Love after loss

Chapter 19 - The declaration

Despite Garret insisting I take the day off I was doing my last shift on Saturday afternoon before flying to London the next day.

It was slowing down after the lunch rush and we were cleaning the tables in the space before it started getting busy again for the evening.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see Tom standing in front of me. 

He winced a little when he saw the bruised bump on my head.

“Can we talk a minute?”

“Sure” I nodded and gestured towards a booth.

“I went by your place. I didn’t think you’d be in today..” he trailed off and started fidgeting with a napkin in between his fingers before working up the courage to speak again “I just, I really wanted to apologise again. Jesus just look at you, this is all my fault” he dropped the napkin and ran his hand over his face.

“Did you mean what you said at all about us” I asked.

“Of course I did” he reached across the table and took my hand in his.

“I meant every word Elle. But I also saw the way you looked at me when I said it and I knew it was never going happen. You don’t look at me like you look at him” He jerked his head towards the bar where Garret was stood glaring in our direction.

“I should have told you about Melody but honestly I just liked the way it felt knowing she actually wanted to be with me. Knowing I wasn’t just someone to pass the time with to her. I was happy with her. I was going to tell you and I should have done it sooner. I wanted you Elle. But I was never going to get you, not all of you”

It was true. I gave him an understanding smile “You and I of all people know exactly how short life is. We should always try and be happy. The last few months I’ve had fun and laughed like I didn’t think I ever would again and you did that for me. How can begrudge you for finding someone who does that for you” 

He smiled at me relieved. 

“I need to get back to work. Come here”

I stood up and hugged him closely. I stood up on my tip toes and kissed his cheek. “She better be good to you” I smiled at him then watched him leave giving him a small wave.

I turned around to take the tray of glasses back to the bar and as soon as I had set the tray down Garret snatched my hand into his and pulled me into the office shutting the door behind us. 

“Please don’t go back to him Elle”

It was then I realised how my conversation with Tom must have looked to Garret.

He cupped my face in his hands. And traced his thumb across my bottom lip. 

“I love you Elle”

I could hear my heart hammering inside my head. It was so loud I’m sure he must have heard it too.

“I have loved you from the moment I met you. I gave you up once but I refuse to do it again” his face was close to mine, our noses touching. 

This is everything I had ever wanted to hear from him but I couldn’t speak. My mind wasn’t cooperating.

“So please don’t go back to him Elle. Give me a chance. All I’ve ever wanted to do is make you happy” 

I stared at him for a moment still unable to respond and then I kissed him. It was 3 years worth of missed kisses. It was passionate, it was raw. One of his hands slipped round the back of my head and his fingers wound into my hair. The other hand wrapped around my waist. My arms went round his neck pulling him into me as tightly as I could. 

He pulled slightly away from me and rested his forehead on mine. “Say something...” he implored me. 

Then there was a knock at the office door and it pulled me back to reality. I panicked. I wanted to say I loved him too. That even though I loved Derek all the world there was a part of me that always belonged to him. But instead what I said was “I need to get home and pack” and I walked out the door.