Substitute for Lawson

20

The realization of what you have done always comes too late.

Emily woke up first, realizing the awkwardness of their situation. A naked man with tousled hair appeared before her, who was sleeping on his side with one hand hugging a pillow, and with the other holding the girl's waist. Demin's face was relaxed, not expressing any regret, but only showing what an infant dream he was sleeping in. An electronic alarm clock on the bedside table showed half past five in the morning, so Damian's biological clock was not going to wake him up, but Emily jumped up as soon as she realized that everything that happened was not a dream. She was just as naked, which made her more confused. Because of the resting heavy hand of the deputy, she was afraid to move and disturb his sleep, therefore, resigned to the situation, she only looked at the male features in the twilight of the bedroom.

- Fool. Amy said with her lips, so that the sleeping man would not hear. Feeling an unpleasant pulling pain in the lower abdomen, she winced. After all, she knew what she was doing, but still succumbed, and it seems she does not regret it. She does not regret that she gave her virginity to him, because he is her beloved man, although he did not think yesterday with his head, but raised Emily to heaven and it seems she understands those girls. The perfect lover. But how will she look him in the eye after that? I wonder if he even feels something? My cheeks began to glow with fire, I wanted to wash my face with cold water, but it would be better to fall through the ground and never remember that night, which brought quite a few new sensations. With every thought that ran through Fox's head, she became more and more embarrassed. Their naked bodies, further coexistence with each other, and the realization that there can be nothing more serious. Lost in her thoughts, she shuddered convulsively when Damian twisted in his place and turning from side to stomach, finally removes her hand from the woman's waist, which allows Amy to jump out of bed without hindrance, quickly collect scattered things, and jump out of the bedroom on toes, only he would not have seen her like this. Although, what, he had already seen her.

He enters the bathroom, turns on the tap in the bathtub to dial it and, waiting, looks at herself in the mirror, spellbound. Something has changed? The lips were swollen, the hair was terribly disheveled, and there was also a suction on the right breast. Touching him with her fingers, she lightly ran them over his skin and smiled a little again, blushing like a tomato. He touched her, so tenderly and passionately at the same time. It’s a pity that at one time, but she promised herself that she didn’t even regret it. The sensations of his fingers, lips, still lingered on the skin, creating mild goosebumps that caused shivers throughout his body.

Even though Emily tried not to stomp and walk away as quietly as possible, Damian still caught the sound of doors slamming and the air around him. Realization came to him as well as to Emily, not immediately. Lifting his head from the pillow and examining the empty space near him, he realized what he had done. Tonight he f****d a virgin who didn’t want anything like that. Why did he spoil the delicate flower when there are others, more accessible and ordinary, and the same Bona that he could use at night, and his conscience would not gnaw at him, even if the girl confessed her feelings for him. Covering his eyes with his palm, the man shakes his head convulsively, as if trying to convince himself that everything that happened at night was a bluff, that everything was a dream. How could he encroach on her and how would he look in the eyes? Bastard. He himself once saved her from being r***d and, he himself, could not save her from himself.

- i***t ... - he croaked, exhaling noisily. For all that, remembering tonight, he caught himself thinking that it was not like what had happened in this bedroom many times, not that it had come down to automatism and the satisfaction of his male needs.

But how is she now? What does she feel about him? Resentment? Anger? Hatred? Want to leave? Or has she already escaped in a hurry? Of course, after what he did with this gentle creature, he, an honest man, should marry her? But he is already marrying her, that's the whole paradox! Heck! And the strangest thing is that he wants more.

***

Pulling herself together and preparing for the worst, the girl smiled in her reflection, put on a T-shirt and shorts, and finally left the bath. She wanted to make breakfast and try to pretend nothing had happened. But as soon as she opened the bathroom door, she ran into Damiano, who was squinting sleepily and looking rather funny with his hair tousled. It already seems that the forces are leaving the girl and, blushing, turning into a tomato, she lowers her eyes to the floor, quickly bypassing the young man as soon as he wants to open his mouth. How embarrassing. After retreating into the kitchen, Amy leans her forehead against the refrigerator door and, closing her eyes, begins to wail and try to calm herself. Damian, who followed her with his gaze and immediately realized what had happened, begins to reproach himself even more and is already trying to build a chain of apologies.

