21 Going numb
1739 Words
As if time had reminded, somehow the entire group had invited yet another person into Max’s room, only this time it was the shy creative genius, Lina Kusonoki, who still had absolutely no grasp on exactly what was happening at this point. Her eyes hopped from member to member, who in her mind, was each staring at her with incredible intensity. This caused her to be a little bit shyer and closed off.
“S-so what am I doing here, Max?” she asked, still clearly uncomfortable with the situation.
“Right, so yeah. We would like to invite you to join us on our little project… we want you to be our graphic designer!”
“Graphic designer of what… exactly?”
“Our...comffhssmany,” Max said, purposely mumbling the second word.
“I-I'm so sorry, I couldn’t hear...”
“Oh, it's nothing! It's just comphssshh”
“What?”
“Our...company,” he said in a slight whisper.
Her eyes widened with surprise before her face formed an expression that said it all. Her shy expression formed a somewhat gloomy face, which was mixed with both regret and discomfort. It was as if her facial expression alone was telling the others that she was sorry and that she could not bring herself to say yes. Before she could speak, Max cut her off in an attempt to bring her over to their side.
“W-wait! Hold on Lina, please let us pitch our idea! I’m sure that everything we have already will make it easier for you to say yes,” Max said, giving her a hard and determined stare.
She could not match his eye contact but gave him a slight nod. This let Max breathe a quiet sigh of relief, as he readied the same presentation that he used for Charlie. With a few clicks of his mouse, the presentation was up and running. Without a hitch, Max delivered a perfectly flawless presentation and left himself available so that Lina could ask any questions.
“So this is a tech company, e-essentially?” she asked, her eyes still on the data on the screen.
“Yes, and what we want to deliver is quality programming, as well as software safety.”
“And you want me...because?”
“Because we need someone to help us gain traction as a company, retain attention, and form a comfortable vibe that would make people want to buy our product,”
“So your first project is the one where you...uhh...make things easier for the clerks in the school?”
“Yes, the POS system.”
“And the second one is… the net security software?”
“That’s right!”
“Umm, ok ok let me just think this over...”
She sat quietly and looked over the information again, and shook her head.
“I’m sorry I don’t think I can do it...”
Max’s expression sank as he looked at the distraught artist.
“Why not?” he asked.
“It’s not a matter of whether I can or can’t do it… It’s more of like, I’m just not sure this is the right choice for me to make at the moment.”
“What do you mean by that?” Charlie asked, butting into the conversation. “We will have capital soon enough, and on top of that we will pay you!”
“That’s right! If it’s about the money, we can get you the money once we start making deals with other companies!” Jules added.
“That and we don’t bite! We all pretty nice people, ain’t we?” Trae added as well.
“W-well you all have been really welcoming, and I really appreciate that… but...”
“But what?” Max asked her.
She gave out a long sigh and looked back to meet Max’s eyes for the first time.
“I’m already set to work somewhere else...”
She tugged on her sleeves and gently grasped her wrists while looking down to the floor.
Max sat back on his chair, a little shocked from what he had just heard. He shook his head in disbelief.
“Really?”
“Yeah...”
“If it’s ok… where are you going to work?”
She shook her head.
“It’s another company. It’s one that has already been established. It’s a graphic design firm. I’m currently an intern, but they said that they want me on board once I graduate. I’m sorry.”
She then stood up from her chair.
“I’ll excuse myself now,” she said, as she walked out the door, and gently closed it behind her.
The group just sat there dumbfounded. They had not taken into account whether any of their potential new members had been recruited beforehand. Of course, this should have been one of the first things on their mind considering they had their eyes on the best and the brightest in NYIU, which is home of the cream of the crop students in America. Max sat down and put his hands in his face. Jules quickly sat next to him and put her hand on his back.
“I had no idea, you guys. I totally missed this possibility in my research!” he said, frustrated.
“It’s not your fault Max, we all missed this too,” Jules said, trying to comfort him.
