LOVING AGAIN

THE CHILD IS DEAD

Nie Lingxi had emailed the directors of 'Flaming Fires'. The script had come to her that night.

Why did it have to be this one?

The second female lead was an escort. One mistake. One pregnancy. No father, no family, just her. An orphan raising a child alone. And then the baby died right after birth. The script ended with her on her knees, screaming into nothing.

Sigh

Why does the past always find a way to catch up to the present?

Doing this film was a sacrifice. The money would help the orphanage. That was why she still agreed to go on with it.

And she knew she’d get the role. She’d lived it. The grief wasn’t acting for her.

What scared her was the after. Crawling out of that kind of pain always left her hollow for days.

She arrived early. Found a corner no one was using. Closed her eyes. Breathed.

The other girls were pacing, whispering lines, crying on cue to warm up. They kept glancing at her like she was crazy as she was just quiet.

Then her name.

...

Inside, the air was thick. The director was mid-rant.

"Nonsense! Is this all you have?" he barked at a man Lingxi didn’t know. "You said open it was open to all. And you bring me all these? Useless!"

"T-there are still some more," the man stammered, holding up five fingers. "Only five left."

The man snorted, murmuring the likes of what would I have expected from this village.

Cameras were set. Lights on.

"Action!"

One second.

Four seconds.

The director’s mouth opened to cut her.

And then she moved.

Nie Lingxi held the doll they’d given her like it was a child. Her fingers brushed over the tiny ears, over the mouth, then the eyes.

And the memories came crashing in. Like water breaking a dam.

...

The night was pitch black.

The pain in her stomach was unbearable. She’d just had surgery. A stillbirth. The baby had died inside her.

It was a small clinic. The equipment was poor. A few hours after, they told her to leave. She knew why. They didn’t want her dying on their hands.

She dragged herself down the hallway, holding the wall to stay upright. She fell. Again.

A nurse led her to a small mound of sand behind the building. That was where the baby was going to be buried.

She collapsed beside it. Her stomach. Her body. Everything hurt. But nothing compared to the hole in her chest.

The only thought in her head was a whisper: There’s nothing worth living for. Nothing. I’ve lost everything.

When Lingxi came back to the room, her cheeks were wet. She was on the floor.

Two minutes passed. No one spoke. The five judges just stared at her, wide-eyed.

She had to say it herself, voice hoarse: "I’m done acting."

The director was stunned. She hadn’t screamed. Hadn’t wailed. Other girls dropped the dolls and sobbed. But she’d made the whole room feel empty. Lonely. He turned away quickly to wipe his eyes.

"We’ll get back to you," one of the judges said.

But they all knew. She’d won it.

Nie Lingxi walked out heavy. Not because she failed. Because the past had dragged her under again.

The other actresses assumed she’d been yelled at.

...

Lingxi decided to stop by a cafe on her way home.

She had no idea she’d regret that decision.

Nie Lingxi sat wearily at the counter of the bar, staring down at the cup in her hands.

She lifted it to her lips and swallowed the remaining coffee in one gulp.

She wanted wine.

Desperately.

But she knew better than to touch alcohol. She knew exactly what would happen if she did.

Then her phone rang.

Lingxi picked it up absentmindedly.

“Xi, darling. It’s been a long time.”

The deep, cold voice on the other end made her blood run cold.

Lingxi froze.

Her fingers tightened around the phone.

“L-Lord Shawn…”

That voice.

There was no way she could ever forget it.

“You got it, baby. Don’t be so formal.”

His tone sounded almost affectionate, but there was something chilling beneath it.

Then his voice hardened.

“Don’t go to Flames Academy.”

Lingxi's breathing stopped.

It felt as though an invisible weight had been placed on her chest. She glanced around the bar, suddenly restless and afraid, as though the man on the phone could somehow see her.

That wasn't a suggestion.

It wasn't a question.

It was an order.

“B-Boss… don't…”

The woman who could normally speak with ease suddenly found herself struggling to form words.

“I've already quit the group,” she managed. “Why… why are you doing this to me?”

She hated how weak she sounded.

Lingxi loved martial arts. That was one reason she wanted to enter Flames Academy.

But there was another reason—one she would never admit aloud.

She wanted to become strong enough to surpass this same bastard, Lord Shawn.

Strong enough to take revenge.

She knew it was practically impossible. Trying to defeat Lord Shawn was like trying to flatten a mountain or drain an ocean.

Still, she had to try.

For a moment, there was silence on the other end.

Then Shawn's voice became icy.

“Don't disobey my orders.”

The call ended.

Lingxi stared at the phone in disbelief.

“Bastard…”

Her hands trembled.

She glared at the screen as though Shawn were still standing in front of her.

She hadn't even gotten the chance to submit her application or take the entrance examination.

Her dreams had been crushed before they had even begun.

“Hey!”

“Five bottles of whiskey.”

Xi, the consequences are dire, her subconscious warned.

Lingxi's jaw tightened.

And for the first time in months, she reached for something she knew she shouldn't.

...

If Nie Lingxi was ever asked who she hated most in this world, there would be no hesitation.

