Little Miss Perfect

Chapter 2

I checked my appearance in the mirror and sighed. I was not pretty. I used to be ordinary, not ugly but not beautiful. Then during the times I was with him, I saw myself looking radiant and somehow...beautiful. He made me beautiful. But these days, my face was pallid with no life, my eyes dull and my hair limp. I turned suddenly to face away from the mirror. If I was with him, maybe I could be beautiful again. No, I can not let myself think of him again. Never. I had a task , to escape Sam's shadows and also his. I made my way to the front door and caught the twins watching TV and Luke sitting with them, deep in thought. He was not speaking to me. It was not surprising.

"Bye," I called. The twins replied back, but Luke just sat there, ignoring me. I pursed my lips and went outside. There was a car parked for me. I was never an expert on cars, but by the look of it, I could predict that it was a brand new model with no imperfections.

"How do you do, Miss Mathews?" asked my parents' chauffeur Victor. The last time I met him was long ago. I flipped through my memory and realized he had driven us to the chapel for Sam's funeral.

"Hey, Victor. Am I meeting them there?" I asked.

"Yup," he replied.

I nodded and sat back. I remembered a long time back, when our parents had last took us out on an outing. We were a family with Mark and Sam. No deaths were held above our heads, terrorizing us every minute.

The car stopped outside a rich looking place, which was not surprising. Victor helped me out, something he never did before. I made my way towards the reception and told the waitress my surname. She smiled very pleasantly and took me towards a table, where two heads were bowed over phones.

"Hello," I said, causing them to jerk their heads up.

"Santana?" said my dad. "Woah, Sandy, you've changed a lot,"

How ironic. That was the kind of things that distant relatives say when they visit during christmas. My mother tried to avoid my eyes. She knew that I hadn't gotten over what she did. I don't think I would, ever.

"Dear," she said. "What would you like to talk to us about? I hope it's important, sweetie, because I had to cancel a meeting with Tracy Chausse"

She said the name with pride, but it did not ring any bells.

A waiter bought us our drinks.

"I want to..." I sighed. "I want to leave"

My dad raised his eyebrows.

"Leave?" he asked, "Where?"

"Anywhere. I can't get over this place, it's too...it's got too much bad memories," I said. I saw my dad's tight feautres shift slightly. He knew partly what I meant. Sam. But he did not know about Connor.

"Well, we can't move, Santana" he said softly. "Our jobs depend on Chicago,"

"I've looked up some boarding schools"

"Well-"he started.

"Ok," said my mum. "You can pick whichever boarding school in any country. As long as you're happy dear. Just send us an e-mail of the paying information, we'll take care of it. Like I said, just as long as you're happy, sweetie,"

That was the way my mum worked. She'll spoil me with anything, only if it involves money. Since the accident, she hoped that somehow I would forgive her for money. During the first few weeks, she bought us gifts, took us to meals and did anything that could be fixed with money. When she finally realized that the damage was done, and that the scars were too deep to be fixed , she started ignoring us. She lost herself into work, hardly ever calling. I could bet that she wasn't even listening to my story. The rest of the meal continued in an awkward tension. My mother pursed her lips when she saw my un manicured nails, untidy eyebrows, and the non-designer clothes I was wearing. At the end of the meal, my dad dropped me off at home, saying that he needed to go to a meeting.

I got home to find my bedroom light on. Luke was standing in there, looking at a picture of the family we once were. The picture was taken by Minnie, the au pair we had a long time ago. We were there as a family. It was taken a week before Sam died.

"Luke?" I called.

He turned around, and I saw that he was crying.

"I miss him," he said. "I can't belive he went. Our little Sammy,"

I hugged him. I felt like crying too. But I never cried over him in front of others.

"I miss us," said Luke.

"Luke," I said. "I'-"

"Don't apologize. I understand," he said. "I know what you want. You want a family of your own. Someone who can love you more than our parents. So did Mark. I know that you think that what used to be our family can't be rescued, but I've got hope. That's why I'm staying, Sandy,"

I sighed and nodded in understanding.

"I'll miss you little sis'. I lost Sam, then Mark and now I'm gonna' lose you too." he said.

"No you won't. I'll always be there in your head, Lukey. I grabbed the picture, and tore off mum and dad.

"They don't want us anymore. It's just us left. We'll always be together, big bro', always."

"Always," he muttered.