Just like in the books

Chapter three: Get along or Get out

"You think I wanted this!" I woke with a start. For some bizarre reason I had a headache. I didn't know it was even possible to get a headache from sleeping. Or maybe it was my dream. Last night it felt as though someone had walked through my mind, sifting through all my memories. It hurt like a motherfucker. My head was pounding. Everything echoed and reverberated. It especially enhanced my parents morning argument. "You must have! Why else would you have done what you did, Cole? And don't you dare say it was for us! I've seen the bank statements, and the emails and all the late night texts you send you your latest, w***e!" My eyes pricked with tears as I laid my head on my pillow again and pulled my blanket up to my chin. He was cheating on my Mum. Again.

" Don't you dare call her that, Vanessa! " at least he didn't lie this this time." You have it in you to defend the young succubus bleeding you dry while your family is struggling to make ends meet? You're not the man I married all those years ago! You're not a man at all! " There was a loud bang followed by the smashing of glass. I knew better than to go downstairs during their arguments, so all I could do was weep quietly in my bed. " Yeah that's your response to everything! Funny how the parent not paying for s**t is the one breaking things!" "You know what? I'm done. I'm finish. With you and this family. Done, Vanessa!" I heard my father scream before I door slammed shut.

He'd come back. He always did. And she always allowed him to. Didn't make him walking out on us hurt any less despite the amount of times he's done it. I didn't hear anything after that, so I decided maybe I wouldn't have to leave for a few hours this time. That maybe my mother finally realised she could do so much better than a drunk who sleeps with anything that offers to warm his bed. But I was wrong. The water works were just delayed. Soon enough my mother's pain filled cries echoed in the empty house and I sighed before pushing myself out of bed. No school for me today.

I went to my closet and pulled on a raincoat before pulling on boots and headed for the window. The beach was normally chilly at this time and it was high tide right now but there was enough shore for me to walk on. Soon enough I was sitting on a large rock staring at the waves. I didn't particularly favour all the sand but I loved the smells and the sounds the beach offered. I remember standing at the edge of the cliff a few miles up, willing myself to jump. Drowning seemed so peaceful to me. The water slowly filled your lungs and the last sounds you hear are of water and your heartbeat. Too bad I wasnt brave enough to actually jump. I wasn't brave enough to take all my pain away.

I recall once being asked to stay behind by one of my former English teachers so she could discuss my essay with me. Our topic was an unexpected stranger. Id written about a girl who'd attempted suicide and was pulled away from death's door by an angel. No guest more unexpected than an angel. She'd encouraged me to tell her about my home life and assured me if I asked for help I would receive it. Of course I laughed it off, saying I wrote on such a melancholic note because of the books I'd been reading recently. She looked so unbelievably relieved hearing that.

Parents, teachers, adults in general don't understand how difficult it is to cling to life when there's a thousand beautiful things waiting for you to let go. They say their ready to help ready to listen. But what's the point of sharing your feelings when all you receive is punishment and judgement for doing so? Tears slipped onto my cheeks and I cursed myself for my inability to stop crying. 'It's going to be okay, Eli, ' an echoed voice soothed. I jumped to my feet abruptly, startled by the voice that sounded so near yet so far away at the same time, which proved to be a fetal error because I lost my balance. I fell backwards into the icy water, scraping my shoulder against a sharp rock in the process. I plunged into the icy water and swallowed the scream that bubbled up my throat. I tried to swim to the surface but the waves were strong and the more I tried to move forward the further back I was swept. Eventually my arms and legs began to feel like jelly. I was tired.

I couldn't hold my breath anymore and water entered my lungs. In that moment I realised I wasn't afraid. Or filled with sorrows or regret. My mind was unnaturally calm. I wasn't afraid of dying. The realisation hut me like a truck. I stopped fighting against the water and I let myself sink, deeper and deeper into the abyss I fell. Until I closed my eyes and let myself drift focusing singularly on how my unhappiness drifted into the abyss as well.

"Breathe, Elizabeth. Breath. Please breathe." Warm lips came down on mine and blew lungfuls of air into my mouth. Hands pressed down on my chest and something rushed up my throat. I coughed up lungfuls of sea water. 'So I didn't die?' I thought numbly. Tears pricked my eyes and I was enveloped in a warm embrace. I let out a soft gasp when I noticed the little crown tattoo on the nape of the boy's neck. Ethan. The longer he hugged me the less heavy my chest felt. "You're okay,"he whispered for himself or me I wasn't sure. When he pulled away he had the most petrifying glare on his face. And in my dazed mind he never looked more delectable than right now. His inky black curls were stuck to his forehead, little beads of water occasionally slipping of the ends and sliding down his cheek and his eyes blazed with anger.

"Are you f*****g insane? You came out alone during high tide and sat on a rock so far out? You could have f*****g died you dumb b***h!" If you listened closely to his words it almost sounded like he cared, from one human to another he must have. The fact that he called me a b***h didn't upset me at all, in fact it stirred something with in me. Ethan Lancaster's b***h. That snapped me out of my daze. "You're very rude," I said finally.

Ethan's jaw clenched and he inhaled deeply, "You truly are f*****g insane." His hands tightened on my waist and I realised what position we were in. I was in his lap, my legs on either side of his body and his hands snaked around me. I shrugged pursing my lips, "I suppose everyone is a little mad. Some of us have no choice but to embrace it more than others." His eyes bored into mine. So many things swirled in his and none of them were present long enough for me to decipher. "I should get home," I said after a lifetime of wonderful silence. He nodded and shoved me off before standing. Ethan quirked a brow at me, "Will you manage getting back to your house without getting run over or are you going to continue being a pain for a car ride to your house?" His voice was cold again. With a sigh I stood, dusted myself off and smiled at him. "I'll be fine. Thank you." That thank you was for yesterday as well as today. Everything he'd done in the last twenty fourty eight hours. Ethan seemed to understand that because his face softened momentarily. He nodded and turned around walking further down the beach, not sparing me another glance.