IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?

WORTH 15

Being back home had made her stupid. After having s*x dreams of Louise all night, Niki woke up to find that she had soaked through her underwear and shorts, and had been absolutely horrified. Despite the fact that she woke up in a different bed, clearly remembered dinner and her dreams, she still walked down the hallway towards the bathroom forgetting where she was. She somehow missed the sound of running water, and sleepily threw the bathroom door open, eager to pee.

Louise glanced up from in the shower, brown eyes wide open. Niki stood there in the hallway for a hot second, incredibly confused, and then she saw Lou's breasts and pink n*****s and soft belly, and her brain kicked back to life. She shouted and covered her eyes with her hands.

"Niki!"

"f**k, s**t, I'm sorry!" She blindly grabbed for the door handle and slammed it shut, heart in her throat. The shower shut off, minutes went by, and then Lou opened the door in a towel and peered hesitantly out.

"Do you need to use the toilet?" she asked timidly. Her entire face was red.

Niki stared at her. A familiar feeling stirred in her gut-affection, arousal. It might have just been a result of her dreams. Her thighs were still slick from them, reminding her that she also needed to shower. Her throat felt closed up and tight, so she merely nodded. Louise grabbed her clothes and left the bathroom, hurrying back to her room. Niki immediately went inside and shut the door. The air was warm from the steam, and sweat trickled down her back.

"Get a grip, you fuckwad," she growled at herself. "You aren't a teenager."

Be that as it may, she was mildly frightened that she was finding her wife attractive again. But was that really such a bad thing?

***

Niki felt like an absolute moron. So she decided to visit Louise at work and bring some cake-black forest, Lou's favourite. When she called ahead, Kiara had been incredibly surprised but pleased. When Niki arrived and walked towards Lou's office, many heads on the floor turned and watched her with curiosity. She also had flowers alongside the cake, because their morning had started out really embarrassingly. Most likely the people here didn't even know who Niki is, and really, that was mostly Niki's fault.

"You actually came!" Kiara left her desk beside Lou's office and scrambled over. "Oh, and you brought flowers!" She grinned from ear to ear. "Is it a thank you for a great night in bed?"

Niki felt her ears burn. "I'm just saying sorry," she ground out through gritted teeth. "We're sleeping in separate rooms."

Kiara's face dropped. "Oh, that's boring."

"We aren't allowed to have s*x," she added.

Kiara's smile returned. "Well, I assume the key word is yet." Kiara winked and opened the door. "She should be ready."

Niki gave Chaeyoung a glare and stepped inside. Lou's head was bent as she spoke softly on the phone, so she didn't realize that Niki was there. Niki shut the door and went over to sit down. She patiently waited until Louise was done with the call, and when she set the phone down with a sigh, she jumped when she noticed Niki.

"Oh, Niki! I didn't hear you come in."

Niki suppressed a laugh. "Kia let me in."

Louise ran a hand through her hair. She'd left it loose, and she looked really beautiful. Niki refused to think about Louise's beauty, so she set the cake and flowers down and grinned sheepishly.

"Oh Niki, thank you. But I have an appointment at 2."

Niki smirked. "I am your appointment at 2."

Louise blinked. She quickly checked her schedule. "Oh. You're right." Her brows furrowed. "You called and made an appointment just so you could bring flowers and cake?"

Niki shrugged. "I figured I'd just aggravate you by arriving unannounced and taking up your time. We have half an hour, by the way. So eat some cake and relax those tense shoulders."

She saw how Louise was rolling her problem shoulder, which she stopped doing once it was mentioned. Louise blushed lightly and pulled the cake towards her. "Not that this isn't nice, but why?"

Niki looked away. "An apology for barging in like a moron this morning."

Louise quietly opened the cake box and grabbed a plastic fork from within, then, "Oh." She stabbed the cake with her fork. "Niki," she looked up, "I'm still your wife, you know." She was clearly resisting a smile. "You've done way more than just look at my naked body. And you're allowed to see it still, regardless."

