St. Zouis Season 1

Episode 1 (Pt 3)

Freya takes a hit of her meth pipe as she gets a call from Lorena the Llama

Freya: Hey, Lorena! What's up? You need something?... Ooh, please do! I need some good gossip to distract me from all this Luna and Stella drama… Hey, Lorena! I have some good news for you. Last night, I met this really cute male wolf at a bar, and we hit it off!

(Lorena the Llama laughs)

Lorena: Whoa, that is great news! So this cute male wolf is single?

Freya: Yeah, he definitely is! He's super cute and has a really good personality. There were some sparks between us, and I can't wait to see him again.

(Lorena is still laughing)

Lorena: That is great news, Freya! You don't really need to be single anymore. So, did you get his number? What did you two do afterwards?

Freya: Of course I did! Afterwards, we went to his place, and he made me howl! And there wasn't a full moon!

(Lorena is still laughing, and she can't quite believe what Freya just said)

Lorena: Oh, Freya, you were so naughty last night! Did he use his paws or his mouth to make you howl?

(She continues to laugh)

Freya: His 3rd leg!

(Lorena is now laughing uncontrollably, as she can't believe what she just heard)

Lorena: Oh, Freya, you're absolutely disgusting!

Freya: Hey, don't judge! At least I'm getting some action...

(More laughter)

Lorena: So, what's he like?

Freya: Well, he's tall, dark, and handsome. He has piercing eyes, a sexy voice, and a great personality. He's also very confident and a bit mischievous. He knows how to flirt, and he's really good at it.

Lorena: I'm jealous. You're a lucky girl.

Freya: Hey, if I manage to turn this cute guy into my boyfriend, don't forget that you owe me big time.

Lorena: Yeah yeah, I hear ya. Just keep in touch, okay? And let me know how things go. I'm rooting for you two!

Freya: That nigga had me howling all night and it wasn't no full moon outside!

Lorena: You are so vulgar! I will never understand you!

But you know what, I am rooting for you, too. This cute male wolf sure sounds like a fun guy.

Freya: He is! And he sure knows how to treat a lady right…

Lorena: Wow, Freya! You certainly know how to enjoy yourself. I don't think I've ever had a night quite like that.

Freya: Well, Lorena, you have to know who the right animal is to spend a night with. I can't be wasting my time with just anyone. I'm a real prize, you know.

Lorena: Uh-huh, I noticed that! But who is this wonderful man you've decided to spend the night with?

Freya: I'm not gonna spill the beans just yet! I'm keeping him a secret until I've gotten to know him a little bit better. But I must say, he is a real catch.

(Lorena can't help but get curious, and she wants to know more about this mystery man)

Freya: He's a real catch! But if you want all the juicy deets, you'll have to pay me.

Lorena: Oh, come on! You would hold out on me like this? Who is he? What's his name?

Freya: It'll cost you big time, my friend. I'm not just going to hand over this kind of information without some kind of compensation.

Lorena: Please, I'm desperate! Just give me his name at least.

Freya's eyes widen

Freya: Come to think about it, I never asked!

(Lorena still wants to find out more about the mystery man)

Lorena: Wait, you don't even know his name? And you slept with him?? How could you not ask for his name?

(Freya laughs)

Freya: Well, you know, he never offered, and I figured it was rude to ask. But to be honest, even if I did know his name, I wouldn't be telling you either way…

Lorena: Ugh, Freya! You're such a bad influence. You need to stop messing around and settle down into a serious relationship. There will be plenty of time for all that wild stuff when you get older.

Freya: Ugh, I hate when you talk like that, Lorena! I'm not a little puppy anymore - I can make my own decisions. And I think I'm doing just fine, thank you very much.

Besides, settling down isn't exactly my idea of a good time. I'm having too much fun playing the field and being a free spirit!

Lorena: Oh, please, Freya. You sound like a silly young pup. And what about that cute guy? Is he even boyfriend material?

Freya: Well, he could be if he wanted to. He seems pretty sweet, but I'm not sure he can handle this much Freya.

Lorena: Come on! Give him a chance to shine. And if he's really boyfriend material, he'll stick around. If not, better to know now.

