Eiji is Online

Chapter 5

Eiji was lying on his bed, the room dimly lit by the blue glow of his PC’s screen. He shifted under the covers, adjusting the pillow behind his head as he waited for the familiar chime of an incoming Discord call. A second later, his screen lit up with Jamie’s username, and he quickly hit “Accept.”

“Hey, sis,” Jamie’s voice came through, slightly muffled as if he were speaking into his pillow. “You sound half-asleep. What’s up?”

Eiji let out a small chuckle, settling back against his headboard. “Not much, just winding down. Thought I’d catch up with you before crashing. How’s your night?”

“Eh, same old, same old,” Jamie replied. “But I haven’t heard much from you lately. You’ve been busy with that ‘friend’ of yours?” His tone turned teasing and Eiji could practically hear the smirk behind Jamie’s words.

Eiji rolled his eyes, even though he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “If you’re talking about Zane, then yeah, we’ve been gaming a lot. It’s just easy, you know? Like, we’ve got this rhythm.”

“Uh-huh. This rhythm,’” Jamie mimicked in a sing-song voice. “Come on, sis. What’s really going on? You don’t sound like you’re just talking about some random guy online anymore.”

Eiji hesitated slightly. He hadn’t really thought about it too deeply before—at least, that’s what he told himself. But now, it all felt a little too real.

“Well, we’ve just gotten close, I guess?” Eiji started slowly, choosing his words carefully. “Like, we talk pretty much every day now. Even when we’re not playing, we just chat about stuff. He’s just really easy to talk to.”

Jamie made a small hum like he was processing that. “Okay but I know you’ve had online friends before, right? What makes this one different?”

Eiji bit his lip, staring up at the ceiling. He thought about the way Zane’s voice seemed to lighten whenever they joked around, how he looked forward to those messages and calls. And then there was that picture of Zane’s face, that smile that had knocked him off balance. He hadn’t been able to forget it.

“I don’t know, Jamie,” Eiji admitted quietly. “It’s just I don’t know why it feels different. It just does.”

Jamie’s voice softened, losing its usual teasing edge. “You think you might like him? Like, more than just a friend?”

Eiji froze. He tried to form an answer but the words caught in his throat. He thought about the way his heart had skipped a beat when he saw Zane’s face, what he felt during their late-night conversations. But at the same time, there was this tightness in his chest, this sense that it was all moving too fast. Faster than he knew how to handle.

“I actually don’t know,” Eiji finally managed, his voice barely a whisper. “It’s confusing. Like, I barely know him. It’s not like I’ve felt this way before. But maybe I’m just overthinking things?”

Jamie sighed and Eiji could hear the shift of fabric as Jamie adjusted on his bed. “Look, Eiji, I get it. You know I’ve been there—falling for guys who I thought might be into me, only to find out they were straight or just not interested like that. It sucks. But like, before you even try to figure out if you like Zane that way, maybe you need to figure out if you’re really into him. Otherwise, you’re gonna end up getting hurt.”

Eiji chewed on his bottom lip. He knew Jamie spoke from experience and he knew Jamie had sworn he wouldn’t make that mistake again. And here Eiji was, stumbling into similar confusion.

“I just don't know how to figure that out,” Eiji admitted, his voice cracking a little. “I mean, I’ve never thought about it before. I always thought… well, I never really thought about it at all.”

“It’s not something you have to decide already, Eiji,” Jamie replied gently. “But you gotta be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling. If Zane makes you feel something, don’t ignore it just because it’s new. But also don’t rush into anything. Take your time because it’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right away.”

Eiji took a deep breath, feeling a mix of relief and frustration at Jamie’s words. “Yeah yeah, maybe you’re right. I just don't want to mess things up, you know?”

Jamie chuckled softly. “You’re overthinking, sis. Just let things happen and they’ll happen eventually.”

Eiji smiled faintly, a warmth blooming in his chest. “Alright, I’ll take up on your advice.”

Before Jamie could reply, a new notification popped up on Eiji’s screen, the familiar chime of an incoming call. It was Zane. Eiji’s stomach twisted with a sudden surge of nerves, and he sat up a little straighter, glancing at the screen.

“Hold on, Jamie, it’s Zane. He’s calling me.”

Jamie hummed knowingly, a teasing lilt back in his voice. “Oh wow, I see how it is. Just don’t forget about your old friends when you’re chatting up your new ones, alright?”

Eiji rolled his eyes, but there was a smile in his voice. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll catch you later, okay?”

“Go get ’em, sister,” Jamie shot back before hanging up, leaving Eiji alone with the ringing call from Zane. He took a deep breath, steadying himself before he clicked the button to accept.

“Hey, Zane,” Eiji greeted, trying to sound normal, but he picked up on something immediately—Zane’s usual lighthearted tone was missing. Instead, his voice came through low, almost curt.

“Hey. You busy?”

Eiji frowned, adjusting his headset. “Uh, no, not really. What’s up? You okay?”

There was a brief pause, and Eiji heard Zane exhale, like he was trying to decide what to say. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just wanted to see if you wanted to play something.”

The words were casual but there was a tightness to Zane’s voice that Eiji couldn’t ignore. He hesitated, feeling a knot form in his chest. “Sure, we can play. But are you really alright? You sound kinda different.”

Zane let out a low, frustrated sound. “I’m fine, Eiji. Just had a long day. Don’t worry about it.”

But Eiji couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. The way Zane’s voice sounded. It was like he was holding back. Like there was something he didn’t want to talk about. He wanted to press, to ask what had happened, but he could hear Jamie’s words in his head: Don’t rush into anything.

“Okay,” Eiji said slowly, though the concern still lingered in his voice. “If you need to talk or anything, just hit me up.”

“Yeah, I know,” Zane replied, softer this time, and for a moment, the tension in his voice seemed to ease. “Thanks, Eiji.”

They loaded into a game, the sounds filling the space between them. However, Eiji’s mind kept drifting. He was glancing at the little icon of Zane’s voice lighting up on the screen, wondering what was behind that strained tone, wondering if he’d pushed too hard or if something had happened that Zane wasn’t ready to share.

And beneath it all was that question he still couldn’t fully answer: why does he care so much?