FBI (For Basic Idiots)

Dinner

“Oh. Well, that’s OK... Or I mean, it’s not OK, but it’s nothing we can’t through. Nothing we haven’t already got through... And obviously, I won’t let anything bad happen to you... To any of you...”

Sometimes, Scott doesn’t know why he bothers being the only optimistic one in this pack – it really is tiring. He sighs in defeat instead when he glances around to see the girls glaring at him, while Derek shoots him his typical withering look of being so deeply unimpressed by the young Alpha.

“f**k it.” Scott huffs, throws his hands up in the air and glares back at them all. “I don’t even know why I bother anymore.”

“Neither do I.” Lydia chirps, smiles all too sweetly when he glares at her.

Stiles sends a playful little punch to her best friend’s shoulder, grins cheerily as she tells him, “Don’t worry, Scotty, I still appreciate your pep talks.”

Scott rolls his eyes, but can’t help smiling.

“So, you guys had the chance to kill this thing, and you didn’t?” Malia asks, looks both confused and annoyed as she glances between the other five members of her pack. And how any of them ever got this far in life, she will never understand.

Derek scoffs, answers her as he shoots Scott another withering look. “I told him to let me kill it for him, but Alpha Noble Hippie over here wouldn’t let me.”

Stiles chuckles along with Kira.

Lydia smirks as Scott scoffs.

And Malia laughs right in her cousin’s face. “He would let you? What’re you, a child?”

“Excuse me –“ Scott butts in, stands in between the two and glares at them both. ”– but we don’t kill.”

“No, we just brutally beat the s**t outta our enemies.” Stiles started off joking, but quickly thinks it over before looking rather beat and saying, “Man, the older you get, the more Batman seems like a total psychopath.” She pouts. “Childhood ruined.”

Derek purses his lips to keep from laughing, while also trying to get over how adorable she is when she pouts... or ever.

“Stiles, please. One crackpot at a time.” Scott lets out an exasperated huff, pinches the bridge of his nose between two fingers and closes his eyes when his mate scoffs – because he knows he’s just f****d up.

“Excuse me?” Malia scoffs even louder, stands between the two wolves, back rudely to Derek as she glares at her so-called mate. “WHAT did you just call me?”

“Oof.” Stiles winces, pats her brother from (kind of) another mother on the back. “It was nice knowing, bro. I’ll miss you.”

Derek smirks as he slips his jacket on and slowly heads out after Stiles.

“What? You guys are leaving already? But... wait!” Scott practically squeaks out as they all slowly disperse to grab their bags and jackets.

“Can’t, sorry. I have Pilates in half hour.” Kira chirps, raises both hands in a “what can ya do?” expression.

“Malia just scares the s**t out of me when she’s angry and horny at the same time, so... bye!” Stiles chirps, sends him a cheerful wave.

“And I have... church.” Derek wrinkles his nose at his own lame excuse.

“Church?” Stiles arches a brow, just about manages to contain herself from bursting out laughing.

“It was the first word that sprang to mind. Shut up.” Derek grumbles as he follows her to the front door.

“Yeah, and I have work tomorrow. Gotta be up early or I’m in big trouble.” Lydia doesn’t even try to hide her smug smirk as he glares back at her helplessly from over Malia’s shoulder.

“You’re self-employed!” Scott snaps.

Malia narrows her eyes at him, hands now on her hips as she waits for the others to leave... so that she can pound his ass... both violently, and then, sexually, of course.

“I know. It’s crazy, right?” Lydia chirps over her shoulder, she and Kira looping arms and giggling all the way to the front door.

“You suck!” Scott yells after them. He will let Kira off, because he knows she’s the only one actually telling the truth. But the rest of his so-called pack and family can go screw themselves! “All of you!”

“Uh-huh. Love you, too, boo.” Stiles cackles from the hallway outside the front door. “Laters, Mimi! Try not to make too much of a mess with his corpse!”

###

“Thanks for being my chauffeur since I’ve been back.” Stiles shoots him a cheesy, but grateful smile as he pulls the Camaro out of the parking lot and onto the road.

“No problem. Beats having to babysit... constantly.” Derek scowls at the road ahead. “Technically, I’m one of their legal guardians... my God, I’m a parent and I didn’t even realise it until now...”