Freya: Ugh, fine! I guess I could give him a shot. But if he doesn't show up, I'm done with him. And if he tries any of that "alpha" nonsense with me, he'll get the cold shoulder. I'm the alpha in every situation I'm in, you get that?

Lorena: Whatever you say, Freya. Just make sure you don't get hurt.

Freya: Oh, please! You sound just like my parents! You worry too much. What can I say? I'm a wild wolf!

Lorena: Just be careful, Freya. You don't want to get too carried away and end up with a bunch of pups to take care of.

Freya: That's not an issue! I'll just send them to terrorize Stella!

Lorena: You're so wild, Freya. I don't know how you manage to keep up with all the drama in your life.

Freya: Well, it's my job to be wild! And I wouldn't have it any other way. But, hey, maybe I *should* settle down for this cute guy... The only question is, will he be able to handle me?

(Lorena can't help but giggle at Freya's audacity)

Lorena: You are absolutely unhinged, you know that, right?

Freya: Unhinged? Me? What are you talking about?! I'm just enjoying life, enjoying all the juicy drama! And I'm not about to settle down any time soon.

(Lorena is still laughing)

Lorena: Yeah, but you still gotta try to control that temper of yours!

Freya: Yeah, yeah, I know! I'm working on it!

(Lorena sighs)

Lorena: Ok, please tell me one thing - have you at least decided to give that cute guy a chance?

Freya: He's coming over tonight! I told him to dominate me!

Lorena: Wait, what??? You told him to dominate you??? What do you mean by that??

Freya: Simple! I want him to f**k me like he's in charge!

Lorena: *is stunned by this turn of events* You're serious? You're really letting him do that?

Freya: What's the difference? I let him do it last night!

Lorena: *she doesn't know what to say* You- You- You let him do it last night? And you plan to let him do it again?

Freya: Why not!? He did me so good last night, I think he almost broke my back!

Lorena: Wait, wait... So he's good at "it" then? But are you 100% sure you want to let him do that? You said yourself that he might not be boyfriend material…

Freya: Doesn't mean I don't like a good Hook up every now and then!

Lorena: Well, I guess that's true... But are you sure he won't try to pull any of that "alpha" stuff on you?

Freya: I think I'll be fine with it tonight! As long as he puts that down tonight!

Lorena: *she chuckles* You know he probably thinks he can turn things around, right? That he can prove himself to be the alpha and get you to settle down for him?

Freya: That'll be a miserable fail! Just like all Stella's revenge plans!

Lorena: Well, at least you're being optimistic about the whole thing. Just remember: if he tries to pull any of that "alpha" stuff on you, you need to stand your ground and don't let him push you around. Let him know who's really in charge here.

Freya: Well, I don't mind if he's in charge tonight! As long as he does what I ask! I want him to dominate me like he's the man in charge tonight!

Lorena: *she sighs* I don't even know what to say anymore.

At least you're having fun with it, right? You don't really believe that he's going to stick around?

Freya: They never do!

Lorena: But you're fine with that, right? You don't actually have any feelings for this guy, do you?

Freya: And why would I?

Lorena: Oh, I don't know... Maybe because you slept with him last night? And you plan to do it again tonight?

Freya: No feelings over here!

Lorena: *she laughs* And you wouldn't mind if he dropped you after tonight?

Freya: Not at all! I'll find another man, with a better d**k than his!

Lorena: You're so bad! I swear... You'll see what happens if he finds out you don't actually care about him!

Freya: He probably doesn't even care about me!? I met this guy at a bar for crying out loud! We had s*x the same night! This ain't one of those romantic movies you obsess over Lorena!

Lorena: I don't know... I think maybe he likes you at least a little bit. I mean, he wouldn't have invited you over for another night if he didn't, right?

Freya: I invited him over!

Lorena: Oh... But he accepted, right? I mean, he could have said no to you. Even if you invited him over, he still said yes, right?

Freya: He did! But probably because he likes what I did last night! Not because he's in love!

Lorena: Oh, come on! Don't you see what's happening here? You're denying it now, sure, but I guarantee that he sees you as more than just a hook-up. I bet he's starting to like you.

Freya: See what happens when you hang out with Stella? You think everything is a romance movie! Next thing you know, you know, you find yourself married to a big fat guy, that only talks about Jesus!!

