Welcome To Quantum Holidays

CHAPTER 12 (PART I): AB ABSURDUM

Jack sat huddled in his time capsule as the other guests prepared to embark on their trip through time. Across the chamber room, he spotted Buckle climbing into his capsule. The journalist smiled and gave him a thumbs up as the Handler closed the lid. Professor Bennett approached Jack.

“All set, Mr. Sinclair?”

“I think so.”

“Great. Well, if you would like to pop yourself down then we can have you on your way to beautiful Rome.”

Jack shuffled so he could lay down flat in the capsule. He stretched out straight and placed his arms at his side. Professor Bennett smiled down at him kindly, winked warmly and gently shut the lid. Laid in the darkness he was unable to hear anything outside the capsule. He waited, unsure of what exactly would come next. With all other sound blocked out, all he could hear was his breathing and the more he noticed it the louder it seemed to get. He remembered Professor Bennett explaining that they were supposed to lose consciousness and he began to worry if the anesthesia should have taken effect by now. He tried to remember how long she had said it would be before it would work. Was it two minutes? Five? Seven? He couldn’t remember. He lifted his hand to check his watch and remembered he had not put it on that morning. Would the watch even work inside a time machine? As he considered this the roof of the capsule began to hum a glowing white light. Jack began to panic. He looked about him for the emergency button, but he struggled to see in the encompassing brightness. He fumbled about blindly with his hands trying to find the button. His mind raced at what would happen to him if the anesthesia did not kick in. Would he go blind? Would he become brain dead? Would he fall into a coma? But as he was fumbling about in the dark he finally began to feel drowsy. With this sleepiness, his anxiety departed, and as he finally lost consciousness he felt lifted.

Jack woke up in his capsule. Above his head was a stone ceiling. He stepped from the capsule onto the marble floor. In the center of the room was a bed which looked more like a lounger. It was covered in a golden quilt and had pillows positioned at either end. The sun shone in from the balcony.

Jack went out into the morning light. The balcony looked out upon a small courtyard. The other guests were gathered down below, all dressed in togas. The birds tweeted in their trees and somewhere someone was pouring water. When Jack turned back to the room there was a man laying out a toga on his bed.

“Morning, Mr. Sinclair. Welcome to Ancient Rome.”

Jack came over to inspect the toga, the man stood watching him.

“When you have changed, please join us in the courtyard.”

Jack nodded in appreciation and the Handler left. He picked the toga up from the bed and held it up. It was a perfect white and it smelled fresh. He turned it back to front and right to left trying to figure out how to put it on. He stripped down to his boxer shorts and attempted to put on the toga the way that looked most logical to him.

On his first attempt, the toga was choked up around his neck like a scarf. He took it off and started again. This time, the cloth hung around his waist and no matter how hard he pulled the toga he could not make it reach his shoulder to hang over. He relented and the sheet fell around his legs and hung like a bath towel.

Exasperated, Jack continued to try and rearrange his toga, but he found he just became more entangled in the robe. He got his foot caught in the bottom of the sheet trying to free his elbow and ended up flat on his face. There was a knock on the door.

“Everything alright in there, Mr. Sinclair?”

Embarrassed, he replied.

“I think I might need a hand putting on my toga.”

The Handler from earlier entered the room again and seeing Jack entangled in the white robe on the marble floor, he did his best not to laugh. He helped Jack to his feet and asked Jack to take off the sheet and he refolded it so it resembled something like a toga again. Holding the robe in both hands he asked Jack to lift up his arms. Jack felt embarrassed and he felt like a boy again getting dressed for school by the maid. The Handler pulled the toga over his hand and adjusted it slightly. He stepped back from Jack and studied his handiwork. After a moment, he nodded satisfactorily.

“There you go, Mr. Sinclair.”

Jack stretched his arms and legs as he got used to his strange attire.

“Thank you very much.”

“No problem, sir.”

The Handler went to leave the room and as he reached the doorway, Jack called out to him.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

The handler turned half around.

“The name’s Guardado. See you downstairs, Mr. Sinclair.”

Emerson left and when Jack was sure he was alone he slipped off his boxer shorts and put them with the rest of his clothes. But standing there feeling the warm breeze blow up his leg he quickly grew self-conscious and fearful of any wardrobe malfunction he put the underpants on again.

