Ruby Alleyway's Crushes

The Fifth Grade One

The Fifth Grade One I never believed that love could happen to me. I was the kind who could not accept it easily. Hearing ‘Ruby Alleyway is in love’ made me cringe to the depths of my stomach. And, honestly, I never knew one could just ‘like’ someone till I was in fifth grade. During the game of Truth and Dare, Rose Lin asked me who was my crush? I, being an honest fifth-grader told them that it was no one.

Rose’ face was as judgmental as of a Marvel fan who heard someone doesn’t like the Avengers. There was big awkward silence as I felt every girl judge me, Rose Lin jumped on her space and persuaded me that there should be someone. Apparently not having a crush meant signs of abnormality.

Tired of being pried upon I said the first name that came to my mind, Liam Stalling. Liam was a meritorious child who happened to be very handsome for a fifth-grader. Rose looked at me with questioning eyes because apparently, I was the only one who found him attractive. No problem to me because I just gave a name and no actual feelings were harmed. I was so wrong.

Not long after that, I started imagining thing as to what would happen if Liam and I were together. The thoughts were very clear to me and this new feeling of crush had taken my hormones on a tsunami.

I would watch Liam from my bench as he would take his textbook for checking. One day Rose told me that Liam was fat and not at all good looking and that hindered my thinking for a while. Why did I like someone whom no one likes? Did I make a mistake choosing the one? My fifth-grade mind went to endless depths of reasoning.

We didn’t even like the same things! I liked Blue and he was a Green guy, I liked chocolate fudge and he was a raspberry ripple. But still, It became my habit to think of him. Then one day I decided, differences or no differences I must do as I please.

Not really knowing what to do when you have a crush on someone, I did what someone who is a big-time romance movie fan could do. I had seen in movies that if a girl waves her hair on the hero’s face, the hero instantly takes it as a sign of love.

It was as if his entire persona was changed and all he could think about is of that girl. Then the hero would confess his love in the form of big gesture and then they are in their happily ever after. I liked the idea of a big gesture.

But there was one big problem, a little birdie told me he liked Diya Verma. My heart shattered into tiny little sprinkles; tiny sad sprinkles spread on a dirty floor that no one can eat. Sprinkles which will never get a chance to be adorned by ice-cream or cake. Day went by as I tried to accept the harsh reality.

I knew that I had lost him, he may never be mine. I spent my days playing with my friends and looking out the windows, hoping someday.... someday life will take a turn for the better.

And It did, Diya had to transfer somewhere else. I turned to Liam who very surprisingly told to the other guy that he will have to find someone new now. Well, he shouldn’t bother, I thought, I am right here. Going back to my plan I started on my mission.

So, I prepared for the day I’ll make Liam fall in love with me. I had washed my hair with a very nice smelling shampoo. The intelligent genius in me thought that the smell plus the hair was all I need to make Liam fall head over heels for me. Just one swish and he’d be singing songs for me in the next five seconds.

My hair were short at the time, the reason being my mom. My mom had put me in a boy-cut style hair till the third grade and still was persistent to keep my hair to an above-shoulder length.

However, getting back to point, there he was standing on the right edge of the classroom door. Because boys were supposed to form a line on the right side and girls on the left side so that the teacher could escort us to the music room.

This is my chance I said to myself. I stood in the line in a way that we were adjacent to each other. I put my finger on my lips and acted like I just remembered forgetting something. I then turned in a way that my hair would directly fall on his face, but nope. It felt like God was not with me on this one.

But I was determined and I, in the pretext of going to take the said forgotten thing, flailed my hairs directly on his face.

Now I ask you to imagine yourself in Liam’s shoes. You are just standing, taking the support of the back wall while talking to your friend about something very interesting (I could see him immersed in the conversation as he did not notice someone throw a pencil box across him).

And then suddenly out of nowhere there comes these ‘hairs’ directly brushing the insides of your nose. Making you sneeze so hard your head swirls and you bang your head on the wall due to the sneeze. Sounds painful, doesn’t it? Yep, that’s what happened.

I turned triumphant to say my ‘sorry’ when I saw his disgusted face. To this day I remember the great fall of my romantic hopes in the waterfall of a dumpster. I could just feel my heart stop and my chest being hollow.

In conclusion the plan had failed. My memory clearly remembers this incident and to this day I smack myself in the face when I think of it. From that moment on I realized just how misleading movies are. Surely that didn’t stop me from being a movie fan, but it did stop me from believing in them for a few months.

Every time after that I saw Liam all I could see was that disgusted face of his as if someone had pooped on his head. Slowly my crush on him turned into my hate for him, so what if there were some hairs on your face. At least I didn’t vomit on you which Nancy Kruger sure did.

But this wasn’t a lesson for me to stop following ideas from the movies; oh, that lesson was learned two years later with a boy named Adam.