The Guilt .
1518 Words
The Next Morning
Gemma woke up like her skull was splitting in two.
Her head throbbed, deep, relentless,every pulse echoing behind her eyes. She groaned and rolled onto her side, pressing her face into the pillow, hoping sleep would pull her back under.
It didn’t.
Slowly, she opened her eyes.
Pink curtains. Familiar posters. Her dresser by the window.
Her room.
She frowned.
“What…?” Her voice came out hoarse. “How did I.....”
The night before came back in flashes. Music. Red cups. Collins’ face, then another girl’s mouth on his. The humiliation burned fresh.
And then.....
A knock.
Sharp. Loud. Too loud.
Gemma winced. “God....”
The door opened before she could answer.
“Chloe?” she snapped. “Can you wait until I say come in?”
Chloe froze halfway in, guilt already written on her face. “Sorry.....”
Gemma collapsed back onto the bed. “What time is it?”
“Eleven.”
Gemma’s eyes widened. “Eleven? I’ve been sleeping that long?”
“Yep.” Chloe hesitated. “You were… out.”
Gemma swallowed. “What happened last night? How did I get home?”
Toby looked away. “Diego dropped you.”
That name landed heavy.
“Oh.”
As Chloe kept talking; about their mom already leaving for work, about how Gemma scared everyone last night, something clicked.
A memory slid into place.
Diego’s arm.
The bathroom.
His face too close.
Her lips.
Gemma’s breath hitched.
She sat up so fast the room spun. Her fingers flew to her mouth, trembling.
“No,” she whispered.
She swung her legs off the bed.
“Gemma?” Toby called behind her. “Where are you going?”
She didn’t answer.
She was already running.
She knocked on Diego’s door like she meant to break it down.
Again. Again. Again.
The door flew open.
“Are you trying to destroy my door?” Diego snapped.
Gemma didn’t let him finish.
“That was my first kiss,” she said, voice shaking with fury. “You had no right.”
Diego blinked. “What?”
“You kissed me!”
“Whoa.” He scoffed. “You kissed me.”
Her laugh was sharp and broken. “Oh, so now you’re flipping it?”
“You were drunk,” he shot back. “You climbed on me. I didn’t even know who you thought I was.”
Her face drained. “What,what does that mean?”
“What do you think?” he said coldly.
“That can't be true ?” she whispered.
“No,” she snapped immediately. “Don’t you dare put that on me.”
He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “You know what, Gemma? Forget it. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. I should’ve just left you there to drink yourself stupid over a guy who doesn’t even know you exist.”
“That’s none of your business.”
“It became my business when I was the one picking you up, holding your hair back, dragging you out of a party you embarrassed yourself in.”
“I didn’t ask for your help!”
“Yes, you did,” he said. “You just didn’t like how it ended.”
Footsteps interrupted them.
Collins walked past, eyes bloodshot, clothes wrinkled, neck dotted with fresh hickeys.
He paused. “Did I see you two last night?”
Gemma opened her mouth.
“Whatever,” Collins muttered. “I don’t care. Later losers.”
He walked inside and slammed the door.
Diego let out a bitter laugh. “Wow. Real charmer.”
“f**k off,” Gemma spat.
“At least I didn’t pretend to care,” he snapped back.
“Well, at least he didn’t force a kiss on me!”
Diego’s face hardened. “I didn’t force anything. You came onto me.”
“Oh please,” she said. “And you expect me to believe that?”
He stepped closer, voice low and cruel.
“You know what hurts the most? You weren’t kissing me. You were so desperate you’d take anyone standing in front of you.”
That one landed.
Gemma’s chest caved inward.
She stared at him, eyes glossy. “And you know what hurts me? I trusted you. I thought you were different. Turns out you’re just as selfish, just better at pretending.”
Silence.
“Sure,” Diego said flatly.
She turned and walked away.
The door slammed behind her.
And neither of them moved...
both bleeding in different places,
both already missing what they’d just destroyed.
