Love & Loss

Jumping Head First

The day consisted of adapting into the new house, the new pack, the new relationship. Everything had changed. After unpacking Willow realized she was Luna and that came with certain responsibilities. Of course, homely things such as cooking and cleaning would be the majority of it. Which she had no doubt she could handle. While Willow had unpacked James had taken most the pack out to hunt and train, leaving her with Vince. The only non-related guy that lived in the house, James' best friend of years apparently. He trusted him with everything, enough to watch over the new Luna. Willow resented the fact he thought she needed to be babysat.

"So, whatcha making?" Vince asked while wandering into the kitchen. He was a good guy from what Willow could see, un-mated and in his twenties, but a good honest guy.

"Tonight I'm making some steak, sweet potatoes, corn and some apple pie for dessert." Willow answered with her back to him as she checked the steak. Vince groaned.

"Sounds heavenly. We haven't had a decent cook around here in years." Vince said as he moved to look out of the side door.

"Well, lucky for you I'm here then." Willow smiled and he returned it.

"I like you, I wasn't so sure I'd like whatever mate James would come across. I'm glad you're...you." Vince said genuiley making Willow blush.

"Well, thankyou. I appreciate that."

"And don't listen to the others, they can just be jerks sometimes that's all. Once they get some good food I'm sure they'll have less to say." They both laughed just as the back door opened and James led the rest of the pack into the house. Fortunately, not naked. James showed off his bare torse, just wearing a pair of boy shorts. They were all filthy but looked happy.

"Hey, you made dinner? You didn't have to do that." James approached her surprised.

"Hey, hey speak for yourself. Some of us are still growing here," Lucas snapped and smiled brightly at Willow before heading upstairs.

"I'm the Luna, remember?" Willow asked and James smiled, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her closer against his warm sweaty body that was covered in dirt. She didn't mind one bit.

"Get a room already." Mark muttered over his shoulder while heading to the stairs. They ignored him for the most part.

"I think we will, won't we? After dinner?" James murmured, licking at her red marking on her neck. Willow wanted to melt right there.

"Yes," Was all she could manage murmuring causing him to chuckle as he pulled away leaving her wanting more.

"Better get a shower in then, huh?" James asked heading for the stairs.

"Dinner's in 20!" Willow called loud enough for everyone to hear no matter where they were in the house. Perks of not being fully human. It was a good thing they had such a big kitchen as well as a big table. Willow couldn't imagine trying to feed this pack in a normal sized kitchen. It'd be chaos. Cooking for a pack of wolves was very different than just cooking for Connie and Jack. She needed WAY more food, for one. Twenty minutes later Willow had the table set, each plate already served helpings but there was more on the counter where the dessert was. One pie was obviously not enough so she'd made four. Better to have leftovers than not enough. Everyone was on time for dinner and looked impressed as they sat down, even Mark. Willow poured herself some iced tea as everyone began to eat. She could feel James' eyes on her as she took the cool whip out of the fridge for the pie.

"Come sit," James said from behind her at the fridge. She hadn't heard him get up. Then again there was a lot of noise in the kitchen.

"I can wait. It's fine-" Willow began but James stopped her, linking his fingers with hers leading her back to the table.

"In our pack everyone eats together as a family, everyone." James explained as Vince brought in another chair sliding it next to James for her to sit.

"Thankyou," Willow said to Vince and began to fill her plate. She hadn't eaten all day she'd been starving. But in her old pack the women and children didn't eat until after the men. Never. Willow listened as the pack talked and argued and laughed. It felt good to be part of a pack again. A family that knew who and what she was. At the end of the night all of the food was gone with everyone full to the brim, and there was one pie leftover that Willow wrapped and put in the fridge. She was sure someone would wander down and eat it in the night, it wouldn't make it until the morning. Everyone scattered and the house was quiet once again. James had to have a meeting with the Alpha from the Crescent pack and when he got back Willow was just about done cleaning up. She'd put the last away from the dishwasher and was rinsing the sink out when James slid his arms around her waist from behind. She'd smelt him this time.

"I want you," James breathed heavily into her ear, sliding one hand beneathe her shorts and into her wetness. Of course he'd smelt it as soon as he got into the house, which meant others could as well. Still, he yearned to touch it. Taste it.

"So take me." Willow murmured against his touch, needing more. He growled at how her body responded to him, unable to control himself.