*Lorena breaks out laughing*

Lorena: Ok, Ok. I guess I am being a little bit of a rom-com queen here, but you know I'm just looking out for you. I can tell that you're just being defensive about this because you don't want to have feelings for this guy.

Freya: Exactly! Look at Stella! Wanted to find love so bad that she married some fat ass skunk that only wakes up with Jesus on his mind!

(Lorena laughs again)

Lorena: Yeah, I guess you're right. That's not exactly the life you want for yourself. But you'll be fine with this guy, right? He'll give you a good time for the night, and then you're going to move on?

Freya: We'll see! I like to see where everything goes!

Lorena: Well, what if he does want to come back after tonight... You'll send him packing, right?

Freya: Nah! He can keep breaking my back!

Lorena: *is stunned once again* You- You- You can't really be serious, right?

Freya: More serious than cancer and a stroke in one!

Lorena: *her mouth is still hanging open* Okay, let me just make sure I'm hearing this right. You're planning on continuing to sleep with this guy, even if he starts acting clingy or like he really likes you?

Lorena: Oh, so we have a little change of heart here? You're starting to actually fall for this guy, aren't you?

Freya: The pipe! Not him!

Lorena: Oh, come on now. I know you like him.

You're acting like a little schoolgirl, who's talking for the first time about her crush with her friends and trying to say that things aren't going too far, but she's definitely enjoying it.

Freya: Come on Lorena! It's only been one night!

Lorena: *laughing again* I know, I know... The guy probably thinks he's just going to have some fun for one night, and this little princess is going to move on after him. But, you know, what if this time it's different? What if this guy actually has feelings for you and is looking for more than just a hook-up?

Freya: Only time will tell!

Lorena: I guess so. But you're not afraid to get hurt again, right? You're going to be careful, and if he starts showing any signs of jealousy or controlling behaviors, you'll dump him, right?

Freya: Definitely! And the day he starts crying about killing himself, I'll tell him to just do it!

Lorena: *she freezes up a little, not knowing what to say* ... Why the hell would he talk about killing himself??

Freya: What narcissist doesn't talk about suicide as a form of manipulation?

Lorena: *she nods her head in agreement* Yeah, I guess that is pretty common. But you won't take it seriously if he actually starts talking about it, right? Like, you won't take your time with him and try to "save" him or anything, right?

Freya: Not at all! Hell, who tried "saving" me when I tried overdosing on 3 different painkillers? I'm still mad about that plan failing! Stuck in bed, sick for 2 days!

Lorena: *she is stunned* What the hell are you talking about? You tried to overdose on painkillers?

Freya: Sure did!

Lorena: *she's speechless now* W-Why didn't you tell me about that?

.

Freya: Just like Luna, you overreact sometimes!

Lorena: What the hell do you mean overreacted?! Trying to overdose on painkillers is a serious thing, you know?!

Freya: Think I didn't know what I was doing!?

Lorena: I-I-I- It doesn't matter if you know what you were doing or not! This is serious stuff. You could've died, damn it!

Freya: Point proven! Talking to you is like talking to Luna! Only difference, Luna will turn into your mom quick!

Lorena: Look... I know I might make a big deal out of everything sometimes... But I'm just worried, that's all…

Freya: Aww, thanks, Lorena! I know you're just looking out for me. I appreciate it. But don't forget that I'm still in control here. I'll be fine.

Lorena: Of course you will, my friend. And that's the best part. Just try to think clearly, ok? You seem like you know what you're doing, so just make sure to be careful. If he starts giving you weird vibes or starts acting really controlling, just cut him out of your life, right?

Freya: Like I'll waste my time on a controlling douchebag!

Lorena: But what if the signs aren't so obvious? What if he seems like he's the perfect guy for you, but he also seems like he's really jealous and angry sometimes? You know that that's not a perfect guy, right?

Freya: That's everyday life! I'm aware! I don't have to watch no romantic movies and read romantic fiction books!

Lorena: *she sighs* I don't understand you at all sometimes… *she sighs* I don't even know why I'm still stressing out. It's not like you're going to listen to me anyway.

