Love after loss

Chapter 9 - The offer

That night I walked into the bar and asked Garret if we could talk in the office. I had a plan formed in my mind thanks to what Stuart had said and a trip to the lawyer that afternoon has set things in motion.

“So what’s up?”

“Garret, I’ve been thinking about something and I don’t want you to interrupt me until I have said my piece”

He looked confused but nodded his head in agreement so I continued.

“Your friendship the last 6 months.. well actually you and Meg have been my best friends since I moved here and I just want to tell you how much I have appreciated it. How much I appreciate you. I don’t know what I would have done without you. You’ve been running the place single handedly since we found out Derek was sick. You’ve barely had a day off and when you have it’s been spent at hospital next to Derek or listening to me cry or just generally doing your best to lessen our burden any way you can. You don’t know how much it’s meant to me. You were like a brother to Derek and so...”

I took a deep breath

“I want to give you 50% of the bar. I want us to be partners”

Garret opened his mouth to say something but I held up my hand. 

“This bar is as much your legacy as Dereks. You’ve been with him here since he opened the doors. Before I ever knew him. I won’t change my mind and it’s already in process”

His brow had knitted further together but he said nothing so I went on.

“I know you’ve been working your arse off and you are mourning your best friend on top of that but I do have something to ask you”

“What is it” he asked 

“I want to go home. Back to London for a while. I am broken Garret and I need to be with my family”

There was a long pause while he studied his hands before he finally looked up at me “For how long” he asked and I could hear sadness in his voice. 

I was being selfish, I knew it. He needed to heal too. I should have told him I would stay but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. I was too tired. I was too sad. My soul was undone”

“I don’t know” I admitted. 

“I’d do anything for you Elle and if this is what you need then you have to to go but... I’ll miss you”

He stood up and I was wrapped into his arms.

“Thank you”

It was a busy few days as paperwork was drawn up for the partnership, packing was done and interviews were held for a full time member of staff to help Garret and the team will I was away.

We finally agreed on hiring a woman in her late 20s called Elise. She was pretty, confident and funny and had bar experience. She would be a great addition and I was happier that I wasn’t leaving Garret completely in the lurch.

Meg had offered to drive me and Stuart to the airport and I had just finished zipping my suitcase when she came bounding into  my bedroom and hugged me from behind.

“God I’m going to miss you. There’s still time to change your mind. Or maybe I will just drive passed the airport and keep driving until you miss your flight and can’t leave”

I laughed a little and turned to look at her “I didn’t know you were here”

“Stuart let me in, I came early to convince you to stay but clearly my efforts are in vain. You didn’t even say you’ll miss me too” she pouted 

“Of course I will but I will be back before you know it” 

“You better Elle or I’ll hop on a plane and come get you and you know how much I hate flying” she grabbed my suitcase and walked out the room without so much as a glance back.

“You all set?” A voice asked as I got to the bottom of the stairs. 

“Garret what are you doing here” I asked with a small smile

“I couldn’t let Meg be only one to get all the goodbye hugs”

“Then let’s go” Stuart announced clapping his hands.

As I was sitting on the plane, I chanced a look to where Stuart was sitting a few rows behind me. He was asleep with his mouth hanging open. I rolled my eyes but was glad he wasn’t going to see what I was about to do. I hadn’t had any time alone the passed few weeks so I was glad I didn’t have any knowing eyes on my when I pulled out Dereks letter from my purse and tore it open.

My Dearest Elle,

Obviously if you are reading this letter then I am no longer with you and I am sorry for that.

I can’t begin to tell you all the ways in which you made my life better, the ways you made me love you more and more each day. 

It may have been dancing round the kitchen barefoot blasting music while you cooked.

Or your fearlessness Or your down right cheekiness. 

I’m not sure what I done to deserve you but the day you said yes to being my wife, you completed me.

I know you are probably rolling your eyes calling me cheesy but it’s the truth.

You were my whole world Elle. But I won’t be yours. 

Please don’t stop living. 

I couldn’t bare the thought of your bright soul burning away.

If I could ask one more thing of you, it’s this:

Be happy, even if you feel lonely know I will always be right beside you. So keep smiling that beautiful smile of yours. 

Find love again. Because a world without your love will be a sad place to be

Always know I am with you

All my love

Your husband

Derek x

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down and carefully folded the letter back up and returned it safely to my purse. It wouldn’t be the last time I would read that letter.