IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?

WORTH 2

The alarm was loud and shrill when it went off. Niki had mostly been awake already, though, so she simply opened her eyes and stabbed at her phone's screen to stop the noise. Her arm flopped back onto the bed once it was done. The room was humid, and sweat made her shirt and underwear cling harshly to her skin. Niki slid her eyes shut and buried her head underneath the pillow.

"Ah! Ah... Ah. f**k me harder! Yesss!"

Niki uncovered her face and glared across the room where she could now hear the distinct sound of a bed banging against the thin wall. Clearly the couple on the other side were having a great time, and quite loudly too.

"Faster!"

She sighed. There was absolutely no going back to sleep while strangers had s*x in her ears. She threw the blanket aside and padded over to the bathroom to clean herself up for the day.

Five days. Niki had driven as far away as she could, then taken residence in a small town. There was only one motel available, but it wasn't so bad. She'd been here for three nights. There was no plan, no goal. Niki simply wanted to be away, to take time for herself and figure her life out.

After showering and dressing in the time it took the woman next door to reach her second shattering o****m, Niki quickly left her room and headed into town. There was a Starbucks, thank god, so she decided to order a strong coffee and took a seat close to the counter. She leaned her chin against her palm and watched the people around her. It was pretty busy, but that was most likely due to the morning rush as people grabbed a beverage before heading in to work. That train of thought made Niki pull her phone out of her pocket and stare at it. She deliberated-should she? She hadn't taken any calls or read any messages since she'd left, so there was no telling what was happening back at home. Part of her really hoped that Louise was kicking up a fuss, screaming at people to find her and bring her back. That would mean that she actually still cared, that there was still room in her heart to worry. But when Niki unlocked her phone and went through her messages, all she saw was texts and emails from Mel, advising her on the goings-on of the shop and wishing her well. There was even a message from her mother reminding her to visit for her mum's birthday. She sighed.

"Niki!"

Her head snapped up. A young boy behind the counter was glancing hurriedly around the shop, so she stood and took her coffee from him, muttering a polite thanks. He merely smiled and turned to give out his next order. Niki left the shop and started a slow, unhurried walk. She stared at her smartphone for a long time, taking languid sips of coffee, listening to the buzz of cars around her. Eventually she gave in and tapped on Mel's contact. On the first ring she picked up.

"Were you staring at your phone waiting for me to call?" Niki asked, voice laced with fake amusement.

Melina sighed. "Niki. Where are you? I've been worried sick. It's been days since we last spoke. Are you alright?"

Niki took a large mouthful of coffee and deliberately made Mel wait in suspense while she swallowed. "Hi, mom," she retorted, rolling her eyes. "I'm fine. Seriously, stop worrying so much."

"Someone needs to," Mel shot back. "You're hurting right now."

"I'm not feeling much right now, actually."

"Niki, you left."

Silence. Niki counted to ten, waited for the sudden churning of her stomach to stop. She dumped her half-drunk coffee in a dustbin and turned into the town park. "I did. I'm actually calling about the shop. How is it doing? How are sales?"

Mel didn't say anything immediately, and Niki didn't need to see her to know that she was frowning. Out of all of her friends, Mel was the closest to her. They shared a similar background, and through struggle had grown up strong together. It touched Niki, to know that Melina cared so much. Almost enough to make her want to go back. Almost.

"The shop is fine. Steph is on her second week of training, but she's learning the layout of the shop. She is exceptional with sales, so we are trading in positive figures."

"And our target?"

"If Steph keeps upselling the way she is, we'll make target and more."

Niki cracked a tiny smile. "That's good. I'm glad. I hope Daniel is treating her well."

Mel snickered. "Actually, I think we've only created a monster. He and Steph are like best friends now."

"That's good. Really good."

She reached a dam and crept up to the edge of the grass. A family of ducks floated by, creating ringlets of water that spread out from their oval bodies. Niki watched them and lazily kicked some rocks into the water, scaring the ducks away. She sighed.

"When are you coming back?" Mel asked.

Niki tilted her head back and stared up into the trees above her. "When I feel like it. Not yet."

"Soon?"

"I don't know."