Freya: Anyway, you been on Gossipnet lately?

Lorena: Everyday! Why?

Freya: Stella and Luna are at it again!

Lorena: Great, I can't wait to hear what they're bitching about this time.

Freya: I bet Stella started it!

Lorena: Oh, 100%. But it seems like Luna is more than happy to jump on the drama train too.

Freya: Of course! Luna can't wait to get those Gossipnet paws typing!

Lorena: *she rolls her eyes* We might as well check out the site right now. I just can't wait to see what kind of drama they're stirring up now…

The scene switches over to George the giraffe and Ellis the elephant

George: Hey, Ellis. What's up?

Ellis: Just scrolling through GossipNet!

George: Did you hear about all the drama going on between Stella and Luna?

Ellis: I did! It's crazy! Those two are always so at each other's throats and now they're bringing their fights to the interweb!

George: Yeah, it's insane! They've always had a rivalry, but now it's just getting out of hand.

Ellis: Totally! I mean, I get that they don't get along, but it's like they're trying to one-up each other in every way possible.

(They both chuckle)

George: Yeah, tell me about it! I feel like I'm watching a reality show every time I go on GossipNet.

Ellis: Same! I mean, what happened to friendship and sisterhood? Everyone seems to be out for themselves these days.

George: Yep, and it's all thanks to those social media sites like GossipNet and others that keep fueling this fight between Stella and Luna.

Ellis: Yeah, but what can we really do about it?

George: I guess just watch and let them argue?

Ellis: That sounds about right. Hey, do you think they'll ever make up?

George: I doubt it. They seem too competitive to back down now.

Ellis: Yeah, those two really need to grow up.

George: *nods head in agreement* Seriously, they're just adults acting like they're still in high school!

Ellis: Exactly. They're supposed to be "mature" and "grown up" now, but they sure don't act like it with all this arguing on the internet. You'd think they'd be past this drama by now…

George: Hey, Ellis. I need you to do something for me.

Ellis: Uh, sure. What is it?

George: I need you to go find some food for us to eat.

Ellis: No problem, George!

George: Thanks, Ellis. I really appreciate it!

Ellis: You're welcome, George.

(Turns to the camera and smiles)

It's always a pleasure to help a friend out.

(George smiles back at Ellis)

*The scene switches to Stella, who is looking down at her phone with a sour expression on her face*

Stella: *speaking through gritted teeth* Damn it, Luna! This is the last straw!

Stella is walking outside.

While Ellis is out, he runs into Stella.

Ellis: Hi, Stella. What are you up to?

Stella: Nothing, just checking the gossip on GossipNet... I'm so sick of that goddamn Luna for starting all that gossip about me on that damn site!

Ellis: So, what happened between you and Luna? I seen the posts you 2 exchanged back and forth on GossipNet!

Stella: Oh boy...where do I even start?

Ellis: Take your time. I'm here to listen.

Stella: Well, it's kind of a long story. But I've known Luna since we were kids, and I've always felt like there was a little bit of competition between us, but lately it's just gotten a little out of hand.

Ellis continue to listen

Stella: Ugh, I can't stand Luna. She's always trying to show off and she never lets anyone else have their moment in the spotlight. Have you noticed that too, Ellis?

Ellis: I actually like Luna. She's very sweet and kind hearted.

Stella: Sweet and kind-hearted? Are we speaking about the same woman here? I've never seen her that way! That's just the image she puts out in public. In real life, she's a total narcissist and self-centered!

Ellis: *shrugs* That hasn't been my experience with her. She's always been very kind and helpful to me.

Stella: She's pretending Ellis! *getting angry* She puts out this fake persona that makes it seem like she cares, when she really doesn't! Everything she has done has been for her own benefit, not anyone else's! Why the heck are you taking her side, anyway?

Ellis: I'm not taking nobody's side! Just speaking from experience!

Stella: Well, your experience is wrong!

Ellis: Sounds like somebody's jealous!

Stella: Oh please!? Why would I be jealous of a 4 eyed feline!?

Ellis: Because Luna is so nice and popular, and you just want that kind of attention for yourself.

Stella: That's ridiculous! Why would I ever want attention from a bunch of silly animals like you?