"Gladly." James easily ripped away her shorts and bent her over the sink, a hand sliding down the arch of her back as he entered her. He wasn't so gentle this time as he slammed into her with force, quickly. Willow moaned louder than ever and he covered her mouth with his hand that she bit making him chuckle as he gripped her hair to pull her back toward him. Her back arched even more and he felt her shake underneathe him as she came driving him over the edge completely. He gripped both of her hips as he came and she rolled her hips driving him crazy. He was still inside her and hard after cumming. He wasn't finished.

A few mornings later Willow awoke before James to cook breakfast. As she did so she decided it was time to make some phone calls. The house was still quiet with the guys asleep, so she dialed Maggie.

"Do you know how early it is?" Maggie muttered through the phone making Willow smile happy to hear her friend again.

"Yes, I do. Listen I wanted to talk to you about the other night.." Willow began while cracking more eggs for breakfast.

"Oh, don't worry about it. Connie told me you moved in with Mark's brother, James? Where did that come from?" Maggie questioned.

"Well, it happened pretty quickly." They both laughed. "I just don't want you to think I ever had any feelings for Seth in that way."

"I know now that you dont, but he definitley does." Maggie sighed.

"Yeah..he tried to kiss me at the party but I found James..." Willow tried to explain.

"I get it. I'm moving on anyway. But, when will I see you?"

"Hmm.. you want to do a movie tonight?"

"Sure! I could bring Paul and you could bring James!" Maggie squealed with excitement on the other end of the phone.

"Well, I'll see..." Willow finished setting the table when James walked into the kitchen. Shirtless and beautiful. He smiled toward the table but looked at her curiously on the phone so early. "I'll let you know later, text me." And with that Willow hung up feeling James' eyes on her as she came closer to pour another cup of coffee.

"How many of you had so far?" James asked looking at the cup of coffee with a worried expression.

"This would be my third. Why?" Willow asked and took a sip.

"Well, it's not so good for pups now, is it?" James smiled and Willow almost lost the coffee through her nose.

"What pups?" Willow asked trying to compose herself. James came closer until she was backed against the counter, either arm on both sides of her.

"Ours." James said easily waiting for her response.

"There are no...I'm on birth control." Willow explained but as she said it she felt as if she were admitting to a crime. James' face fell.

"But, why? You were a virgin and now.." James's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I don't want any until I'm ready, that's all. It's not a big deal." Willow insisted with a shrug as she placed more butter onto the table.

"No big deal? The whole point of the Luna is to..." James realized what was being said and stopped, his eyes cautiously looking at Willow who had frozen in place near the table as she stared at him in silence. Her silence was scarier to him than any other reaction yet. "I didn't mean...." James began and stepped toward her. Willow blinked a couple times quickly before smiling small and moving around him.

"Maggie wanted to go to the movies tonight, so that's where I'll be." Willow said easily.

"I'll come," James said and turned to face her.

"You were invited, but don't feel obligated. I know that's not a priority when it comes to the Luna." Willow said quietly and headed upstairs wanting to crawl into a hole and cry. How could he say that to her? Is that really all she was? Something to f**k and breed with. She'd changed everything for that? What had she done? Willow heard the guys eating downstairs as she stepped into the shower. There was a bathroom connected to their bedroom which was very convenient. The hot water stung her skin but she welcomed it as she pressed her forehead against the shower wall. She smelt him before she saw or heard him. She hated how much she was attracted to him. The shower door opened and James stepped in, naked. She didn't turn to him.

"I'll make an appointment asap." Willow said.

"For?" James asked.

"To get the birth control removed." Willow couldn't wait to bear James' children. But, to be asked like that? To do it only out of obligation. Those are the very reasons she wanted nothing to do with a pack again.

"Willow," James said and reached for her, turning her toward him. He hated how much pain she was in. He hated that he caused it. She fought not to show it in her expression and she wasn't crying, but he read it in her eyes. "I want you to bear my pups, but if you're not ready..."

"I'll play my part, Alpha." Willow interrupted. Calling him by his status stung. She had never done that, not even when they'd found eachother. James was stuck and shocked as she got out of the shower and dissapeared out of the bathroom.

Hours later Willow had been able to get an appointment for the same day. Maggie and Seth said they'd go with her. She was tying on her converse in the bedroom when James appeared in the doorway. She didn't look up.

"Where are you going?" James questioned.

"I'll be back, it wont be long." Willow sighed and stood from the bed. When she tried to leave the bedroom he blocked her. She backed up a step, her eyes avoiding his. "I'm going to the doctor to get the birth control removed."

"I'll go with you." James said and began to get dressed.

"No. I'm going with friends. Like I said, I won't be long." Willow said and left him alone in the bedroom hurt and pissed off. Maggie's car was waiting outside against the curb and she hurried outside before James decided to stop her. Seth was in the passenger seat and she climbed into the backseat before Maggie took off.

