" I remember staring at a reflection of myself after mom’s death. It wasn’t depressing nor was it painful. It was a deadly state of numbness. It took me almost a week to cry because I felt the pain crushing down on me like an endless bin of rocks that would soothen.
I went through it alone, nobody helped and nobody wanted to.
Dad tried but fair enough, how long could be?
I wanted to be alone but someone had to take the blame. I wanted a culprit other than myself. As much as I wanted to blame myself, I blamed somebody in the air. My dad. then me. then all over my dad again.
Today he was a at a safer place where he could meet mom, and deliver the sort of news that his daughter did the job nobody else could.
My arms were shaking at my diary entry. This had been me a year before. More
