Don't Let Them See You

Chapter 4

The heat was unbearable. I was sweating profusely but kept moving despite the fact. The few bottles of waters we had in our bags were running dry, and the food was barely lasting. I knew I would need to go to the store, but I was cautious about being found out. They say the first person to let their guard down, instantly have their walls blown up. That meant that if I was even a little careless, I wouldn't too long after, regret being so.

I had no intention of having my brother or Raisa starve though. Raisa had helped a lot by keeping night watch sometimes so that I could get some sleep. The least I could do was make sure they both got enough nutrients. It's true that I had been skipping a few meals so that my brother could eat.

Raisa had brought a little money for herself. We went to her household to get her things and found out that it was just her and her father. her mother was killed recently, so Raisa's father told her she needed to leave. He gave her the rest of his money, and then set us all off.

For days we had been walking, and I had no clue of exactly where we were going, but I was just glad to get away. The grey atmosphere only grew more depressing as the days went on. I saw many poor children outside on the sheets. The sight pulled at my heartstrings, but I knew sadly there was nothing I could do.

Finally, we arrived at a small old gas station. Aadil lifted his head from his sleep and smiled. "sis can I get a hot dog", he asked in the sweetest voice. I hadn't heard him speak for hours so it was good to see he was feeling better. Of course, when he asked me for something, there was no way I was going to say no. Especially if it meant buying him something as simple as a hot dog.

"Sure buddy, want anything on it? Also stays out here with Raisa for me please", I told him gently. I would grab him a hot dog plus some essential food items like bread, lunch meat, fruits, and other foods because of the small cooler Raisa brought. We would be able to fill the cooler with ice and keep things to eat in there. It sure was a lot more convenient to have.

"Ketchup and mustard please", he says as I ask Raisa if she wanted anything. She tells me to get her a small bag of sunflower seeds while handing me three bucks. I head straight to the store coming face to face with an elder man.

Quietly I skimmed through the shelves for the few things we needed. Then I went to the hot food section, grabbing my brother his hot dog with the condiments in packets placed on the side. There were no other people around and for that I was grateful. The last thing I needed was human interaction.

After paying the nice old man with a total of thirty-two dollars, I walked out of the store. Raisa and Aadil were waiting for me on the side. I walked towards them, handing each of their items before setting the rest of the food down into the cooler.

We ate silently watching the few people pass by. It had become unsafe for people to drive in vehicles, so the amount was scarce. The fact that no one had really bothered us yet, was great. If it could be this easy the whole time, then getting somewhere else would be a piece of cake.

After filling our stomachs, we got up to start moving again. The heat was less difficult to deal with now that we had nice cool bottles of water. My feet and back were killing me, but I knew there was no time for me to complain. Everyone was having a hard time, and worrying about the little things like feet problems;!most definitely seemed unnecessary.

I tried not to waver while searching for yet another place to stay the night. We saw a map not too far from the gas station, and it showed a river was a few miles up ahead. I figured if we headed in that direction, there would be some destination to reach. We settled in a small alley on the side of old non-vacant apartments.

Aadil had me check for spiders, and make sure there were no rats around, before setting him down. Raisa helped me wipe the little bit of dirt away. It was not the best place to sleep, but we would have to make do. Of course, sleeping on the streets would never be ideal. I made sure that Aadil understood things would be difficult before we left.

He was a pretty smart boy already though, and quite understanding for his age. I knew eight-year-olds weren't babies, but he handled the situation better then I had anticipated. The fact that people could not even think of the children during this time was sickening. Some people even ate their own children.

You could see dead bodies and bones all near the dumpsters with many animals, and files to finish off. Usually, around those things, I would have Aadil avert his eyes. Raisa and I felt like throwing up, but we held it in. I was completely awful and the worst is not being able to do a single thing. How people could do such things for their own selfish reasonings was a mystery to me.

To this day I could never understand how people could hurt others in such away. What possible kick could they have gotten out of it? What was so satisfying about seeing your own species used like food bait? Every thought of it made me feel sick.

It was these types of things I hoped to protect my brother from. I wanted him to grow up, and have a loving family. For him to be a dad and share his stories with them. I knew there was a high possibility that I would never get that chance. To never have someone for me to love. But the thought of that was okay, as long as my brother could. He still had a future ahead of him.

At a young age, I had always wanted children of my own. I planned my future house, and places I would go with my children together. Dreaming of the perfect man to come along and love me for the person I was. It was always a fantasy of mine. I found myself thinking of more often then I should have.

I did believe dreams helped give reasons to fight because even though we may never achieve what we want when we dream of it, there’s always still a possibility; no matter the odds.

To me if there’s a possibility, then there's hope, and if there's hope then there's a reason to survive, and with a reason to survive there’s a reason to fight, and with a reason to fight there’s a reason to live. In my case there was definitely more than one reason to live.