Stiles chuckles at his slightly distraught expression. “I still can’t believe you turned old Hale Manor into halfway house.” She smiles when he scowls at her now, tells him, “I think it’s awesome. Don’t get me wrong. I just... until they all started flocking towards Scott, I didn’t think you even liked kids...” She grins cheekily as she adds, “Or anybody in general...”

Derek rolls his eyes, shakes his head lightly, but is also smirking slightly as he turns the next corner. “I like kids just fine. Their hidden agendas tend to include more sneaky lameness than the real f****d up s**t I’m used to sniffing out.” He scoffs, sounds slightly bitter with himself as he mumbles, “Or not sniffing out at all, because of my own teenage sneaky lameness that got almost my entire family killed...” He blinks, snaps out of his rant and briefly lets his gaze flicker over to her.

Stiles arches a brow, because wow, he sounds ridiculous right now.

“Sorry.” Derek mutters, then, proceeds to mentally roast himself.

Stiles scoffs, waits for him to pull up into Melissa’s driveway before speaking. “You’re always sorry about what happened. But you always forget that you were a victim, too.”

Derek sighs, kills the engine, but leaves the keys in the ignition as he turns to face her. “I understand all of that. I understand that Kate took advantage of a minor. She could have burned down my house with my family inside without my help. The location has never been a secret. And she didn’t fall in love with me in some twisted way. I know that when you’re young, you think you know everything. But I’m supposed to be a werewolf. A born werewolf. And wolves are supposed to sense when they’re in the presence of true evil. She was true evil, Stiles. She used me for fun, for a little bonus thrill. I used to wonder how I survived; thought that maybe she just didn’t know I wasn’t with them at the time. But as I got older and I figured everything out, I realised she only kept me alive to watch me suffer.”

Stiles takes in every word he tells her, but she’s still slightly perplexed, so softly asks, “How does that change anything I just told you? You’re still a victim.”

Derek’s heart may even now skip a few beats as she lays a gentle hand to his shoulder, the touch only meant to be supportive, he knows and yet, the wolf part of him seeks more (but only because the human part of him likes to stay in denial.) “I still got them all killed. And nothing is ever gonna change that.” He says, tone final as he clears his throat and slaps on a small smile, and tries to move the conversation along. “Wanna grab breakfast again tomorrow? After the dipshits are all at school, obviously.”

Stiles chuckles. “Smooth.” She grins when he rolls his eyes – but she can appreciate and understand that he doesn’t want to talk any more about it; about Kate.

“And yeah, breakfast tomorrow. Oh, but not the same place as last time or I might just end up assaulting that... kurwa. [– whore.]”

Derek grins at that – because she doesn’t need to know how much Polish he really understands. Yet... “I liked her.” His grin widens when she shoots him a rather murderous glare. “What?” He shrugs casually. “She was nice to me.”

“And now, I shall quote our dearly beloved, and probably now deceased Alpha – ‘You suck!’” Stiles chirps with a bittersweet smile before grabbing her rucksack and finally opening the passenger’s door.

Derek smiles after her for a moment, gives himself another couple of moments to calm his nerves before he, too, gets out of the car to follow her. “Stiles.” He waits for her to turn around, almost loses his nerve when she blinks back at him with those big doe amber eyes of hers.

Stiles is confused to see him slowly (almost nervously??) shuffling his way towards her. “What’s wrong? Did I leave my phone in your car again?”

Derek smiles faintly as she pats her pockets down. “No. You put it in the front pocket of your rucksack.”

“Oh, yeah.” Stiles remembers doing that, but quickly checks, just to make sure.

Derek almost gets lost in her eyes again, feels stupid and helpless as he stands there staring at her with a small smile on his face.

“What’s up?” Stiles frowns now, looks slightly worried. “You’re scaring me. You look nervous. And you are pretty much NEVER nervous.”

Derek chuckles lightly, feels his stupid cheeks heating up as he finally just spits it out after all these goddamn years of waiting (wasting.) “I used to be good at doing this kinda thing, but here it goes – Stiles, will you please let me take you to dinner some time?” He tries to muster up his best charming smile, tries to ignores the nerves bubbling away just under the surface of his skin as he patiently waits for her response.