After spending some time in the bath, he comes out, capturing the pleasant aroma of food and the sounds of fuss that just came from the kitchen. It is worth preparing well and talking about everything.

- “Damn, like a child! Snorts to himself and confidently heads to the designated spot, where he finds Amy standing by the sink.

The blue-eyed face did not reflect anything and it seems that this frightened Hooke even more. He crept up quite imperceptibly from behind, was about to reach out to her hair, but quickly pulled it back, catching himself on strange desires and suppressing them.

“Amy…” Even her voice breaks with excitement. The girl shudders and, while washing a small pan at that time, drops it into the sink, hastily turning around. From this even he was a little scared, staring at the girl with round eyes.

- What? - She babbled, pulling a smile on her face.

“Forgive me…” the man croaked. “I don't know what came over me… I really didn't want to… I didn't want to force you. I am very ashamed and if you want to yell at me or do whatever you want, I will understand. I deserve it ... - As a guilty boy looks down, full of sadness and regret. “I didn’t know you were a virgin, although you could have guessed with your looks…” He grins nervously, laying his palm on the tabletop and starts drumming with his fingers. - It seems it was important for you and probably you took care of yourself for the man you love, but I ruined everything ...

The girl purses her lips awkwardly. How can she tell him that it is, but she does not regret it at all? That the first time she had was wonderful and it was with her beloved man.

“It's okay, Damian…” She sighs softly and goes back to cleaning the pan. - Do not need to apologizes. It only makes it worse. You didn't force me ...

“Amy, I'm really sorry… Forgive me…” He mumbles pleadingly again, trying to touch the girl and not holding himself back this time, gently runs his hand over the shoulder. Fox flinches at the touch as if from an electric current, and taking advantage of the fact that the kitchen towels were not nearby, quickly slipped out from under the warm hand.

- Why do you apologize to every girl you slept with? I've heard something else about you. - Puts a smile on his face, starting to wipe the dish dry.

- I do not…

- Damian is really great. - She interrupts on the floor a word. - I do not regret. My first time was wonderful. - The cheeks were deeply reddened, therefore, in order not to give herself away, the girl quickly reached into the bottom drawer of the cabinet to remove the pan that had been scrubbed to a shine. - Sit down to breakfast. It gets cold. - She muttered and pretended to be interested in raking on a stick to keep everything neat.

Damian froze. Did she really like it? She's not hysterical? No regrets? Doesn't she curse him? Does he say that you liked everything? She is, of course, embarrassed and this can be seen from the way she looks away, tries to distract herself by washing the dishes, even tone, but does not run away. For some reason, it doesn't make it easier. His conscience was still in him. Obediently sits down at the table, looks at the delicious breakfast, but there are still a lot of thoughts in my head about whether it is right to eat so calmly alone?

- And you? - He takes a fork in his hands, turning to the girl who continued to fiddle in the kitchen, turning her back to him.

- I will not ... Have a snack while cooking ... - Slightly stuttering looking for an excuse.

- In the morning you need not have a snack, but have a hearty breakfast, - he clinks in his own manner. - Emily, sit down at the table.

“I really don't want to…” He sees her profile. The girl rushes about not knowing what to do.

- Emily. - Exhales loudly through the nose. - I know that you are confused now. It's awkward for you to be around me, but let's forget and have breakfast together in honor of reconciliation?

The girl was silent. Deciding to take out a clean mug, she stared at its bottom, imagining that she is now somewhere there.

“Emily,” Lowsen sighed. - Do not force me to use force and drag me to the table in my arms! - The chair on which he was sitting creaked on the floor, making the girl shudder and make sure that his words were true.

- Now. I'll just pour some tea. - She murmured, catching herself grabbed the kettle and, almost burnt herself, hurriedly yuking and jumping back.

