Chapter Eleven-What the hell am I?
1339 Words
I pace the kitchen barefoot while sweat cools on my skin, and rage simmers just beneath the surface. Something is wrong with me. No. Not wrong.
Different.
The voice in my head has been louder today, more insistent, and not a whisper that I can put down to feelings anymore. It talks to me. Laughs. Mocks me. And I feel like I’m losing it because the more I try to deny what’s happening, the more she…awakens?
Oh, God.
Finally waking up, kitten?
“Shut up,” I whisper, my voice a terrified tremble mixed with unshed tears.
Poor baby. So lonely and pathetic and too afraid to take what you want. What you need.
The door opens behind me, and I stiffen. Of course, it’s him. Because why would it not be when I’m already dealing with this crap. Adam steps into the room like he owns the Goddamn air, his eyes scanning me with wolf-like precision.
“You look flushed.”
“You look smug.”
“You’re burning again,” he counters, smirking when I slap a hand over my mouth to conceal a snarl.
Stop!
Nope. Now that you know what I am, I’m proudly out. I’m not going back into that box.
“I’m pissed, actually.” I mutter, ignoring the smug i***t who lives in my head.
An i***t who isn’t me, because apparently, everything Adam said is true. I’ve been infected with werewolf virus or something and now I’m…different. God.
He watches me carefully, every move slow and deliberate, and then his eyes turn gentle, and that’s the last thing I need. I prefer arrogant. Cocky. Annoying. Because it helps me keep him exactly where I need to. In the ‘off limits’ box.
“You dreamed about me again.”
“I dreamed about setting you on fire.” I hiss, but he doesn’t get angry.
He smiles.
I grab the nearest object, a spatula, and point it at him because I want to hurt him.
“I woke up with a bite mark on my shoulder. Explain that.” I snap, my throat working on a swallow of pure terror when I feel the site of the bite throb in response.
“You’re turning.” Adam says softly, that gentleness growing even more intent when I sniffle and shake my head.
“No…What?”
“Your body’s waking up, jeera. Your animal side. The bond is pulling at your instincts and giving your animal more power.”
“I am not an animal.” I rage, the urge to panic, to lose my mind, riding me so hard it feels like I’m going to explode.
Adam moves closer, his gaze locked to mine. Steady. Determined. Filled with a kindness I’ve longed for but never had. Until now.
“You’re changing, Rogue. My bite injected mating hormone into you and…I can’t explain it because I didn’t know this was possible, but you’re becoming a shifter. You’re turning.”
My mind blanks, and I shake my head because that isn’t possible.
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not. You can feel it, can’t you? The strength, the rage, the need.” Adam purrs, coming so close, I bring the spatula up and shake my head violently.
“I’m not like you.” I sob, my eyes blurring with tears until all I see of him is a murky outline. “Stop. Stop saying this stuff. It isn’t real. None of it is real. Werewolves don’t exist. You’re a lunatic…you’re…what did you do to me, Fury? What the f**k did you do?” I scream, my anger growing until I feel like I’ll lose it on him.
I feel violent, and that isn’t me. I’m sarcastic and snarky,but it’s usually good-natured. This overload of fury isn’t me. It’s…her.
“You’re more than me,” he says, stepping so close I feel his heat again. “You’re a miracle, Rogue. I had to leave. I’m the Fury Alpha, a male expected to mate a strong, Alpha female. I left for you. For us. Because there was no way I could mate a human, no matter what my wolf sensed. You were weak. Unfit. Unsuitable. And now...now you’re….”
I swallow hard.
“What?” I snap, my emotions roiling at his words because he’s throwing things at me as if my very humanity was an insult to him.
I didn’t see this when he was flirting with me, taking me on dates, and seducing me. I sure as s**t didn’t see this side of him when he was kissing me and f*****g me.
He leans in, brushing my hair aside.
“Mine.” Adam rasps, smiling until I snarl and slap his hand away.
“Yours? Think again, great Alpha of your stupid pack. I’m not yours, and you know what, I don’t want to be. I refuse to be with a man—”
“Male. My kind are not men. We are males.” Adam cuts in, scowling when I shove him away with a curse and stalk to the sink to glare out of the window at the backyard.
My home is small. A tiny single-story with two small bedrooms, a living room, and a kitchen that looks out towards the woods. It’s not much, but it’s warm, clean, and safe. At least it used to be. Until he showed up.
“Male. Whatever. I don’t give a damn what you call yourselves. I don’t give a f**k about any of it because I’m not yours and I never will be. I won’t be with a man who used me—”
“I didn’t—”
“Oh, yes you f*****g did,” I rage, turning to sneer at him because I’m furious, hurt…humiliated by his assessment of me and still reeling from what I woke to. “You flirted. You charmed me. You seduced me, all while knowing you wouldn’t stay because, what? I wasn’t suitable? The little human wasn’t good enough to marry or mate, but I was good enough to screw! You made me fall for you, you took my virginity, and then you left because I wasn’t good enough. Well, guess what, asshole. You’re not good enough for me.” I hiss, ignoring the animal in my head when she whimpers and starts to growl as if I’ve somehow done something wrong.
Screw them both.
“Rogue…jeera…you can’t mean any of that. You and I are fated. Meant to be.” Adam snaps, his body seeming to grow the more upset he gets.
“You didn’t seem to think so after you screwed me and left.” I snort, my jaw grinding when he snarls and stands taller, looking so hot in a suit and tie, I want to touch him.
All over.
“I just explained—”
“That your wolf thing, whatever it is, said I was your mate, but despite knowing it, you wouldn’t do anything decent because I wasn’t good enough. You still f****d me. Intending to leave. You used me, Adam Fury, and that’s the truth. Don’t sugar coat it, and don’t you dare stand there looking affronted because I’m calling you out. You’re nothing but a…bigot, and I won’t be with a man, sorry male,” I sneer with a derisive laugh. “Who thought I was trash until he came back and figured out I’m a shifter now.”
Adam growls, shaking his head but I’m not about to let him bullshit me. I’m hanging on by a thread, I’m dying from the heat that woke me, along with the voice that’s so different, so…other, I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner.
“None of that matters anymore. You’re mine. I mated you.” Adam huffs arrogantly, smirking until I quirk a brow and remind him of one, teeny, but completely fundamental fact.
“Not fully. You never sealed the bond. Remember?”
- Writer