The sun shone generously into the small courtyard. He felt its gentle warmth on his face and arms as he sat on a stone bench in the corner. The open space was populated with exotic vibrant plants and small trees. At the heart of the courtyard, a fountain had been mounted upon which mischievous stone creatures danced and played around.

Stood next to the fountain was Mr. Hemsworth with his arms stubbornly folded as his wife fussed over the folds and creases in his toga. There was great chatter amongst the guests as they struggled to contain their excitement. Only the Wangs choose not to indulge in this child-like giddiness. They stood apart from the group in the shade of one particularly large tree looking even more uncomfortable in their togas than Mr. Hemsworth.

Servants passed silently through the group tending to the plants and completing their chores. They kept their heads bowed as they moved and went out of their way to avoid contact with any of the guests. Lambert was stood to one side with one of these servants and appeared to be giving them instructions. Seeing that all the guests had gathered, Lambert finished talking to the servant and turned to address the group.

“Good morning, my fellow Romans. Welcome to 80A.D, where it is the ninth year of the reign of Emperor Titus Flavius Caesar Domitianus Augustus, also known as Domitian.

I trust everybody's journey was pleasant and I hope you found your living quarters agreeable. This villa belongs to Cato Drusus, a nobleman and small landowner, and we will be based here for the duration of our stay.

Anyway, today we will take you on a guided tour of the city where you will be shown all the sites and be given a feel of what Ancient Rome was really like. After a full day of sightseeing, we will return to the villa where you will be treated to the finest local cuisine.

Now, remember what we discussed yesterday at the facility and if you have any questions or problems than speak to one of our Handlers, who can be identified by the purple armband worn on the right arm.”

As he spoke, Lambert gestured to the handlers that had gathered around the edge of the courtyard. They all pointed towards their armbands to clarify what Lambert was saying.

“So, is everybody ready?”

There was a polite murmur of positivity from the group. Lambert turned to the large wooden gate of the courtyard and two of the servants pulled the doors open.

“Let’s go then!”

From the villa, the group made their way to the Forum. Jack was amazed at the people that they passed in the street, dressed in their togas and speaking to each other in Latin. They took no notice of Jack and the others as they went about their business. He found it hard to believe that no one questioned his being there. He thought at any moment they would all realize who he really was. He felt both naked and invisible at the same time.

The Forum was packed with people of all strata of Roman society; from soldier to pleb, nobleman to slave. So packed where the streets that from above the magnitude of mixed togas formed a magnificent multicolored blanket. Not only was the Forum busy, but the crowd seemed to be always moving so Jack and the others had to be vigilant to keep together. Jack was overwhelmed by the alien sounds, smells, and sights. People kept cutting in front and bumping into him and he nearly lost the group on a number of occasions.

They were taken to the Senate house first, or the Curia Julia, as Lambert referred to it. Jack had expected the building to be one of grandeur and importance, but he found the Senate tucked away from the main stretch. It was a tall square building of plain design. The inside of the Curia Julia was mostly colorless except for the floor. Made from red and green porphyry, the tiled floor alternated between rosettes and cornucopias. Upon entering, the guests were drawn to the colorful floor more so than the rest of the room.

The Senate was a quarter full and those who were in attendance sat around lazily, looking disinterested at what the speaker said. He spoke in Latin but Lambert quietly translated what was being said. Apparently, the senator was proposing a review of the price of the levy on traders operating out of the bathhouses. After listening for a few minutes, Jack appreciated why the other senators were so bored.

As the speaker rambled on, Lambert brought the guests attention to an altar at the far end of the Senate. On the altar was the statue of a woman standing upon a globe extending a wreath. Lambert explained it had been placed there by Emperor Augustus to celebrate his own military victory. The woman was Victoria, the personification of victory.

When the speaker had finished, it took several moments for the others to realize. A few members clapped half-heartedly whilst others got up to leave. The Senator stepped down from the stand and shuffled off and took his seat. The group looked on sympathetically.

“Since the emergence of the Emperor, the Senate has seen its significance and purview reduced significantly. Now they debate matters they no longer influence or care about.”

Another Senator rose to speak, an elderly weary man. Lambert gestured towards the exit.

“Come on, let’s go. There is much to see.”