The man reacted just as quickly, was there, like a restless mother.

- Burnt? Strong? Where does it hurt? - he mumbled, examining her from head to toe, as if something serious had happened.

Dumbfounded by a somewhat hot teapot, as much as a man, the girl blinks her eyes and, as if a fish cannot squeeze out a sound. Damian grabs her by the shoulders and leads her to the table, quickly placing her on a chair. For some reason, she obeys, hovers in her thoughts, while he returns back to the kettle and pours boiling water into it.

- I'll make your own tea, start eating. - He mutters, following his gaze, as she, not understanding anything, picks up the cutlery.

***

The commute to work this time seemed too long. There was deathly silence in the cabin until an irritated Damian turned on the radio. Emily was staring at the window, and the guy no longer knew how to distract her. This time, she didn’t even ask to stop a couple of blocks from the office, so both left in the parking lot and entered the building together. He walked a little behind, could not take his eyes off the secretary, which seemed to him at the moment more attractive than before. Pulling himself away from these thoughts, Damian shook his head and stopped to see the chief architect slowed down, lagging behind his companion.

Floating in the clouds, Emily spent the whole working day practically doing nothing, blinking her eyes and thinking about Damian. With Alice today, she almost did not intersect, as she was busy with work outside the office, instructing her friend to take care of routine. Things naturally stood still.

One of the department employees came to the girl, began to tell something animatedly, but in Amy's ears everything was a terrible hum.

- What's the matter? The worried colleague stopped her review of the news, looking into the girl's glass eyes.

- M? - She only squeezed out in response.

- You feel bad?

- No ... - Hastily shook her head and, putting on a smile on duty, looked at the girl. - Sorry, I was thinking ...

- Well, then I'll go ... You have a lot of work ... - A colleague backed away, but as soon as she reached the door, it opened itself and the deputy head of the legal department appeared on the threshold, which Amy was happy to see. - Mrs. Kim, hello. - She greeted and quickly dashed out when Alice nodded to her in response.

The general's wife was on the phone, her tone was more serious than usual, but her eyes betrayed fatigue. Smiling at Amy, she went into her office and closed the door behind her and finished the conversation there. The secretary slowly set to work, so that at least there was visibility, but it was not there, it is not so easy to concentrate.

- How tired I am with them, - Alice appears from the office, the girl falls with a sigh on the sofa that stands at the door in the reception room and closes her eyes.

- Maybe you want something? I can make tea, get chocolate, - Fox sat down with her friend, but she shook her head.

- No, I'll just sit ... - she refused, folding her arms over her chest.

Emily nodded as if to herself and repeated the gesture after her friend. There was a deep silence in the waiting room, which was diluted by the sound of the wall clock, where you could hear the movement of the second hand. The girls seemed to be meditating, but the thoughts devouring Fox from the inside did not allow him to sit still.

- Damian and I slept ... - the girl muttered quietly, lifting her lower back from the back of the sofa and folding in half.

- What?! - instantly reacts Kim, opening his eyes after. Emily turns to her for a second, nods guiltily, and buries her face in her hands. - How did it happen ?! - Alice mutters in confusion, moves closer and hugs her friend by the shoulders. It seems even a drop and she will go to deal with her husband's friend already seriously. - He that you ...?

- Not! I ... - the girl hesitated trying to find the word. My throat was dry, I wanted to drink water, so the secretary swallowed nervously. “I don’t know how it turned out ... But we slept. This is not his fault! Amy threw herself into the man's defense with all her might, because she knew the fighting nature of her London friend.

- And? Liked? - Alice herself did not understand how she managed to ask such a question.

- Yes ... - the interlocutor nodded confidently. - Even if it was the first and last time. I do not regret, but Damian ... He begged my forgiveness for this all morning ... Apparently who regrets is he. - the last phrase was given with difficulty, in the chest it was unpleasantly prickling, not allowing to breathe normally. I didn't want to think about that, although everything was obvious.