My Puppy Love (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 5 -Moment of Truth

Surprisingly, I slept soundly and peacefully despite the chaos I had yesterday, this is home indeed. When I woke up, it's already 7 PM. I decided to take a bath first before going down. I decided to wear comfortable clothes.

I found my parents talking in the garden having some coffee. They didn't notice my presence yet. I decided not to disturb them first. They looked tired but seems to be having a good time talking about something. Can I really ruin their mood now? Watching them so happy slowly cracked down all the courage I've been building up since I decided to tell them. I shook my head, Whatever will be, will be. I fixed a big smile on my face before approaching them. 

"Dad, Mom!" I called out a bit nervous."My baby!" My mother stood up then came rushing towards me and gave me the warmest hug as if she never saw me for years. Yes, I avoided going home, but my parents visited me in Manila almost every week. I laughed at her reaction.

"Mom, this is not the first time you've seen me for years!" I hugged her back. I also missed her. I savor the moment inside my mom's arms. This is home!

"Hey, you two. Stop being such a drama queen and join me here." My father called out teasing us. I walked side by side with my mom then kissed my dad before settling down on the chair next to my mom.

"We missed you so much here baby!" My mom said emotionally almost teary-eyed. And there again, that little guilt in my heart. 

"I'm so glad that you're finally home. We can finally plan your wedding, what do you think?" My dad said eagerly. His eyes is even shining with excitement maybe. I know how much he dreamt to have a son. To have Alex as his son to be exact. Ever since we're kids, my parents have been so fond of him.

I inhaled sharply. I didn't expect him to say that. I looked at mom and dad's faces. Things are getting out of hand. Now I realized the weight of my lies. Can let them continue believing something that I'm not willing to fulfill? I need to end it now. 

"Dad, Mom, I want to tell you something. I know you will hate me after this, but I need to say this NOW." My heart's pounding so hard out of nervousness. It's not too late to back out, a part of me is telling me but I decided to do it now, I must do it. My father put down his coffee maybe to listen to me carefully. Maybe because they can sense seriousness in my voice.

"You're not sick are you?" My mom said concernedly. I shook my head as an answer. 

"I don't feel so good about this." my dad said with a creased forehead. I wanted to collapse right there but I composed myself. I promised myself that I'll do it.

"I want to break off the engagement." there I finally said it. I said it before I changed my mind.

"What?! Are you crazy Leila Valerie?!" My dad stood up from his seat. While my mom is holding her chest looking so confused. I hold her arm to make sure she's fine. I'm so scared something bad might happen to her. Oh god!

"I thought you love Alex. You're the one who thought about this remember?" my mom uttered still so confused. I held her hand. While my father walked back and forth.

"Mom, I was 9 at that time. I'm a kid. It was puppy love. I don't feel the same way now. Since he left!" My voice is unsteady and trembling. Trying to convince them. Don't you really? I shrugged my inner thought.

"Then why are you telling us just now?! How can you do this to us!" I didn't notice that my father stopped in front of us. Anger is evident on his face. I wasn't able to respond. "I'm asking why Valerie! We've given everything to you. We've loved you more than our lives but how could you do this to us? How could you put our family in such shame! Why?!" my father shouted at me. I closed my eyes. I felt tears building up at the corner of my eyes. My mother stood up stopping my father, maybe to say some more hurtful things. I started crying.

"Fernando please calm down." I heard my mom.

"No! You're the reason why she ended up like this. Doing everything as she pleases. Without even thinking about other people! And now, she's not even willing to explain things to us." dad snapped at mom. I can't take it any longer.

"Because you're like this!" I uttered firmly and broken. My eyes still on the floor.

"What did you say? So we're the problem now! We're not enough, we didn't love you enough, is that it?!" Hurt and disappointment are more visible now on my dad's face. I don't know which is more evident. And it hurts me so much.

"N-no!" I answered with a broken voice while shaking my head. My tears kept streaming down my face.

"Then, what?!" he shouted again.

"Because you're too much! You love me too much. I was too sheltered! You wanted to give me the best things in the world and I understand that, believe me dad, I do. But I also wanted to feel independent, to feel free from doing what I want." Now I am sure that disappointment is more evident on his face. I closed my eyes tightly. I don't know if I can take it much longer.

"That's why you used other people? To get what you want. You used Alex! It's Alex Leila, your childhood friend, our family friend. I had no idea that you're this kind of person now." What shattered my heart is when I noticed tears fell from my dad's eyes. He never ever showed any sign of weakness to us, until now, because of me. It hurts to hear that from the person I wanted to be proud of me. It hurts me more knowing that everything he said was true.

"I'm sorry mom and dad." I tried to touch my father's arm but he walks past me. He was about to get inside the house when he stopped on his track without looking at me. 

 "Alex is a good person. What I know is that his intention for you is genuine. If you have some respect left for us your parents, please do not ruin Alex's passion to serve people as well. Break off the engagement after the election. You just have to wait for two weeks, after that, you may go wherever you want! You may enjoy your freedom. I never thought that you don't trust our love for you enough. Enough to be honest with us." then he continued walking. I cried even harder. I looked at my mom who's crying with me. 

"M-mom." she pulled me closer to give me a hug.

"Hush now. Everything will be fine. Give your dad sometime." She stroked my long hair. We stayed in that position for I don't know how long. I really hope so.

"Why don't you hate me mom?" I finally asked her.

"Because I'm your mother, I'll never hate you. You're the best thing that happened to me." There I saw her love, care, and understanding. Why have I ever doubted their ability to understand me no matter what? My eyes started to water again. I ruined everything!