Love after loss

Chapter 13 - The fall

The next day was Sunday and after going out in the bitter cold for groceries to fill my empty fridge, I padded around in my fluffy socks and sweatpants, unpacking my suitcases and trying hard not to think too much about Garret.

Which was easier said than done when in the late afternoon as I was curled up under a blanket watching soaps on the television, he knocked on the door.

“Hey can we talk?”

“Hi, yes, of course we can” I answered his question while gripping the door.

“Can I come in then?” He smirked at me

“Right, sorry” I moved out of his way so he could come in from the cold.

“I hope I’m not interrupting” with that same smirk he appraised my blanket cocoon surrounded by snacks.

“Very funny. What’s up” 

He turned towards me “I wanted to apologise, about last night, and the things I said. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I was just glad to have you back and I think the champagne got to me” 

So he didn’t feel how I felt after all. Disappointment sliced through me but I didn’t let it show.

“You didn’t. I guess I was more tired than I realised after a day of travelling. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Elise. I’m looking forward to getting to know her better” I bit my bottom lip a little at the lie.

“I’ll be back to work tomorrow”

He nodded “I’ll meet you there and we can go over the books and any private events we have that are planned”

“Great” I stood there awkwardly with my arms folded looking at the floor.

“This is weird, right”

My head snapped up at his words “what”

“This. It feels weird. Awkward. I’ve waited so long for you that I almost don’t know how to act around my best friend anymore. Before, I would just walk in, sling my arm around you and grab a beer. The 3 of us would order food and drink and laugh and sing and dance...” he trailed off. 

I felt a sting in my heart. The 3 of us. You, me and Derek. 

Maybe I didn’t even feel the way I thought I did about Garret. Maybe I was just trying to reclaim a little of what I had lost when Derek had died. 

I smiled at him “I’ll grab the beers, you order the food? We can catch up properly?” 

He hesitated “I would love to Elle but I told Elise I wouldn’t be long”

“Right, no worries, we can do it another time” I waved my hand dismissively.

“Hey, why don’t you come to our house for dinner next week. We can catch up and you can get to know Elise a bit”

I nodded “sounds great” 

“Great. Well I’ll see you tomorrow then”

We said our goodbyes and he left.

After that I couldn’t even focus on the tv, I was pacing around trying to get my thoughts and feelings in order with no luck. 

After a while I frustratedly grabbed my running shoes and headed out the door making my way down the street towards the park. A feeling of calm washing over me with every step I pushed forward.

As I neared the fountain which marked the middle of the park, it had begun to snow. I closed my eyes peacefully and took a deep breath of the cold air. When all of a sudden I slammed into something hard and was knocked backwards landing heavily on my arse. 

I looked up at what or rather who I had bumped into and gasped in surprise at the person who held their hand out to help me up.