**********************************************************************
The week passed by slowly;
Gemma stopped talking to Diego completely. Not out of spite, she just didn’t know what she would say if she opened her mouth. And Collins… her feelings for him faded without her realizing it . She was slowly starting to miss Diego but she just couldn't bring herself to apologize. She didn’t text him anymore. Didn’t wait for him in the hallways. It was like he had never mattered as much as she once thought he did.
School moved on without her.
Teachers started mentioning midterm exams. Study guides were handed out. Whispers of summer break filled the classrooms, beach plans, road trips, freedom. Everyone seemed lighter.
Everyone except Gemma.
She couldn’t explain why.
After classes one afternoon, she took the longer hallway; the quieter one. The one she usually avoided.
That’s when she saw him.
Diego stood by the lockers, his arm slung easily around a cheerleader’s shoulders. The girl laughed at something he said, head tilted toward him like she belonged there.
Diego noticed Gemma.
Just for a second.
Their eyes met; and then he looked away. Just… looked away. Like it didn’t matter. Like she didn’t.
He kept smiling. Kept laughing.
Something in her chest tightened.
Gemma turned and walked faster, her footsteps echoing too loudly in her ears. She didn’t know why it hurt. She didn’t know why it mattered. She just knew she didn’t want to be there another second.
Without thinking, her feet carried her outside.
The football field was empty, the grass stretched wide and quiet under the afternoon sun. She climbed the spectator steps and dropped onto a bench, shoulders slumping forward.
She exhaled.
Then she reached into her bag, pulled out her headphones, and pressed play.
The music filled her ears, drowning out the world; but not her thoughts.
Her gaze drifted across the field as the song played, the wind brushing against her skin. She hugged her arms around herself, feeling strangely hollow.
She told herself it was nothing.
But her chest still ached.
Footsteps thudded against the track.
Gemma barely noticed at first; until they slowed, then stopped.
“Didn’t expect to see you here.”
She looked up.
Chris stood a few feet away, hands on his hips, sweat darkening the collar of his shirt. He looked like he’d been mid-run before spotting her.
She pulled one earcup off. “Hey.”
“What are you doing hiding out on the field?” he asked, half-smiling.
She shrugged. “Just needed space.”
Chris nodded like that made sense. Then he snorted. “Fair ..... I've been meaning to tell you, you were a menace that night " he laughed and bumped her shoulder.
Her stomach dropped.
“What do you mean?”
He laughed, shaking his head. “Gemma, you were wrecked. I still can’t believe you chugged three cups like that. Straight up fearless.”
Heat crept up her neck. She looked away, embarrassed, picking at the seam of her sleeve.
“Honestly,” Chris added, “thank God Diego was there. Who knows what you would’ve done otherwise.”
That did it.
She turned back to him, sharp. “He wasn’t that much help. He kissed me.”
Chris blinked. Once. Then frowned.
“…No. You kissed him.”
Her breath hitched. “What?”
“Yeah,” he said slowly. “You leaned in. You were all over him. Man barely had time to react.”
Her heart started racing. “No....no, that’s not....”
“You even tried to keep going,” Chris continued, not unkind, just honest. “Diego pulled back when you said Collins’s name.”
The world tilted.
“So… I started it?” she whispered.
Chris nodded. “Yep.”
She swallowed hard. “I accused him. I.....” Her voice cracked. “I blamed him.”
Chris sighed. “Yeah. You kinda did.”
They stood there in silence, the weight of it sinking in.
“…You should apologize,” he said gently.
She nodded, barely breathing. “Yeah. I should.”
“And soon,” he added, glancing toward the school. “Bro’s not okay.”
Before she could ask what that meant, Chris checked his watch, muttered something about ruining his run, and jogged off the way he came.
Gemma stayed seated for a moment longer.
Then she stood, slid her headphones back into her bag, and headed out......her chest tight, her thoughts louder than any song.
- Writer
