Ice Cold Heart

Chapter 7

Jacob and I had been on a steady path lately.

We weren’t officially a couple, but if anyone saw us together, they probably would’ve assumed we were. We spent almost every day together, held hands whenever we could, cuddled when we were alone, and kissed more times than I could count.

Honestly, I didn’t even know what we were anymore.

All I knew was that I was happy.

I’d never been around someone who could make me feel that way without even trying. Jacob didn’t have to take me anywhere fancy or buy me anything. Sometimes all he had to do was smile at me, and suddenly whatever was bothering me didn’t seem so important anymore.

His smile was probably one of my favorite things about him.

It was contagious.

Whenever he smiled, I couldn’t help smiling too.

Somewhere along the way, I’d completely forgotten about the bet.

Or maybe I hadn’t forgotten. Maybe I’d just stopped caring about it.

Either way, I hadn’t thought about Benji’s stupid dare in weeks, and thankfully, my parents hadn’t been home much either. That gave me a little breathing room. I didn’t have to worry about my dad questioning where I was going or who I was spending my time with.

Most afternoons, Jacob and I were either at his house, at mine, or somewhere together.

We’d gone on little dates, grabbed food after school, walked around town, and sometimes just sat in his room talking about absolutely nothing.

I’d also gotten closer to Lucy.

She was surprisingly cool once you got to know her. We had one thing in common that I never expected—both of us loved watching Untold Stories of the ER.

Jacob, however, absolutely hated watching it.

Every time Lucy and I put it on, he’d sit beside me with his arms crossed, his lips pushed into a pout.

“You guys seriously enjoy watching people suffer?” he’d complain.

I’d laugh.

“It’s educational.”

“It’s disgusting.”

“It’s interesting.”

“It’s disgusting,” he’d repeat.

Then he’d turn his head away from the television while secretly peeking at the screen every few minutes.

It was honestly adorable whenever he got like that.

I don’t think he realized how cute he was.

⸻

It was lunchtime now, and I was walking toward the outdoor tables where Jacob usually sat with J’adore.

Except today, he was alone.

I slowed down as I approached.

His tray of food had been pushed to the side, completely untouched, while he sat with his phone in his hand. His eyes were focused on the screen, and one of his legs bounced underneath the table.

I walked over and sat beside him.

He looked up.

The second he saw me, his expression softened into a smile.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

I glanced around.

“Where’s your friend?”

“She had some extra work to do,” Jacob said, shrugging. “So it’s just me.”

He placed his phone on the table.

“Do you mind if I join you?” I asked with a smirk.

He gave me a confused look.

“Not at all. Where are your friends?”

“In the cafeteria.”

Jacob tilted his head.

“Then…?”

“I wanted to be with you.”

I reached under the table and took his hand, lacing my fingers through his.

His eyes dropped to our hands.

For a second, he didn’t say anything.

Then he looked back at me.

“Are you playing with me?”

His voice was quieter now.

I frowned.

“What?”

“I heard some of your teammates questioning why we’re friends all of a sudden.”

I sighed.

“They’re just being nosy.”

Jacob looked down at our hands.

“One of them said maybe you thought it would be funny to play around with me. To make me think we’re actually friends.”

His voice cracked slightly at the end.

I felt my jaw tighten.

I wanted to find whoever said that and knock some sense into them.

Jacob wasn’t some joke.

He wasn’t something to pass the time.

And I hated that he even had a reason to question how I felt about him.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he said.

I looked into his eyes.

“I’m not playing with you, Jacob.”

He stayed quiet.

“I mean, come on,” I continued. “Do you really think friends kiss and cuddle every chance they get?”

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

“You know how I feel about you.”

He looked away, but I could see the blush spreading across his cheeks.

For a few seconds, neither of us spoke.

I squeezed his hand.

“Let me take you out tonight.”

His eyes came back to mine.

“Tonight?”

“Yeah.”

He smiled.

“Okay.”

That little smile returned, and I immediately felt better knowing I had managed to pull him out of his sadness.

I hated seeing him upset.

Maybe because I knew I was capable of being the reason for it.

And that scared me more than I wanted to admit.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my friends walking toward us.

I instinctively started to loosen my grip on Jacob’s hand.

Then I remembered that our hands were hidden beneath the table.

They wouldn’t see.

So I kept holding him.

They all had different expressions as they approached, but Tristan gave me an apologetic look.

He knew I wanted to be alone with Jacob.

“Z, what are you doing out here?” Britney asked as she sat down. “Who’s this?”

I looked at her.

“I’m talking to Jacob.”

Everyone turned toward him.

Jacob smiled politely.