"Okay. Just stay safe. And don't do anything stupid, please. You're still married."

Niki furrowed her brows. "You're being a mom again."

Mel laughed. "You're the sort of friend that needs a legion of moms, Niki. Just take care of yourself. Alright? I need to get back onto the floor now. Bob called in sick so Steph and Daniel are alone, entertaining themselves on top of the counter." There was a sudden crash in the background. "And there we go. They broke something. Bye, Nikita."

She said farewell and stuffed her phone back into her pocket. "Still married, huh?" she muttered to herself. "I wish it felt that way."

*

"Staying late again, Mrs. Donovan?"

Lou startled at the sudden voice, face lifting to stare at the open doorway. The floor beyond her office was pitch black, evidence that her staff had all left already. Lou's was the only light still on. Glancing quickly, Lou saw Niki standing there in her doorway, tall figure spilling shadows into her office. But it was only Kia, and Lou flushed lightly in embarrassment at herself. Her heart was suddenly beating erratically.

"I suppose I should leave," she admitted quietly. Kia silently stood by the doorway as Louise packed her laptop and files away, and then joined her in the darkness. She switched her light off and fell into step beside Kiara. Niki was a little bit shorter, and she had a more chiselled build, but she still looked like her minus the trademark fringe. When Kia had first applied with Lou's company, Niki had been utterly amused and had begged her to hire the woman. Luckily for Kia she was more than qualified, and Lou had wanted to entertain Niki's sense of humour. Once, Niki had snuck in and convinced Kia to let them pretend to be each other. Lou's heart gave a hard squeeze and she tightened her grip on her suitcase.

"Driving home?" Kiara asked.

Lou almost forgot that they were walking together. She spared Kia a patient look, lips twitching into a small smile. "Yes."

Kia studied her face. "Is she not home yet?"

There it was, the dreaded question. No one had dared ask her in the week since Niki had disappeared. Gossip spread quickly in their company, and Kia also happened to be dating Niki's best friend, Melina. Lou wasn't certain by which source Kia had found out, but regardless of where, she still knew. Her gaze was filled with pity and it made Lou furious. It wasn't fair to take her anger out on Kia, though, so Lou bottled all her emotions up and kept her face void.

"No. I'm sure when she does come back, you'll be the first to know from Mel."

Kia's face creased in deeper concern. "You don't honestly think she would come to us before you?"

Lou pulled her keys out and pushed the unlock button for her car. "She left," she said plainly. "What more do I need to say?" Her car door opened automatically and she set her suitcase and laptop down on the passenger seat. Kia's car seemed to be parked right beside her, but she didn't get in immediately.

"If you need anything Loui, let me know."

The familiar nickname made Lou's eyes sting. When last had someone called her that? When had Niki called her that? She couldn't even remember the last time she'd gone out to have dinner with their friends. Was Niki right? Had she let her work completely consume her?

"Thanks." She gave her a very weak smile. "Drive safely, and tell Mel that I say hi."

Kiara nodded and disappeared into her car. Lou climbed into her own, but waited until Kiara had long ago driven away. There was no desire to return home. What waited there for her? A dark house, silent rooms and an empty bed. Even when they'd barely spoke, just the knowledge that Niki lived there too had given Lou some measure of comfort. Before sorrow and guilt could creep into her bones, Lou felt a twinge of anger and latched onto it with desperation. Slowly and thickly rage burned through her veins, and then she was speeding away from Aguirre Corp, ignoring all stop signs and red lights. Adrenalin pumped through her veins, urged her to go faster faster faster.

Lou drove for what felt like hours, and when she finally felt her eyes grow heavy, she slowed down to the legal speed limit and watched the flash of street lights and business signs. A few clubs were still open, spilling people and pulsing lights onto the street. She considered stopping and visiting one, but then her wedding ring sparkled on her finger and her stomach clenched tight, and Lou drove on. Before she realized it, she ended up on her street. Reluctantly she parked in her driveway, then merely stared up at the dark, vacant house.

"I hope you find what you're looking for," she spoke aloud. "And that it's worth ending this marriage over."

She slipped her ring off, grabbed her bags and headed inside. There was no way to convince herself that her heart wasn't heavy.