"Well, look who it is." Maggie giggled and whistled. "So, now you've got a boyfriend you're getting this taken out? Isn't this when you need it?"

"Yeah, well things change." Willow muttered and felt Seth's eyes on her.

"He doesn't really want a kid already, does he?" Seth asked incrediously earning a slap on the arm from Maggie.

"That is so rude, Seth!" Maggie frowned.

"I don't want to talk about it." Willow sighed and felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. A text from James.

James: I'll meet you there.

Dammit. The ride to the doctor was only minutes away. How would James even know what doctor to go to? What is he, a spy? Maggie parked and Willow bit her lip seeing James' truck pull in a few spots away.

"You guys don't have to stay, but thanks for the ride." Willow insisted. Seth frowned and then spotted James' truck. As usual Maggie was completely oblivious.

"You're scared of him." Seth observed.

"I am not scared of him." Willow snapped and opened the car door, slamming it shut behind her before she headed for the building. She heard two car doors shut behind hers. She was willing to bet it wasn't Maggie's, but she didn't turn around. She walked into the office, signed in and sat against the far wall. Atleast it wasn't crowded. James walked in first, directly to Willow and took a seat on her left.

"What are you doing here?" Willow asked.

"You're mine, I'm not letting you go alone." James explained with a shrug.

"Let me," Willow scoffed. "And I'm not alone." She muttered as Seth moved quickly in their direction. James's jaw clenched tightly and his breathing changed.

"If you don't want him here..." Seth began to say and then stopped as he saw a part of the marking on her neck. He then saw it on James' as well. "What did you do to her?"

"He didn't do anything to me, Seth.."Willow stood up between them not wanting Seth to get hurt. Not for her.

"Yeah, right. Have you seen your neck?" He asked in disgust, never looking away from James who sat in the chair. Looking somewhat amused but Willow knew it would only take a second for that to change and for Seth to be really hurt.

"Yes, I asked him to do it. And I did the one on his, ok?" Willow sighed and sat back down tired and exhausted. Seth stared at James before shaking his head and leaving, James look at Willow worried.

"You don't feel well." James stated and felt her forehead, it felt fine.

"Mrs. Turner?" A nurse came out and called. They both rose and followed the nurse. Willow didn't even have the energy to argue it. She just wanted a raw steak and a nap. The woman led them into a small room with one of those doctors seats that had the foot straps. "We'll need a sample from you, the bathroom is right across the hall. Just leave it in there." The nurse smiled and dissapeared.

"Do you need something?" James asked sincerely. Wanting to help or make his mate feel better in some way. That's just the mate pull. There was no fighting it once you've been marked.

"No," Willow murmured and crossed the hall to the bathroom where she locked the door. She should've eaten breakfast, something she thought as she sat and peed into the small cup. Once finished Willow left the cup on the small stand and washed her hands before crossing the hall back to James in the other room. He hadn't moved. Standing and waiting for her. She suddenly felt guilty. "I'm sorry for earlier and how I've been all day since." Willow apologized and stepped closer letting him wrap his arms around her.

"Ancient history, babe." James smiled with his chin resting on her head.

"Babe, huh?" She asked and he could tell she was smiling without even seeing it. "I like it." Willow leaned up to face him and pulled him in for a long kiss, warm and reassuring.

"We'll go at your pace, okay?" James murmured and Willow smiled again.

"I can't wait to have your pups. When it happens, it happens." Willow ran her thumb across James' bottom lip and pressed their foreheads together.

"We've got time." James teased making Willow laugh. Just then the door opened and the same nurse came back in with an odd expression. They both stiffened.

"Mrs. Turner, can I speak to you alone?" She asked.

"You can say it now," Willow nodded and slid her fingers through James'.

"Well, Mrs. Turner, it appears you're already pregnant. I'm not quite sure how...this medication is over 99% effective... removed....sonogram...." The nurse kept talking but Willow couldn't get past the first few words. Pregnant? How...already? After talking for a few minutes with James asking a few questions and Willow staring into space, the nurse left.

"I'm....I'm pregnant." Willow whispered with James beside her, rubbing her back gently. He'd been worried she was going to faint the last ten minutes. Atleast she could still form words.

"Yes, they will remove the birth control and then give you a sonogram." James told her and Willow looked at him with panick. "Nothing out of the ordinary will show. You'll carry just like every other human." Relief washed over her face and then the doctor came in. It only took minutes to remove the birth control that was implanted into her cervix. Relatively painless. James glared at the male doctor the entire time he was between her legs. Afterwards, the doctor smiled.

