Revolution: Genesis

The Outlooks: Lose

“What temptation?” I meekly asked. As each second passed, I was beginning to get filled with more questions and was quite sure that I was starting to have a headache. Rigel gazed at me with a calculating look once again, and it made me feel somewhat self-conscious. Inner demons never really did die.

Starting to wonder if there was something on my face, or if I looked funny to him, I was about to check; but then I snapped myself out of it and raised my eyebrows, gesturing my impatience about the matter. Luckily he caught the sign.

“Right, yes, you are still unaware.” He exhaled a deep breath and came forward to stand right by my side.

“Walk with me.” He said, and obediently I turned as we started. My eyes flickered back towards where I saw the mark, but to my minor disappointment, the mark was hidden under the hollow sleeve of his robe.

“I gather you know by now this isn’t your real world?” He asked after a moment of thinking to which I nodded, replying with a ‘yes’.

“I figured I’m in a dream, but I can’t seem to wake up from it. Why is that?” I inquired finally with a steady heartbeat and even breathing. I was amazed at how it did wonders to know you weren’t alone. It was just proven to me.

“If we’re speaking in literal terms, then this isn’t a dream; it’s a place created to give you outlooks.” He answered, earning another look from me. Outlooks? Of what? But before I could say anything, he continued.

“It’s a place formed through your super consciousness—”

“Wait, wait, did you say super consciousness?” Raising my eyebrows, I peered into his face for a hint of laughter or mischievousness but couldn’t find any. He was serious about this.

“I only know about two of the things that relate to the consciousness of a human brain, and they don’t include this… this thing you are talking about,” I muttered, admitting it. I’d obviously like to know, but not knowing wasn’t doing any damage so… Besides, it seemed completely absurd.

“Of course but, there is a third ‘thing’ as well.” He replied, air quoting my label. Pursing my lips, I turned my face towards him in question to what he meant. After a beat, he answered.

“Well, it’s rare, which is why not many know of it. However, even when you do know about it, the rarest part comes in when you try to activate it. Not all can do that. It takes skill, complete focus, and well, a perfect routine, but in a simpler term, one could say pure meditation in one’s life.” He craned his neck and grinned, which felt very creepy. To say I was confused would be an understatement.

So it was rare and needed things for it to happen that weren’t done by everyone, but somehow, I just created a place from that exact thing. I could be called delusional or in denial but in no way was I accepting all this. There had to be some other explanation!

“I know you may not believe it to be true, and I wish to present you with some other rationale, but I’m afraid I can’t.” I noticed a pinch of guilt in his voice while he said that as though it was with great regret. On the other hand, I realized that we were almost in the middle of the next street that was, I believed, the vertically opposite of the one I was just in.

I narrowed my eyes, wondering if I would find something again, and momentarily I did. I thought about how it was the same shine I saw before the vision, just as another question sprang in my mind, and before I could process it, I blurted it out.

“So what is this shine I see? Is it used to transport me to some alternate universe?” I asked as I looked over at him and blushed as I got aware of how silly my question would’ve seemed. The faint curve of his lips that flickered indicated how hard he was trying not to grin at me.

“Never mind—” I started, but he cut me off.

“No, it’s alright. You don’t have to shy away. It is what I’m here for anyway.” I closed my eyes, breathing deep as I waited for his answer, and hoped that my embarrassment was going to be forgotten.

“The shine you see definitely transports you, but not to an alternate universe. Instead, it transports you to a near future according to your choices. As I said, this place is to give you outlooks. You will encounter a book, and that is when your test will start. If you pass, the vision you just saw will come true.” He said, looking at me straight in the eye as I frowned, somehow feeling like a puzzle piece was found for a big jigsaw that had formed in my brain.

Rose had also mentioned that but…

“What happens if I fail?” I asked, dreading the answer. It wasn’t that I was afraid of failing; it was the price of it that I was afraid of paying.

I saw Rigel clench his jaw for a moment. A hard look passed on his features before he went back to creepily grinning at me and urged me to walk towards the shine, obviously avoiding the question. I took a deep breath and confidently stepped towards it, thinking that maybe I’ll get my answer later before going in.

This time, I felt how the changes occurred from one atmosphere to the other, as though I was passing through some invisible wall. I felt how my body created this hollow between the shine and entered into the perspective as if walking through a thin curtain that was physical yet transparent at the same time. I saw how the daylight of the crossroads turned in the dim light of the candle in… my living room! I was in my home! I wanted to call out for my mother because I was home after an exhausting experience. But then I remembered how in these outlooks, I wasn’t heard or seen. The smile that had formed on my face vanished as I hunched my shoulders in exhaustion.

