The Dids We Regret At Last

Questions

Lorie leaned against the wall, folded her arms tight across her chest. She’d barely slept in days. Her mind wouldn’t stop running circles around Jake, his words, his silence, the way he used to look at her like she was everything, and now he barely looked at her at all, maybe because he feel guilty about what he did, she doesn't know. She’d been replaying every moment, every word Jake ever said to her, trying to make sense of the chaos he left behind. Her heart wasn’t ready to hate him completely, but it sure as hell wasn’t ready to forgive him either.

She turned around slowly, eyes falling on Catty who was stretched out on the couch like she had no care in the world, scrolling her phone, tapping her nails against a glass of wine like she had nothing better to do, wearing that smug little look that Lorie had grown to hate.

“I need to know something,” Lorie said softly, voice already cracking under the weight of unspoken questions.

Catty barely glanced at her. “About?”

"What the hell did you do to him?” She asked curiously, looking at unemotional face of Catty, she said, stepping forward. “What did you do to make him this messed up? Like, what the f**k happened between you two?”

Catty scoffed, still looking at her phone. “God, you’re still on that?”

Lorie's voice cracked. “He married me to hurt you. Do you even get how f****d up that is?”

Now Catty finally looked up, raising a brow like she was being inconvenienced. “Yeah, I know. And?”

“And?” Lorie blinked. “That’s all you’ve got to say? Like nothing ever happened between you two? Like you have never been in relationship with him?”

“What do you want me to say?” Catty shrugged. “That I’m sorry? That I feel bad? Because I don’t. So stop this madness and move on”

Lorie's chest tightened. “What did you do to him?”

Catty frowned “What? What exactly do you want Lorie? Can't I sit in peace and enjoy for a moment? Why everything is about him nowdays? If you love him that much go back to him, it's not even that hard”

“I mean it, Catty,” Lorie pressed, her voice firmer now. “What did you do to make him want to destroy everything around him? To want revenge so badly that he used me and that woman from the picture to hurt you?”

Catty sat back with a scoff, swirling the wine in her glass. “Oh you’re blaming me now? That’s rich.”

“I’m not blaming you,” Lorie whispered, almost like she was trying to convince herself. “I just… I don’t understand him. I can’t. He’s not a bad person, Catty. I see him breaking and I don’t know why. Something is wrong, I feel it, but I can’t ask him. So please, tell me what happened between you two.”

Catty let out a laugh, sharp, humorless. “He fell for me. I didn’t fall back. End of story.”

Lorie swallowed hard. “He’s breaking... Catty, I can see it. Every time I look at him… I see something dying in his eyes. I don’t know what it is, but it’s killing me that I can’t f*****g understand him.”

Catty stood up slowly, drink in hand. “That’s not my problem, go and ask him mother Theresa.”

“He loved you,” Lorie said, voice barely a whisper now. “And you broke him.”

Catty turned to face her, expression stone cold. “He was obsessed, he was not in love. There’s a difference. I moved on, and he couldn’t handle it, that’s on him and I don't get it why you're blaming me.”

Lorie’s throat tightened. Her eyes burned. “I think he’s...” She stopped herself. “I think something’s wrong with him.”

Catty tilted her head. “What, like mentally? Yeah, no shit.”

“No, I mean, he is not himself... I never seen him so worried, so lost like... I don't even know how...” Lorie paused, shaking her head. “Forget it. You wouldn’t care even if I told you.”

“You’re damn right I wouldn’t,” Catty snapped.

“You think just because I used to give a s**t means I still do? I don’t. He wanted revenge? Well, now he’s got a broken heart and nothing left. Boo-f*****g-hoo, that's what he deserve for his recklessness”

“I think he hates himself more than he hates either of us,” Lorie murmured, more to herself than to Catty

Catty rolled her eyes. “Look, if you’re trying to make me feel guilty, don’t waste your time, he chose his path and so did you.”

Lorie didn’t respond. Her heart was too heavy, her mind racing. She looked out the window again, lost in the mess of emotions Jake left her tangled in. All she knew was something inside him was slipping, and she was afraid she'd realize it too late.

Behind her, Catty stood and downed the last of her wine. “Whatever’s eating him,” She said coolly, setting the glass down, “let it be, he made his bed, let him sleep on it.”

And with that, she walked out, leaving Lorie alone in a silence that suddenly felt colder than ever.

*****

A week had passed since Lorie's brief conversation with Jake and that argument with Catty. She have been talking sometime on phone with Jake and still feeling something is wrong, the way he talks it's not like he is okay, she is restless, she wants to know what is wrong with him but how will she ask him? She is just telling herself

"He will tell me himself if there is something more, he is just heartbroken, that's it, that's why I feel the difference in him"

And just like that, she kept going on with his duties, distracting herself from chatting with different people, she met a man, Davis... She used to talk to him when she feels down and he asked her to meet and she agreed, so they mate at Lorie's favourite cafe.

Jake held onto Lorie's words like a lifeline, hoping it meant a second chance, eventually. But hope is fragile. Hope can broke your heart very easily

The same afternoon Lorie met Davis, Jake while driving back from his therapist appointment, he pulled up to a small cafe by the street corner, the one Lorie always used to love. He smiled when he spotted her there.

Until he saw someone else sitting across from her.

It was a man. Tall, handsome, laughing with her as if they’d known each other forever. She was smiling too, the kind of smile Jake hadn’t seen on her face in a long time. Not around him.

His heart dropped.

He parked across the street, unable to move. His eyes stayed locked on the way Lorie leaned forward, listening as the man spoke. The way she gently touched his arm when she laughed.

Jake tried to convince himself it was nothing. A friend. A coworker. He doesn't know, but the more he watched, the more it tore into him. It wasn’t just jealousy, it was fear.

Fear that he had truly lost her. That he will not get the chance to make things right with her, he will not get the chance to make her happy the way he wanted. He couldn't stay there, he drove off... Going home, maybe the thought of that picture will evaporate.

He kept thinking, Is this how she felt when she saw the picture? She was just talking to him, just casually, why does it hurt this way? So she felt more pain than this, is this why she can't forget what happened?

But there was no answer to all that.

Later that night, he sat on the edge of his bed, staring blankly at his phone. A hundred drafts of a message to her, all deleted. What could he say? “Who was that guy?”

No. He had no right to ask.