“Yeah, plus those graphic artists are a diamond dozen! You’ve seen what it was like in the Fine Arts area. There’s no shortage of any creatives we can get in touch with,” Trae added.
Some parts of Max accepted those words, while the other parts of him said he only wanted the best of the best. It was this inner conflict he had in himself that was so frustrated. He wanted to push her to be a part of their team but did not want to force her, especially if this was a choice that she made on her own. There was one thing that had Max on the edge of either decision, however. The way she looked before she left, he could swear, was definitely regret. Was she regretful that she couldn’t join? Or was it because she regretted even coming here. Whatever the answer was, it racked Max’s brain. He did not want to just give up on her that quickly. He was sure that she was one of the missing pieces, and that it had to be her. If anything more, he just wanted to figure out what that expression was, before putting the possibility of her joining them to rest. It seems Charlie caught onto this sentiment that Max had, and already had his back.
“You’re not satisfied with that… are you Max?” Charlie said, looking right into Max’s eyes.
He shook his head and smiled over at Charlie.
“You already know what you need to do… right?”
“Yeah.”
“So what the hell are you still doing here?”
Max stood up and ran out of the room, leaving the other three sitting inside. Jules transferred over to Max’s seat and let out a long sigh.
“I don’t know how I feel about him running after another girl like that,” she said, clearly as a joke.
“I actually have questions about that Jules. Why ain’t you and Max official yet?” Trae asked out of pure curiosity.
“Well… I’m not sure he’s ready you know?”
“And why’s that?” Charlie chimed in.
She looked out the window and looked out into the rest of the campus.
“I think that he has his eyes set on something other than me right now…”
The other two boys looked at her in silence and nodded their heads, knowing exactly what she meant. Trae knew full well what Max was doing this for and even if Charlie was relatively new, he knew it as well. Max had his eyes set on the ultimate goal, and firmly fixed his gaze onto it. Revenge, or success. Whatever it was, they knew that all of his energy was going into that.
“That’s why for now, I will support him in the best way that I can,” Jules said, smiling at her two confidants.
Trae patted her on the shoulder and smiled.
“We got you… aight?”
She smiled back, before leaving the room herself, with Charlie following soon after. All they could do now was have faith in their leader.
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Lina had walked all the way back to the Fine Arts area. She ducked and weaved through the hectic surroundings, as she was clearly used to it at that point. All of the students in the area would say hello as she passed by, as it seemed she was particularly well known there. Not only that, but she would look on at the different communities in the Fine Arts area and see them get along in different ways. As much as it was chaos, the idea of people in the midst of mess creating something and bringing these things to life, was marvelous to her. From poems to paintings, to music, to design, she had an immense appreciation for the kind of freedom that these students were given. It was her sanctuary. However, she sighed, knowing that before long, she would be taken from this place and limited in her endeavors. She looked down sadly at her wrists and tugged on her sleeves, bringing them all the way over her hands.
“If only I could keep this kind of freedom forever,” she whispered to herself, as she made her way back to the fourth floor. She entered her solitary room and dropped her bag by the table. She went back to the sketch that she had been working on prior to Max’s initial interruption earlier in the day.
“Maybe this one will be good enough for them?” she said as she put finishing touches on the design that she had been working on. “...this is the fourth pitch I’ve sent them after all.”
Her mind wandered back to Max and his friends. Everything that she heard sounded so well thought out and set up to succeed. Every part of her wanted to join them, except for the one part that said she had to pick security over this leap of faith project. She knew that even if Max and his company would succeed, there was never a guarantee that they would. And where would that leave her, she thought.
“I have to choose what will be good for me… even if it means sacrificing a little bit of that freedom that I love.”
She continued to work on her sketch, and let herself be numb to the feelings that she had towards the company that she would eventually join. At some point in her stay there, that feeling of being bright-eyed and inspired had faded into something that just made her content to do what they said. After all, it was all about security. Right? She stopped writing, as tears started to fall onto the table. They pooled on the pale yellow paper before being absorbed. With her free hand, she reached into her bag and fumbled for a specific tool she needed precisely for times like this.
- Writer
