Webs We Weave

The Chemicals React

Sloane's P.O.V

".. And that's pretty much it." Wow. Get a load of that.

"You almost sound like the perfect guy." I put a cigarette between my lips, tilting my head while lighting it, careful not to burn my hair or eyelashes. My strawberry blonde hair could easily fizz up while hanging straight around my face like this.

"What do you mean?" he asked. What does he want from me, an elaborated ego boost?

"You're successful, you appear to be a kind man, you want something serious-but no marriage or children, so far you've been a real gentleman, you're passionate, no drugs or substances of any kind apparently, except a drink every now and then, you own more than one house, the cool car, mature, you get straight to the point... The list goes on I'm sure, but we're all a little broken and flawed, it's nothing to be ashamed of. So what's wrong with you?" That came out different than I wanted it to. I'm gritting my teeth again, dammit, I really need to stop doing that.

" Why does there have to be something wrong with me?" he almost sounds offended. Which I happen to find amusing.

" Are you going to tell me or do you want me to guess?" Please don't tell me he's into games, otherwise I'd have to take back most of the things I've said.

" What would you guess? " he said before taking another sip of his beer, challenging me. If I wasn't so insanely attracted to this man I'd run, but I'm planted by his side, roots and all. I took a drag from my cigarette and blew out a cloud of smoke. I should quit this sh*t, but I like smoking at night.

" You're not married, you're not gay, so my guess would be that you're ruined by another woman. Or more." Not enough to keep me away from him though. He smiled and frowned at the same time. His dark brown hair was wavy, creating locks at the ends, resting on the collar of his shirt. He was really tall and well built, his golden brown skin made my mouth water, literally.

" Well, that's debatable." he said, pretty much defeated at this point. He smiled his gorgeous smile, creating light smiling wrinkles on the sides of his mouth. I'm jelly for this man, he's got me.

He stayed over at my place and slept on the couch, but only for a little while. It wasn't long until he crept into my bed and started cuddling me from behind. I've never really been an affectionate person, but it's like my body pulled into him naturally, my body betrayed me. I like this man, but I won't fall too easily. Oh, who am I kidding, I'm head over heels for this man.

The next morning when I woke up, we were still in the exact same position we fell asleep in. I turned my head to look at his face. His eyes were closed but he smiled, those lines forming around his mouth. He pulled me in closer and buried his face in my hair.

"Good morning, beautiful."

I tried to sit up while his grasp on me was still tight.

"Good morning, handsome. Coffee?"

He just nodded his head, his eyes still closed and smiling. He looked like someone who was having a really nice dream.

After having his coffee, Jayden left for his house to go get ready for work. It was still really early in the morning, but he said he had a meeting to go to. Luckily for me, it was Saturday and I could just stay at home. I was still unpacking boxes and I was only halfway. I just moved to this townhouse two days ago, after my ex-roommate, Chloé, lost her mind. It started right after she fu**ed my best friend, Tokai, whom I've been in love with for years, and she knew it. She knew it would hurt me, she knew how I loved and cried over him, I shared everything with her. She became involved with the wrong people shortly after that and started selling some of my things to support her bad habit. Although she was still beautiful, she's not as driven as before, she completely lost her passion for life. All that mattered to her was the next fix and how or where to get it. I couldn't live with her like that anymore, she became really exhausting and turned every conversation into a fight. I was walking on eggs all the time and whenever I confronted her about something she lashed out at me. She went from being a rational human being, to bat sh*t crazy within weeks. Things became really out of control and I had to leave for reasons that will become clear very soon.

It was just before noon when I heard someone at the door. When I opened it I saw the same beautiful man from this morning and last night, standing in front of me. He had is hands on the door frame on either side, he looked directly at me with those deep dark brown eyes. I let him in and he walked straight past me and started pacing between the kitchen and the lounge.

"Are you okay?" I asked, a little confused, I thought he was working all day.

"Look, I came here because I need to ask you something. Ever since I left this morning, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I'd see a dress in the shop window and wonder what it would look like on you, I get to my car and I wonder where I can take you next, I hang up my phone and wonder if I should call you. It's been like this the whole day. I had to come back and try to make this official, I don't want you looking around, I'm here, I want you and you want me too. Please say you'll be my girlfriend?" I thought he'd never ask.

" Yes. Okay! " he grinned and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a tight hug. Of course I want to be with this man. He's the only one who could make forget about Kai. The only one I've loved as much, or maybe even more and it's only been two weeks.