Stiles blinks, looks like she’s processing, also, still looks slightly confused. “I mean, if you’re hungry, there’s this great Vietnamese place I know, if you’re into that kinda food. I’m definitely not going to bed without stuffing my face until I puke, so –“

“N-no. That’s not what I meant.” Derek stops her, puffs out a chuckle at the way her brow adorably creases with further confusion. “Shit.” He chuckles, shakes his head, mumbles to himself, “I really am bad at this now.”

“Wha –“ Stiles blinks, and then, the penny finally drops from her and – “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Derek tries not to get his hopes up, even when he knows damn well that ship has already sailed.

“You... You’re...” Stiles uses the magic to clear her mind from babbling. “Are you asking me out on a date?” Seriously, she has to give herself kudos for sounding so calm.

“I am.” Derek nods, pulls out that last bit of confidence from his furry ass as he sends her another (hopefully more charming than actually terrified) smile.

“I, um, yes?” Stiles doesn’t know if she’s dreaming or not, really hopes she isn’t, but seriously, she wonders, what is even actually happening right now?

Derek lets out a slightly nervous laugh, arches a brow as he asks, “Is that a question?”

“I, um... no?” Stiles smiles sheepishly.

Derek shoots her another withering look, but this one is more pleading than she’s ever seen – it both makes her heart pang with sympathy and her traitorous cunt throb with want (which she definitely uses the magic to hide – on autopilot, 24/7!)

“I’m sorry!” Stiles softly squeals, shoots him a slightly helpless look as she tells him, “Yes, I will go on a date with you. You just totally caught me off guard, that’s all.”

Derek feels his shoulders sag with relief at her words – because his mind was racing wildly for a moment there.

Stupid (“kurwa”) Kate.

He smirks, tells Stiles, “That’s because you’re totally oblivious when it comes to people being interested in you.” His smirk widens when she only glares at him. “So... that was a yes?” This time, he doesn’t try to hide his hopeful expression.

Stiles can’t keep the stupid dopey smile from her face as clutches tightly at the strap of her rucksack over her shoulder to keep from letting out the loudest and most girliest scream. She’s sure she looks a total mess in her loose yoga pants, her half sweat stained Green Day t-shirt, and with her hair loose and wild as ever, and while she tries to get over the fact that her actual dream is coming true right now, she nods and (somehow calmly) tells him, “Yes, that was a yes.”

“OK... Good.” Derek nods, scowls slightly to himself as he says, “Wow, that sounded a lot smoother in my head.”

Stiles grins at that, but can’t help her nosey nature as she coyly asks him, “So, where are you taking me?”

Holy f**k toast, she is actually flirting with him right now... and he’s actually shooting her a flirty little smile back. She may just pass out at any moment. Or just turn into a sweaty pile of lady parts... God, she needs help.

“Actually, I was thinking rooftop of my place, and I cook for you.” Derek grins rather proudly, tells her, “I’m not a half bad chef.”

“OK, that just made you even more sexy.” Stiles rolls her eyes when he smirks. “Oh, shut up. You know you’re hott.”

Derek chuckles at that. “Just lemme know when you wanna sample my culinary skills.”

Stiles arches a brow – because OK, holy s**t, now he’s flirting back with her... and now, Stiles is sure he can hear her stupid heart racing, because she’s totally too distracted to use the magic. Some spark, she is.

“Was that an innuendo?” Stiles scoffs, pretends to look shocked. “Derek Hale, I don’t believe I know you at all.”

“I was being totally serious.” Derek promises, almost looks sincere before smirking and mumbling, “Ale tak, było. [But yes, it was.]”

Stiles gasps, actually is shocked this time. “Wha –“ Her eyes narrow, even when her heart races (because that totally means he understood every rude slur she gave that stupid waitress as he pulled the Camaro out of the parking lot afterwards.) “You’re a sneaky asshole.”

Derek chuckles. “Don’t worry, I’m not as fluent as you or your father.” He grins when she rolls her eyes.

“How about we do dinner tomorrow night? Last day before everyone’s free from work.” Stiles asks, tries not to sound so pathetically eager to spend more time alone with him.

“OK.” Derek smiles, nods. “It’s a date.”

Holy f**k, Stiles thinks, still slightly bewildered, it’s a date.