Beyond Her Promises (editing)(Complete)

Part 9

Sammy's P.O.V:

Being who I was and all that I went through, I had developed this habbit of inflicting pain upon myself, a pain so deep that the pain in my heart feels nothing. So, today when I felt the pain in my heart again, I went out for the same thing, inflicting so much pain that either my heart stops or the pain this piece of s**t is causing.

It was a cold winter day with heavy rain and I was running in the park, freezing. A couple in the park enjoying rain under a shed looked at me like I was crazy, which I totally understand, but I have to stop feeling. I have to make myself numb to the pain. I haven't felt this type of pain in years and now it's back and it's because of Amber. I could still hear her calling my name, begging me to talk to her and I just left. No matter what I do, I'll never be good enough for her, I'll never be able to free myself from the ghosts of my past. I'll fail her too, just like I failed my parents when they found out who I really was and just like I failed Jenna....

The night has fallen but the rain just won't stop. I could feel my body give up. I couldn't feel my toes anymore because of the cold. I thought of going back now as she must have left by then. Amber would be gone. I sent her away and if she comes back with cops, I won't give a damn. I deserve this. I mean how could I save one life while I hurt another ? how could I be so damn blind ?. That sweet girl, I hurt her. She was in pain because of me. Yes, there is a part of me that is dying to see her again, to feel the warmth that she carries, to smell this crazy fragrance she has of her own, to see her gorgeous eyes, to just hold her. But I lost every chance at that today. Above all, even if I didn't, I couldn't love her. I'm terrified of how she has managed to get to my heart in days and that scares the s**t out of me. I can't feel these things again. I can't....

After the long and hectic day I came back to this house which I won't ever call home. I entered and felt the silence surround me. I was alone again. It was almost midnight and it had finally stopped raining and I was wet, but I didn't care. I sat down, my back still leaning against the door. I let the silence of this house sink in. Amber was gone. I made her leave, even when she told me she didn't want to.

After a while I picked myself up and went to the kitchen. I opened the cabinet and took out the cereal box and poured some in a bowl and added milk to it. I was stirring it lost in my own world when I felt someone's eyes on me, I looked up in a blink and there she was.

Amber's P.O.V:

I was waiting for Sammy to come back, when I heard sounds coming from downstairs. I knew it was her, but should I go? what if she doesn't like that I'm still here ? what if she tells me to leave again? what if she doesn't...feel the same ?.

Still clouded by my thoughts, I went downstairs to see if she was there. She was sitting on the island while eating something. I can't help but just stand still looking at her, when I thought I'd lost her and within a second she looked at me. Her eyes were blood-red, like she had been crying for hours, she was wet and she didn't look so good. I stand still, waiting for her to say something...

"Amber" surprise clear in her tone...

"Sammy"

"What are you still doing here ? why didn't you leave ? I told you to go."

"I--"

"Answer me" she roared. Her loud voice scaring me.

"I couldn't...." i answered honestly.

"what does that mean? don't you wanna go back to the perfect life you have ? don't you wanna go back to your friends ? why won't you just leave ?"

"y-you" that's all I could come up with. She looked me right in the eye. I saw her clench her jaw, I know she was angry. But I stood by my words.

She stood up from her chair and went upstairs without saying anything. I was still standing there, hoping she'd say something but she didn't. For a min I thought she was gonna wrap her arms around me and tell me that all that she said was because she was angry or just tell me to stay or anything. Anything. I just need her words.

After waiting for what seemed like years I went upstairs, she has just came out of shower and our eyes connected, I could read millions kr words but she won't say it. f**k ! why does she do that ? why can't she just say that she feels something too when I can clearly see it in her eyes.

"I'm gonna sleep in the basement, you can take the bed. But make sure you're gone by tomorrow morning." She said with a tone so harsh, it was like daggers into my chest.

I kept looking at her with pain filled in my eyes and then a tear came rolling down my eye. I swear I saw her shift in her feet, I saw those eyes fill with care and love for me but it was like her body was separate from her heart. I could swear she was gonna hug me right then and there and kiss away all my pain. But she just looked down and left me again.

I kept laying in her bed, crying, I didn't want to sleep. My eyes were burning from tears, they felt like acid, leaving burn marks down my face. I heard her coming upstairs, I didn't want her to give the satisfaction of seeing me cry so I quickly closed my eyes pretending to be asleep. She came by side, her knees making sound while she knelt infront of me, I could smell her, she was right here, with me, but why?. If she doesn't care then what is she even doing here?.

I felt her touch on my cheek, her finger gently traveling along the burns on them because of my tears. I couldn't help but flich because of pain and burning sensation. She quickly pulled her hand away and i felt her kiss my forehead before she was gone, again, leaving me with so many questions.