Bending down, his face in the crook of my neck, holding my cheeks, he kissed me. It's like everything was in slow motion all of a sudden, my head started spinning from the chemical reaction between us. I want his lips on mine everyday from here on out.

Tokai's P.O.V

"Hey. Sloane!", she's so deep in her thoughts, all zoned out she doesn't even hear me calling out. "Yeah?" she replied nonchalantly. "Where do you go when you leave the room?" I asked.

"Uuhm, home? Or the bathroom? I don't know. What kind of question is that?" She wasn't getting what I meant. "When you zone out, you get this 'far away' look in your eyes. I'm asking you what is it you're thinking about? Where does your mind wander?" I could tell she was feeling awkward the way her eyes were darting around to find a spot that could distract her and stop her from blushing, but I had to get through to her somehow.

" I.. uhm. I'm just thinking about how nice it is to just chill out here in your car, watching the stars." She's such a bad liar. But I got the 'message', she doesn't want to talk about what's on her mind. Still, I hope she meant what she said about how nice it is here under the stars.

I don't exactly see Slo the way she sees me. We've had s*x before but we are just friends at the least,, at least. I know I need her around, she does make me feel like I mean something. She's my right hand man. She's confessed her love to me numerous times since we've met, but to no avail. I just don't think of her that way, but we stick together regardless. Dating is just a big no for me.

It's not all on me. It's a kind of 'fool me once-shame on you, fool me twice-shame on me' kind of situation. The thing with friends and having certain "benefits" is to never fall in love. However, one always falls in love and that completely ruins the friendship. It's a risk to take, not a lot of friendships survive that. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained is what I always say.

Things took a turn a few days ago when she met someone. I thought it was just a fling but the lack of calls and time spent between us was saying something else. Her eyes were sparkling, she was smiling a lot, she was in love with this guy. I figured it won't be long until she comes back to me, but there's this little thought in my head saying, 'what if', over and over again.

If all else fails, I want to walk away with something that at least compensates for the time I've invested into holding on. Keeping her. And I don't mean it in a materialistic kind of way, more in a personal way. I need a piece of her, if not all of her. I could have her whenever I wanted, she'd submit. She was naive, for the very first time I might add. She let me into this space behind all her walls. However, I feel a change in her behavior, something is different from this guy she's seeing. And for the first time, I'm breaking my own rules, preventing me from succeeding in having her as a friend with benefits only. I overestimated myself, and I underestimated the attraction between them. It is indeed an insatiable pull. And he knows it. I have reason to be afraid of it, damn it. Letting go of her and getting her out of my system, would be a brutal process. It's positively inevitable. I can't stand that guy, one of us is gonna have to go.

I looked out the window at the stars glistening far away in a black sky. I sure do love chill sessions with Slo, it's part of how we became really good friends long before we started having s*x.

"What's the time?" Slo asked, louder than necessary. I chuckled and proceeded laying back in my car seat. I pulled out my phone, "Dude, it's like 2am.." I said.

"I have to go home right now" she stated. Since when did time matter when we were chilling together? I started my car and drove us back down the hill and onto the gravel road that leads back into town.

Sloane's P.O.V

I shouldn't be doing this anymore I thought as we pulled up to my driveway. I can't still be friends with Kai while I'm in a relationship with Jayden. Considering all the history between Kai and me, it's not fair to Jay. I keep wanting to tell Kai that I'm moving up and on with Jay, but what are the rules to breaking up with your best friend? Do you rip it off like a band aid or is there a process that you can follow to make it hurt less? Ugh, all this over thinking has my anxiety clawing at me. Can't wait to just get in the shower and then bed. My thoughts were interrupted by Kai overstepping the car's brakes.

"Hey!", why did he just do that?

"I thought I saw something. It's okay though, you're fine. Right, dude?"

Right dude. Not. But let's not linger, I want to go.

"Yeah thanks, this was fun. Bye, dude." That went smoothly.

So good to be home, I'm going to shower and sleep. No hair wash tonight, too tired. Heading up the stairs I notice my bedroom light on, reflecting shades of yellow on the walls and down the hallway. A perfect caption of shadows for every single thing standing out. What is it with me allowing my own mind to freak me out. Turning my thoughts inside out.

Getting closer to the room I can hear someone laughing coming from my closet. I slowly open the door and the sight before me makes me regret opening the door instantly. What is she doing here? In my home! This couldn't possibly be true what I'm seeing. She raised her hands as if to surrender and that's when I saw it. In my frozen state, I somehow managed the words,

"What have you done?"

***