Kee Shawn.

Lord Shawn.

Even years later, the mere thought of him could make her chest tighten. What he had done to her had left scars far deeper than anything visible on her skin.

And the last time she had disobeyed him...

She could still remember every terrifying detail.

...FLASHBACK...

After leaving the Breeze Cartel Empire—the criminal empire ruled by Kee Shawn—Nie Lingxi had made herself a promise.

She was done.

Done with the underground world. Done with bloodshed. Done with people who believed they had the right to control her life.

She had already left the Chen family, and she had yet to begin searching for her biological parents. For the first time in years, she wanted something painfully simple.

A normal life.

So she found a job at a bar.

Although the place was more like an upscale nightclub, Lingxi wasn't worried. She knew how to defend herself, and she had spent enough time around dangerous people to recognize trouble before it came looking for her.

Besides, she was still disguised as a man.

No one there knew who she really was.

For one precious week, she tasted freedom.

Then her phone rang.

The moment she saw the caller's name, the small sense of peace she'd been enjoying disappeared.

Kee Shawn.

She stared at the screen before answering.

His voice came through the moment she picked up.

"Quit your job."

No greeting.

No explanation.

Just an order.

Lingxi's fingers tightened around the phone.

"I'm no longer part of your cartel," she replied coldly. "You don't get to decide where I work."

There was a long silence.

Then, in that frighteningly calm voice of his, Shawn said,

"Don't make me repeat myself."

Lingxi scoffed.

She should have known better.

She thought she had already escaped his world. She had convinced herself that the distance between them meant she was finally free.

So she ignored him.

A few days later, she learned exactly how wrong she had been.

She had barely stepped outside the bar when a black vehicle pulled up beside her.

Before she could react, several men surrounded her.

She kicked.

She struggled with everything she had.

But there were too many of them.

The last thing she remembered before losing consciousness was the sharp sting in her arm and a voice saying,

"Lord Shawn said to bring her back alive."

When Lingxi opened her eyes again, the first thing she noticed was the silence.

The second was the ocean.

She was inside a massive villa built on a private island.

It wasn't merely a house.

It was a fortress.

High walls surrounded the property, armed guards stood at strategic points, and private roads stretched from the main villa toward several enormous buildings scattered across the island.

There was no where to run.

And then she heard footsteps.

Unhurried.

Familiar.

"Baby."

The disgustingly gentle voice made every muscle in Lingxi's body tense.

She turned.

Kee Shawn stood several feet away.

He looked completely composed, as though kidnapping her and bringing her to a private island were perfectly ordinary things.

Lingxi instinctively stepped backward.

"What are you going to do to me?"

Shawn's expression remained unreadable.

"Nothing."

She almost laughed.

Nothing?

He had dragged her across the sea and imprisoned her on an island.

"Then why am I here?"

"House arrest."

His answer came without emotion.

"You'll be released when your behavior improves."

Lingxi stared at him.

For a moment, she genuinely couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Then the reality sank in.

She looked around the enormous villa again.

The guards.

The locked gates.

The isolated island.

This was his main residence.

Which meant he would come here. Often.

Her imagination immediately ran wild.

"Is this how you control everyone who leaves the cartel?"

Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Kee Shawn's eyes darkened.

"No."

He paused.

Then a faint, chilling smile appeared on his lips.

"They're all dead."

Lingxi's blood ran cold.

"No one leaves the cartel alive, dear."

His gaze remained fixed on hers.

"Except you."

The room suddenly felt smaller.

She had always known Shawn was dangerous.

But hearing those words so casually was different.

He wasn't threatening her. He was reminding her of a fact.

She was alive because he had allowed her to be.

Kee Shawn extended his hand.

"Come. I'll show you our room."

Lingxi's eyes widened.

Our room.

Those two words echoed inside her head.

"No."

She took another step backward.

Kee Shawn approached.

Lingxi stepped back again. And again.

Until the back of her knees hit the sofa.

She had nowhere left to go.

She sat down abruptly, her heart pounding so violently she could hear it in her ears.

Shawn kept coming.

One step.

Then another.

His cologne reached her before he did.

Lingxi's fingers curled tightly against the sofa.

She hated that her body was betraying her as she was trembling.

She wasn't weak.

She had survived the cartel.

She had survived the Chen family.

She had survived things that would have broken most people.

Yet somehow, standing in front of Kee Shawn, she felt like the frightened girl she had once been.

He stopped in front of her.

Then, without warning, his hand slipped into the pocket of her clothes.

Lingxi flinched.

He pulled out her phone.

"No phones."

His voice was cold.

Lingxi immediately reached for it.

"Give it back."

Shawn simply looked at her.

"No."

"Shawn—"

His hand closed around her wrist.

Lingxi's breath caught.

He pulled her to her feet with such force that pain shot through her arm.

She stumbled toward him, barely catching herself.

"Let go of me!"

She struggled against his grip.

His fingers tightened.

The pain made her eyes water.

"You're still not understanding," he murmured.

His voice was frighteningly calm.

"You don't get to make the rules."

Lingxi froze.