Being alone sucked.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” My ears perked like that of a fox’s while my stomach dropped hearing my mom’s cracked voice coming from inside my bedroom. Cautiously, I walked in to see myself lying on the bed straight, like how Snow White laid in her glass coffin. I sucked in a sharp breath, seeing the tears in my mother’s eyes as she held my hand tightly.

“Am I…?” I whispered, furrowing my eyebrows as I reached the edge of the bed, facing my still self.

“No, you’re not dead.” A voice interrupted my thoughts as I jolted in fright. Looking behind, I saw Rigel standing there with his arms crossed against his chest as he looked past me to my lying figure.

“You have to stop doing that!” I whisper-yelled, irritated because of his idea to pop in behind me without a word. A kind and apologetic smile settled on his face. Turning back towards the still Azura, easiness washed over me because now I had someone to describe my thoughts to, even when it was insanely creepy.

“If I’m not dead, why is my mother crying that way?” I asked, loud enough for Rigel to hear, yet careful not to disturb the other two even though I knew they couldn’t hear me. What he said next knocked the breath out of me even when I knew it wasn’t real.

“You’re in a coma.”

I was stunned for a good few minutes before I realized that someone hadn’t appeared ever since I got here.

“Where’s Max?” My throat hurt when I spoke. It killed me to see the state my mother was in. I couldn’t do that to her. I wanted my still figure to get up so that mom wouldn’t have to be alone. But it wasn’t like I was her only child. My brother, he should’ve been by her side.

“Why isn’t Max here?” My voice got caught in my throat, unable to stop my emotions from overcoming me. I couldn’t see her this way.

“He can be here if you want him to be here. But since he isn’t…” He said, lightly shaking his head, leaving his statement hanging and making me frown. Why wouldn’t I want Max to be here? He was my brother. Of course, I’d want him here. But he would be crushed to see me, to see mom in this condition. I thought as my eyes darted around the foot of the bed. I didn’t think I could handle his distraught state. It was actually better if he wasn’t here.

Taking a deep breath, I looked back at the scene unfolding in front of me, but I was distracted by a question Rigel asked.

“I gather now you understand why Max isn’t present?”

Grimly nodding, I saw how my mother took out a book from the bedside drawer and held it up delicately in her hands as if holding an infant. Raising my eyebrows at her action, I scrutinized and took an urgent step back when she said something.

“You’re the guide. You have to show me a way to help her. She will fight you, but right now, you have to help me wake her up!” She pleaded. Abruptly I turned my neck towards Rigel, gazing at him for the answer to an unasked question that roamed my mind. Was she talking to him? He said he was the guide. And how could she even see him? Did this mean she could see me too?

A sudden excitement reverberated inside me as I eagerly stepped towards him, pressing for an answer, but he quietly burst my bubble when he shook his head and pointed at the book in my mother’s hand.

“She’s talking to the book, not me.” He whispered as my mother kept pleading for help. Feeling defeated, I turned back towards the other two and quietly watched what happened.

My eyebrows shot up as the book in my mother’s hands slammed itself on the bedside table, opening towards a page in the middle of the book. This was definitely weird.

My mother peered into the book and read something which somehow made her pale face look more alive. Immediately, she stood up and dashed out of the room, mumbling about where everyone would be. Looking at her retreating figure in utter surprise, I tried to see what the book had mentioned, but all I saw was a blank page.

“I don’t see anything on this. Why can’t I see what my mother just read?” I inquired aloud for Rigel to hear me. In a second, he replied.

“That is because you haven’t encountered the book yet. Come, we must leave for you to see other outlooks. We don’t have much time.” I heard him say as I craned my neck to see his back turned on me.

It was then that I realized that one thing was clear. However absurd it may seem, I had to know the whole story now, or I wouldn’t be able to process all this. Therefore, I waited for this to clear so that I could bombard the questions on Rigel. If he was my guide in this, he would have answers.

I was about to follow him to go back to the crossroads, but a firm grip on my arm brought me to a halt. Jerking my head, I gasped, seeing my still-self holding me in place with just one hand. Her eyes seemed enlarged, and her lips parched and purple. She opened her mouth and said something in a hoarse voice which I couldn’t catch.

“What?” I asked, trembling. Rigel said no one could touch us or talk to us.

“Don’t… use it… Stop… if possible…” She croaked out as everything started to stretch away again.

“What should I stop? And what shouldn’t I use?” I frantically screamed as everything seemed to slither out of my grasp. I wanted to go to Rigel, but she hadn’t let go of me yet. However, just before it swirled away, I heard her as her hand slipped from my arm.

“The… book.”