Where Loyalties Lie

18

After slipping the tube in my pocket, I retrieved the pans from the stove and put food on both our plates. “Thanks for cooking. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I got out of the shower and could smell the food.” She dug in the second I sat down and lifted my fork. “With enough adrenaline coursing through your system, you could have a gunshot wound and not even know it, let alone hunger pangs. It’s a powerful substance.” Her curious gaze flitted to mine. “Do you know that from personal experience? The part about the gunshot wound?” “I do.” “Does that mean you saw active duty?” “I participated in active missions for about seven years.” She lowered her water glass from her full lips. “That’s a long time.” “I’m an old man compared to you.” She barked out a humorless laugh. “That sounds like a pity party if I’ve ever heard one, and I’ve thrown my fair share.” “There’s nothing pitiful about it. I was merely pointing out that you’re practically a child, and I’m sure seven years sounds like an eternity to you.” The tension in the room quickly escalated to a stifling degree. “As someone who’s probably been through some horrible s**t, you should understand that age is just a number. Whatever you experienced during active duty would age even the youngest soldier. The same holds true for me. Unless you know what I’ve been through and the things I’ve seen, don’t assume you know me. I haven’t been a child for a very long time.” Her eyes blazed with ferocity. Indignation. Passion. Those were the most words I’d heard out of her mouth at one time, and I wanted to lap up every bit of that emotion and drain her dry until she was languid and lost in my bed. It was the last place my brain needed to go. After her outburst, we both ate quietly for long minutes. I attempted to ignore the lascivious voice gaining control in the back of my mine, concentrating on more important things, like the silver watch Emily wore where her sweatband had been. Interesting. Coincidence? Possibly. She patted her mouth with her napkin when she was done and put her hands in her lap. “That was delicious, thank you. And I meant to tell you earlier, you have a great apartment.” “It suited all my needs, including a parking spot in the basement garage. That’s not easy to find around here.” “No kidding! When I first moved, I was stunned at how expensive a freaking parking spot was in the city. Needless to say, I won’t be buying a car.” “I would get rid of mine, but I travel on occasion, so it’s necessary.” “Where all have you been?” “All over the world.” “Okay,” she said in a sing-song voice. “What’s your favorite place you’ve been?” “Probably the Swiss Alps in the summer. Everything is green and blooming, and it’s quite breathtaking. What about you?” She smiled sadly. “I’m afraid I’ve never been much of anywhere. That’s why moving to the city was such a big deal for me. I’d love to travel one day, once I get this mess over with.” Her eyes dropped to her plate, zoning out for a moment before she stood and flashed an empty smile. “I’ll do the dishes. It’s only fair since you cooked.” I carried my own plate to the sink and helped with the cleanup. I’d been on my own far too long to sit and watch while someone else cleaned my kitchen. We worked companionably, getting the kitchen spotless in a matter of minutes. “I’d love to offer you a guest bed, but there isn’t one. The couch will have to do. I hope that’s okay.” “Of course.” “Good, then I’ll grab some blankets before I get in the shower, and you can make yourself comfortable.” I brought out all the spare bedding I had, then headed to the shower before I was tempted to do something stupid. I stripped down and stepped into the battering spray, hoping it would wash away the desire that sparked in my veins every time I got close to Emily. Electric shocks pricked against my skin with the need to touch her. Holding myself back made it infinitely worse. I had needed a minute away from her to rein myself in, but my plan seemed to backfire. The soothing caress of the water only served to arouse my pulsing lust, rather than douse it. Before long, I had a stranglehold on my c**k, stroking myself with white-knuckled need. The need to free myself from my desire. The need to regain my control. The need to sink myself inside her. All of it collided into a thundercloud of lethal fury and sweltering desire. Within minutes, my abs clenched and flexed, and my thighs trembled with impending release. Two more bruising pumps of my fist, and c*m rocketed out from deep in my balls. The pressure inside me instantly ebbed as endorphins coursed through my veins. It was my belief that lust was chemical. A simple bodily function that could be controlled without subjecting myself to the cloud of drama involved in being with a woman. In the past, my assertion had held true. I was able to retain control without lust taking over and warping my decisions. My desire for Emily seemed to be different. Even a release hardly served to diminish my consuming hunger for her. Within minutes, the pressure coiling my muscles was back and screaming for only one thing, but I refused to give in. Instead, I walked through the litany of reasons being with Emily would be a wretched idea and regained my control by sheer force of will. Assuaging my growing need drew out my shower longer than I would have liked, especially knowing Emily was unsupervised in my apartment. My gut told me she wasn’t a threat to me—at least, not in a physical sense —but you could never be too careful. I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, noticing Emily had left her bag on the floor tucked between the toilet and the vanity. I wrapped a towel around me and placed her bag on the counter, unzipping the nylon duffel. At the bottom, under her wadded-up, dirty clothes, was a red leather wallet. I immediately examined its contents. Cash and no credit cards, as I’d suspected. A subway MetroCard, a reward punch card for a nail salon, two quarters, and a small key. It looked like it belonged to a lock box. I had no doubt the contents of said box would be interesting, but the key itself did little for me. I started to close the wallet but decided to do one last search just in case. The credit card slots appeared empty, but this time, I slid my finger in each one and happened to notice a paper tucked inside the top slot. Not just a paper—a photograph. It was a picture of Emily with two small children, all three of them grinning widely, posed in front of a series of brightly colored porch umbrellas by a waterway. The picture might have been a couple of years old, but no more than that. The younger of the two kids was about three and clung to Emily like the two were very close.