Niki gripped the fabric of her pants. "No, not regardless. Things are weird right now. Even if legally we're still married, I shouldn't be doing something like that. Not until, um," she cleared her throat, "not until my heart is in a warmer place, you know?"

Louise stared at her for a long moment, making her squirm. Eventually she looked away to start eating. "Are you going to sit there and stare, or have some cake as well?"

Niki was relieved that Lou let it go. Her wet dreams still bothered her, because they'd been so good, and for the first time in what was probably two years, she was really aching to get laid. Her fingers took the edge off, but they weren't enough.

"I brought two forks for a reason," Niki shot back playfully. Louise merely smiled, and then they sat and ate the cake together. They didn't realize time had gone by so quickly, even though they weren't saying a word. The door to Lou's office suddenly burst open, startling them, and Kiara stumbled in the doorway with her hands wrapped around a man's arm.

"Sir, as I said, her appointment hasn't finished."

The man sent Kiara a chilling glare. "I have an appointment with Ms. Louise at two thirty sharp. I don't appreciate being made to wait."

Niki stood and glared him down. Kiara released the man and stepped back. She gave them a sheepish grin. So clearly she had been trying to postpone, so that they could have more time. As annoying as she could be sometimes, Niki actually appreciated it. She felt like she'd been able to give Louise a nice short break, and that was a great feeling.

"Don't you know it's rude to burst in without permission like that?" Niki asked him.

He straightened and fixed his perfectly set tie. "Not when I called ahead weeks ago. You are?" His eyes flicked to the cake on Lou's desk and the flowers, and he clearly seemed to disapprove.

Louise stood from her desk and rounded it to sit on the edge. She crossed her arms over her chest. Niki expected her to smile politely and apologize, but instead a cold mask settled over her face and she gave the man a glare that made even Niki falter.

"Who she is has no bearing. I will see you when I am free to do so, John. You are not allowed to storm in here like you own the place, and if you ever want to work with me again, you will make sure you remember that."

John bristled. He straightened, but Niki was still taller than him and Louise didn't seem to care about their posturing.

"I assume my father wouldn't be pleased to hear that I was late to my next meeting because you were having a date."

Lou lifted a brow in challenge. She didn't need to explain, is what her expressions said, because she was the boss. John didn't seem to care, though. It made Niki so angry.

Is this what she deals with every day? Macho men and their egos?

Deciding to hell with it, Niki took Lou's hand and sent John a glare. "I suppose I should go. I can't keep you all day, even if I am your wife." John frowned. Niki looked into Lou's suddenly surprised eyes, then dipped down and kissed her, making sure that John got an eyeful. When she pulled away, Louise stared at her helplessly and Niki stepped aside.

"I'm sure you have someone to get back to," she sneered at him. At his jealous seething, she knew he didn't. She laughed, gave Louise a wave and then sauntered out like she owned this place too. She noticed that a lot of people had gathered near the office to stare, and that most likely the whole floor had seen or already heard of the kiss.

So what. Rachel hadn't said they couldn't kiss. And it had been worth it to see that i***t's expression. She just hoped that Louise wouldn't be angry with her later.

It was strange, though. Kissing Louise hadn't felt like nothing. In fact, it had been... nice.

***

Niki sat in the kitchen, having cooked dinner herself with the ingredients sent by Rachel. Her hands were slightly shaking. Lou was set to get home any minute, and she really wasn't sure if Louise was going to be weird or angry. They could very easily have a massive argument. To be honest, Niki was expecting Lou to storm through the door and immediately demand to know why the f**k she'd been so impulsive as to kiss her in front of someone so important, or something. Niki swallowed.

She was unnerved by how much she didn't want Louise to come home in a bad mood. Even if Lou pretended it hadn't happened, she would be fine with that.

The front door opened and Niki stiffened. In her anxiety, she'd forgotten to take off her apron and change into something more comfortable. Just as she stood, Louise walked into the kitchen. Her dress shirt was unbuttoned at the top, showing the column of her throat and slight cleavage. When she saw the table set out, she paused and smiled.