“It’s that Jacob kid,” Mason said with a laugh. “The nerd that called Benji an i***t in math class.”

Jacob’s smile didn’t disappear.

I could tell he was trying his best not to let their comments bother him.

“What are you guys doing out here?” I asked.

“We were looking for you since you didn’t come back,” Britney said.

Her eyes moved between me and Jacob, and there was something strange about the way she looked at him.

Then she looked at his hair.

“You look like a female with your hair so long.”

The others laughed.

I watched Jacob carefully.

I expected him to look embarrassed.

Instead, that little smile stayed on his face.

“That’s okay,” he said casually. “Zaiden likes it.”

The laughter stopped.

The entire table went silent.

My eyes widened.

I don’t think Jacob realized what he’d just said.

Everyone was staring at me.

Jacob slowly looked around the table before his eyes landed on me.

“What?” I asked, trying to sound annoyed instead of embarrassed.

Britney opened her mouth, but Mason quickly jumped in.

“N-nothing.”

He cleared his throat.

“Anyway, there’s gonna be a party Friday night at my house.”

He grinned and gave Ricky a high five.

“You coming?”

I shook my head.

“Can’t.”

Mason’s smile faded.

“Bruh, you haven’t hung out with us outside of school in like a month and a half. What’s going on with you?”

I looked at Jacob.

I was supposed to sleep over at his house Friday night.

Jacob must’ve noticed the look on my face because he gave me a small nod, silently telling me it was okay.

I looked back at my friends.

“I have things to do Friday. Maybe next time.”

Tristan glanced at me but didn’t say anything.

“How about we all go bowling Saturday?” he suggested, probably trying to change the subject.

Everyone started talking about it, but I barely listened.

My attention was still on Jacob.

His thumb gently brushed against the back of my hand underneath the table.

And somehow, that tiny gesture meant more to me than anything else happening around us.

⸻

Later that evening, I found myself sitting beside my dad at a baseball game.

A couple of his friends had come along too, and surprisingly, I was actually enjoying myself.

Baseball had always been one of my favorite sports.

The atmosphere was electric. The crowd cheered every time someone stepped up to bat, and whenever the players made a good play, the entire stadium seemed to erupt.

I leaned back in my seat, sipping my Sprite as I watched the game.

My favorite team was the New York Yankees, and I couldn’t help getting caught up in the excitement.

For a while, I completely forgot I was sitting beside my dad.

I was just enjoying the game.

By the time it ended, the crowd was going wild.

The winning team had pulled it off, and their supporters were celebrating all around us.

I smiled.

Part of me actually wanted to join a baseball team.

I’d been thinking about it for a while.

But I already knew my father would have something to say about it.

He always did.

My phone suddenly vibrated in my pocket.

I pulled it out.

Jacob 💖

Hey Zai, I’m home safe and sound 😌

I smiled immediately.

I’d told Jacob to text me whenever he got home safely, especially on the days he had to leave school by himself.

And he did.

Every single time.

It was such a small thing, but I appreciated it more than he knew.

I started typing a response.

Good, I was wondering—

“Damn faggot.”

My fingers froze.

I slowly looked up.

“What?”

I looked at my dad, confused and suddenly nervous.

For a second, I thought he’d seen my phone.

But he wasn’t looking at me.

He was glaring toward the field.

I followed his gaze.

The captain of the winning team was walking toward the locker room.

My father’s friends had also turned their attention toward him.

“Who are you talking about?” I asked.

“Him,” my dad said.

He pointed toward the player.

“Why is he still on the team if he’s gay?”

My stomach dropped.

I stared at my father.

“Because being gay has nothing to do with baseball, Dad.”

I rolled my eyes and looked back down at my phone, pretending his words didn’t bother me.

But they did.

More than I wanted them to.

“To me, it does,” he said. “Ain’t no way a gay person could be on my team.”

I slowly shook my head.

I didn’t know what to say.

My father had always been very clear about the kind of man he expected me to become.

Strong.

Successful.

A football player.

A leader.

Someone who would carry on the family name exactly the way he wanted.

And now, sitting beside him, I suddenly realized something I’d been trying not to think about.

If he ever found out about Jacob…

What would happen?

I looked down at my phone again.

Jacob was still waiting for my reply.

I pushed the thoughts away and finished typing.

I’m glad to hear that. Can’t wait to see you tonight. ❤️

I pressed send.

Then I slipped my phone back into my pocket and stared out at the emptying stadium.

For the first time, I wasn’t thinking about the bet.

I wasn’t thinking about Benji.

I wasn’t even thinking about the party.

I was thinking about my father.

And about how much I had to lose if he ever found out that the person making me happier than I’d ever been was another boy.