"The ultrasound tech will be in within a few minutes." The doctor said and was gone. Once the door was closed Willow slid off the uncomfortable chair and back into her pants, placing one of the pads inside her underwear. Which she turned away from James to do. Although it didn't hurt much, there was some spotting.

"From now on, only females between the legs." James said firmly and Willow knew there was no debating that, so she didn't. She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"You got it, babe." Willow whispered and James smiled. It seemed like an eternity before the ultrasound tech came. There was only one seat to sit in, so James sat and pulled Willow into his lap. His jaw clenched everytime her stomache growled. He let out a breath once the tech came in, wheeling some computer looking thing with him.

"We've been waiting for you nearly fourty minutes." James informed the guy who seemed like he just wanted to run at the sight of Willow's angry mate. Willow ignored them and layed back down in the chair, pulling her shirt up to reveal her bare stomache. She already knew James wasn't happy about another male touching her.

"I'm sorry, miss but I'll need you to unbotton your jeans and lower them." The tech said quietly, nervously. James opened his mouth to say something and stopped with a warning look from Willow. She did as the tech wished and sat back, looking at the monitor. James got on the other side of her so he could see as well, linking their fingers together. Once the tech was done applying the goo to her abdomen he began playing with the computer. James and Willow had no idea what they were looking at. "Oh, dear..." The tech whispered low. Before they could ask what was wrong he was moving for the door. "I'll be right back, I'll need my supervisor."

"We should go." Willow sat up quickly. "What if it shows.."

"It won't, we need to know what's going on." James insisted gently rubbing his hand back down her back, making her relax. They didn't have to wait long this time. Seconds later two more doctors came in, three altogether. Willow guessed the older man with the frizzy gray hair was the supervisor. He pulled on his glasses and also began playing with the mouse on the computer, clicking repeatedly.

"Excuse me? Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?" Willow snapped. Hungry and tired of waiting, James' mate had no more patience left. The old man's face fell and he looked back at the couple, folding his glasses and putting them into his pocket.

"It seems, young lady, that you are carrying quintuplets. There are five fetuses growing in your womb right now. A labor with so many that is not likely survivable for all the fetuses as well as the mother. In most cases, the mother will determine how many to terminate and how many to keep. You can either decide today and we can continue the terminations now or you can take some time to decide, but I wouldn't wait too long." The doctor explained. James' jaw clenched tight and he took a step toward the group of nurses and doctor. Willow was up before him, wiping the goo off of her abdomen.

"If you think for one second I'm going to sit here and choose how many babies of mine you will kill, you've lost your f*****g mind. Thanks for your time, I wont be needing your services any longer." Willow said sternly, gripping James' hand as they left the room. Her hands were shaking, her stomache growling, and she wanted to rip that doctor's head clean off. Five pups? How....that's a lot but nobody was going to take even one away from her. Not one. The wind felt cool against Willow's skin once they got outside and she took a deep breath.

"Thankfully, I know a great midwife." James smiled as they got into the truck. She was carrying five of his pups. The family he'd been waiting for. Willow looked pale as she buckled her seatbelt and leaned against the window. "Time to get you some food." James drove to the store and kissed her forehead before hopping out. "I'll be right back." Willow nodded and closed her eyes. It only felt like seconds before James was back in the truck with lots of grocery bags, the smell of raw meat filling the air. Normally Willow wasn't much for rare, medium rare was more her style. But with pregnancy comes the cravings and well she was part wolf. Willow tore through one of the bags and the packaging until she was gripping a raw steak, biting hungrily at it. As if she hadn't eaten in days when really it was just last night. They will need a whole lot more meat for this pregnancy. James smiled and drove as his mate fed on the meat. By the time they reached their house there was only one bag left. He looked at all the empty plastic bags, the raw blood covering his mate's fingers and mouth, and he pulled her closer into a long kiss. One of his hands rested on her stomache as their tongues danced and he could smell the arousal between her legs. She blushed as they parted.

"I can't help it." Willow mumbled and he chuckled grabbing the last bag as he got out of the truck. The pack was going to lose it when they heard the news. He'd have to call over to the Crescent pack tomorrow to call for Helena. Fortunately for them, the pack wasn't far, maybe an hour. So it wouldn't be a hassle to get to the midwife. As the two walked into the house they saw a couple of the guys in the living room playing xbox. Mark, Lucas, and Vince stared at Willow as the game was paused.

"What's going on?" Mark questioned and moved closer.