Ellis: What's that supposed to mean?

Stella: You know what I mean. I have much better and more important things to focus on.

Ellis: Like what?

Stella: *looks away from Ellis, not wanting to answer the question*

Ellis: *laughs* Oh, so there is nothing else, right?

Stella: Just shush, okay?? I have bigger and more important things to worry about than this childish bickering between us.

Ellis: Sure, you may have more important things to do... But deep down, you wish you were like us. You wish you were appreciated and well-liked. But you're not, so you try to deflect the pain with your hateful words and jealous thoughts. It's quite sad, actually.

Stella: Take that back! I will make you regret that!

Ellis: I can't take it back, because it's the truth.

Stella: You little bastard! How dare you!

Ellis: I dare because someone has to finally tell you the truth!

Stella: And who made you the expert on that matter?

Ellis: I'm just speaking my mind, and you don't like it.

Stella: Just watch, Ellis! You'll regret saying what you just said!

Ellis: Oh really? With what? Your foul smell?

Stella: I don't appreciate you talking to me like that! You should know your place and show some respect.

Ellis: I would like to show a little respect, but you're making it really hard right now! You think you're so superior to everyone else just because of your popularity? You're so full of yourself, and you're too self-absorbed to realize that you've been treating everyone else like they're beneath you! It's about time someone said something about it!

Stella: Shut your lips, you nasty old elephant! Why don't you go munch on some grass or something?

Ellis: Just telling it like it is.

Stella: Watch it Ellis! And FYI, I could care less about that slut! She's probably out there, sucking tiger d**k!

Ellis: Oh, that's it, you crossed the line!

*Ellis is very mad now.*

Stella: What are you gonna do about it?

Ellis (offended): What an awful thing to say, Stella. You should be ashamed of yourself for thinking like that, let alone saying it out loud.

Stella: I'm saying whatever the hell I want! And honestly, I have no respect for you at this point, so why should I even care what you think???

Ellis: Oh, you have no respect for me? Well I have no respect for you either!

*Ellis is about to make a comeback, but stops himself*

Ellis::It's not even worth getting into this with you!

Stella: (examining her nails) Just saying! Don't let that fake prideful attitude of hers fool you! You know she be in them alleys finding some d**k from those strays!

Stella has really struck a nerve at this point, pushing Ellis's prideful button.

This is where Ellis can't take anymore and reacts.

Ellis: What did you just say?

Stella: You heard me!

Ellis: Oh, you little-

*Ellis is about to say a really bad word, but he stops mid-sentence. There's something else he can say instead…

Stella: What? Oh the big fat elephant ain't running his trunk now!

Ellis: Yeah, fat you say? You want to know what's really fat? You! You're so damn fat, that the Earth is getting thrown off its orbit!

*Ellis can't believe he just said that, but the anger took over him.*

Stella: Well, as far as I'm concerned, f**k her! She died this morning! Rest in peace to that slut!

Stella's comment seems to have affected Ellis very much.

He can't help but say it, despite whatever consequences there might be for it.

Ellis: What the hell did you just say?

Stella: I said... The little hoe bag died this morning!

*Ellis is furious at this point, and his face is totally red. He looks like he can snap at any second. He doesn't care anymore and just wants to fight.*

*Ellis doesn't care about being a little aggressive, he's just too mad at Stella to care. And what she said about Luna was really offensive...*

Ellis: You know what? I'll let you say whatever you want, because I'm done with this argument. This is pointless, anyway. No matter what I say, you won't listen. You'll just keep insulting me and talking about how great you are, and I'm so tired of it.

Stella: Whatever! I'll do whatever I want! And if that means hating Luna, then fine! I don't care what you think about it! I don't owe you or anyone else an explanation for my behavior. I'll say what I want, and if animals don't like it, they can go f**k themselves.

Ellis: Stella, I think you should take a hard look at yourself. This kind of attitude is not healthy and it's really starting to become a problem.

Stella: No one cares what you think about me, you stupid elephant. You're not so great yourself. And you're not one to talk about my behavior! You've got a lot of nerve.

Ellis: Ok, it was nice to see you Stella. I have to go now! (Walks away from Stella)

Stella: *sarcastically* Bye, you fat elephant!