"You still have that apron," she said first. "I didn't think you did."

Niki glanced down. "Oh. Yeah." She stood and gently slid it off. When they'd first moved in together, Louise had gotten Niki this apron. It was her favourite one, to be honest. She did a lot of cooking and was usually the sole cooker in the house, especially once Louise started working under her father. It was simple, but Niki loved it. It was eight years old, but it still looked new. "Of course I still have it. I love it."

Louise gave her the warmest smile Niki had ever seen. She strode forward then and paused right in front of Niki, making her heart thunder. "It's nice seeing you wear it. I haven't for a while."

Niki looked away, anywhere but at Lou's chest. Even though logically it was okay. They were married. Niki had seen everything there was to see already. But still. "I never stopped wearing it," she said softly. "I guess you just never got home in time to see it."

Lou frowned and looked down. She reached out and took Niki's sleeves. "Niki... I um, about at my office..."

Niki swallowed. "I'm sorry for kissing you so suddenly like that. I just wanted to make that asshole squirm."

Louise's smile returned. "I don't care. Actually, well..." She looked up, eyes swimming with emotion. "I wanted to ask you something."

Niki could feel the heat of Lou's fingers, even through her shirt. "Yeah?"

"Can you kiss me again?"

Her heart actually thumped hard. It was almost dizzying, feeling like this again. The last time Niki felt like this, she and Louise had just started dating. Maybe her having moved out for so long had helped. Right now she wanted nothing more than to be physically close to Louise, when before she'd been annoyed by the idea, almost repulsed.

"You want me to kiss you?"

Lou bit her lip and nodded. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I just want to test something."

Niki studied her. She seemed mostly nervous, if a bit embarrassed. What was the harm? "We weren't forbidden from kissing," she said softly. "So I guess..."

Louise gasped when Niki gripped her shoulders. She leaned down and they met halfway, lips gently touching. The familiarity of it seeped into Niki's heart. Their kiss deepened, tongues sliding out, sliding together. Her lips were warm and home, and Niki felt heat cover her entire body. Lou leaned up and wrapped arms around her neck, and Niki ached. She was backed up into the counter and groaned when Louise pulled at her hair. Niki slid her hands down to Lou's hips and pulled her closer.

There was not an inch of space between them. Niki could feel the soft swell of Lou's breasts, the hard n*****s poking through, and the heat of her skin. Her mind raced with thoughts she shouldn't be having. Doing anything more was against the rules, but... Louise's taste was intoxicating her, just like it used to, and Niki wanted nothing more than to slide her hand-

Lou's phone rang. The shrill beeping startled them apart, and Louise rushed to answer the call. Her cheeks reddened harsher when the person on the line greeted her. Louise spoke for a moment, and then ended the call and set her phone aside. She laughed softly.

"Who was it?" Niki asked. She was still panting, her whole body quivering. She had been so close to breaking that rule. Both of them were suddenly keenly aware of what they had just done, and what they almost did.

"Rachel," Lou answered, covering her cheeks with her hands. "She asked how our first day is going." She laughed again. "And reminded me that we aren't allowed to have sex."

Niki covered her face. "How the f**k does she know?"

Louise shrugged. "She has eyes everywhere. Sometimes I'm afraid to shower."

They chuckled together, then grew silent, contemplating what had just happened. Niki wanted to kiss her again. In fact, she didn't want to stop kissing her. The force of the desire was so strong that she was a little frightened by it.

"We should probably eat," Louise said softly. She took her hand and tugged on it, smiling shyly. "And..." She bit her lip. "That was really nice."

Niki couldn't help herself. She dipped down and kissed her again. Feeling this way made her feel alive again. Like she was alive again. Like she could feel again. She pulled away quickly and stared down into Lou's eyes.

"It was," she agreed. She then left her and sat down to eat. Louise stared at her, flushed, then joined her.

Despite the energy charged in the air, they sat in silence. But it was a heavy silence, one with desire.

Maybe it was just that they weren't allowed to. Maybe that was making them feel like this. Or maybe things would be okay.