"We're going to have a pack meeting in 10. Tell the others." James ordered and as they neared the stairs Willow saw Vince smile knowingly. Once in the bedroom Willow stripped off her clothes and tossed them into the hamper, heading for their bathroom to wash up. Her face was clean and she was scrubbing her hands when James pressed against her from behind. She had to struggle to contain her moan as his hardness slid between her legs and against her wetness. "I can't help it either." James murmured and kissed along Willow's back as he slid inside of her. Filling her completely. Willow's eyes closed as her mate moved slowly in and out of her, teasingly. She arched her back more and pressed harder against him causing him to chuckle.

"We have a pack meeting," Willow whispered and frowned when James left her, stepping away and moving toward his closet.

"You're right, we're also going out to dinner. "James smiled coyly as he pulled a suit from his closet. She rolled her eyes.

"I have to wear a dress." Willow groaned and moved to the closet. James laughed.

"You don't, just be you." James shrugged while straightening out his tie. Willow rolled her eyes again at that as she chose a red satin top with some tight black pants. James watched her dress, wanting to take her again, and smiled as she tied on her converse with the outfit. He did say for her to be herself. Instead of trying to style her hair any sort of way, Willow quickly braided her hair into a neat side braid. "Beautiful," James murmured into her ear as they headed for the stairs.

"You look good, as usual." Willow mumbled in her own sort of compliment. James grinned taking her hand and leading her to the back yard. That's where all the pack meetings were held. The pack was waiting, dressed for dinner, patiently in the grass facing them. It would take Willow some time getting used to that's for sure.

"Thankyou, everyone for being here and on time. And for dressing appropriately of course...." James began and was quickly interrupted.

"Don't you think our Luna should do the same?" Mark snorted. This time there was no hesitance, there were no warnings. In half a second James was across the yard knocking Mark off his feet and onto his back. He looked down at his younger brother with disgust.

"You will stop disrespecting my mate and our Luna, at once. That is an order. Do you understand me?" James spoke coldly and slow for everyone to hear every word. His tone caused Willow to shiver.

"Yes, my Alpha." Mark agreed and took his place back near the pack, avoiding anyone's eyes.

"As I was saying...I appreciate everyone's willingness to adapt to all the changes. And there are more to come." James smiled toward Willow. "Our Luna is carrying five of my pups, our pack will be having some new additions very soon." As the announcement was made there were cheers, claps and some frowns as well. Vince's reaction was the most unexpected.

"Five?" Vince frowned and looked from James to Willow with sympathetic eyes.

"Yes, five. We all know any terms that carry more than three are dangerous, especially for our kind. But we will not abandon our pups. We will take care of our Luna the best we can and make sure she is always healthy and always safe. Always. And that will mean more meat. Right now she can hunt on her own just fine. We will need help hunting more as time goes on. But I have faith in this pack. We are a family." James looked out to the pack with sincerity as they cheered and he took a pause before smiling. "Now, let's go get some dinner, shall we?" James asked and everyone scattered moving for their cars. Vince approached the couple. "I know. We will talk later." James looked at his best friend with a knowing nod that Vince returned before smiling small at Willow. As everyone left to meet at the restaurant Willow had an idea.

"Maggie invited us out tonight. Would you mind if I just invited her and her date to eat with us instead? I know it'll get harder to see her.." Willow asked James.

"Of course. I'll inform the others." James nodded as they got into the truck together. Willow dialed Maggie's number.

"Hello?" Maggie answered.

"Hey, are you busy?" Willow asked.

"Not really. Just with Paul," Maggie answered sounding bored out of her mind.

"We're all going to dinner now at Monte's if you want to meet us there?" Willow offered. "I know it's short notice..."

"We'll be there in twenty." Maggie squealed before hanging up. Willow smiled and slid her phone into her back pocket.

"She seems so different from you. How..." James observed while driving making Willow laugh. He liked that sound, he hadn't heard it much yet.

"We're complete opposites, but she's honest and she's always been a good friend to me since I moved here. Some say I'm a bit different and when I started at the school she saw...yknow." Willow shrugged and looked out the window.

"Saw what?" James pushed.

"How others treated me sometimes, how they treated anyone different."

"What others?" James frowned.

"Mark and his crew, their girlfriends." Willow shrugged. "But really, after sophomore year it got pretty old for everyone involved. Its in the past."

"Right." James stared ahead at the road with an icy expression.

"Hey," Willow murmured, snapping him out of it. "Your brother's a d**k. Always has been, maybe he'll grow out of it. But let's not let that ruin our time tonight." Willow smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder. James loved her and again wondered what he had done to deserve her.