After the Senate, the guests were shown to the Basilica Julia. It was a large building built on a foundation of broad pillars. The Basilica was primarily used as a courthouse and when they arrived a land dispute between two landowners was being discussed. Unlike in the Senate, the debate here was bitter and heated. The two men were shouting angrily at each other from across the courtroom. Spitting as they talked and barely taken a moment to breathe. The rest of the court looked to be exasperated with the men. The guests found this much more entertaining. Again, Lambert translated what was said, occasionally pausing to omit some of the more particularly graphic insults that were exchanged.

Back outside, the sun was now directly overhead. Jack found himself sweating profusely in his toga and he struggled to walk in the sweltering heat. The handlers led the group to the heart of the market and allowed the guests time to do some shopping. The wives lit up gleefully and they rushed to see what the marketers had to offer.

Jack was not interested in doing any shopping and instead went and found shade under a stall. He watched on as the other guests bought various trinkets and clothes. Half an hour or so passed and then Lambert called for the guests to gather. Jack had been slowly dozing off during this break and as he turned from the stall and into the busy street he bumped into an old woman. He knocked a basket of fruit out of her hands and tumbling to the ground. He spoke instinctively.

“Oh, excuse me.”

The woman stared at him suspiciously. He froze when he realized he had spoken in English but before he knew it he had spoken again.”

“Sorry, I mean –”

The woman continued to stare. He tried to remember how to apologize in Latin, but his memory failed him. He seemed to be able to recall every Latin phrase apart from the one he needed. But then the woman gave up waiting. She bent down and picked up her fruit and walked on. He looked around to see if anyone had overheard, but no one had been paying him any attention.

Next, they visited the Regia; the home of the high priest of Rome. The high priest was not there, but they were shown the lances of Mars. Lambert explained the myth of how if the lances trembled then it was considered an omen that something terrible would happen. Lambert retold the story of how they had shaken on the Ides of March, the day that Julius Caesar was murdered.

Moving on from the Regia, the group crossed the Forum to the Temple of Vesta. It was made up of Corinthian columns that stood upon a large circular podium. Inside, the Temple was a large circular room, and in the center stood another statue. Lambert called it the Palladium. It was a statue of a woman who held a spear and a shield and wore a feathered helmet. It's most noticeable feature was that it was made out of wood. Lambert explained that the Palladium was a statue of the Greek goddess Athena and had originally been stolen by Odysseus during the sacking of Troy. The group gathered around closely to see the vaunted statue.

As Lambert spoke of Roman kings, Athena and Minerva, Jack was distracted by the light from another chamber. He found himself drawn to it and when he thought nobody was looking he passed through into this other room.

It was much smaller than the main room. The light that Jack had noticed had been a large flame that burnt in the center and knelt before the fire was a woman. She wore a simple white gown and a matching infula over her head. She had her back to Jack.

The room was quiet and empty. There was just the flame and the girl. Jack looked on from the edges of darkness. The flame flickered but she remained still. Something alerted her to Jack’s presence and she glanced up at him and then looked away again. Her face was young but he could not tell if her expression had been scared or angry. Jack felt ashamed without really knowing why. He heard footsteps approach behind him. It was Lambert. He whispered in Jack’s ear.

“Don’t get any ideas, Mr. Sinclair. A vestal virgin who breaks her vow of chastity is buried alive.”

Lambert laughed like a dirty old man and patted Jack on the shoulder familiarly. Jack shrugged the Scotsman’s hand and joined the rest of the group in the main room.

The group was led up out of the Forum. It was now late in the afternoon and it had grown cool. The sweat on Jack's toga had begun to dry but his feet were sore from walking around in sandals all day.

They followed a curved path that led up a hill. The further they climbed, the larger the villas. When they reached the peak, they found grand sprawling palaces decorating the hilltop.

"This is Palatine Hill, the most famous of the seven hills of Rome. It is the birthplace of the Immortal City, where the she-wolf found and cared for Romulus and Remus. And now it is home to the Emperor and his family.”

The guests looked on in awe at the grandiose structures. They wanted to take a closer look, but Lambert said it would not be possible so they had to admire from afar.

They came back down the hill as the sun was setting. They exited the Forum and headed back towards the villa. On the way back they walked along the Coliseum. Jack craned his neck to take in the ancient stadia. The magnificent arches stretched up vertically and curved round horizontally out of sight. Jack did not take his eyes off the Coliseum all the walk home until it had fallen from view.