My Broken Nemesis

Non-encounter

He gave this smile which I thought said “Have you had enough view time?” — Like he knew I had been staring forever.

My pulse jumped. Every second stretched unbearably long, the clink of cups and the hum of conversation fading under the thud of my heartbeat. I dropped my eyes to the table, unsure if I should smile, wave, or pretend like I hadn’t been staring at him just seconds ago.

He kept coming, coffee cup balanced loosely in one hand, his expression unreadable. For a flicker of a moment, I was sure he was about to stop in front of me.

I was embarrassed and looked away. I still felt his gaze upon me as he walked right towards our direction, not minding the silent whispers. I felt like I was going to be confronted.

I noticed I was the only one at my table that had been looking. The others were not as interested as I was in this new fellow. When did looking at somebody become a crime? I tried to justify my act internally.

I raised my head up again to confirm. To make sure I wasn’t imagining things.

He really was coming towards me. My heart pounded, I was going to be that person in the new guy’s black book — his first victim. My Offense…? Looking! That would definitely make a hilarious headline on Anna’s blog.

I looked up at Anna, she was busy on her phone, probably updating her blog. Jane on the other hand was helplessly trying to find something from her bag. I felt betrayed, I thought we were all going to be studying the new specimen.

But it was just me, others didn’t pay him that close attention — as much as I did.

To them, he was just a subject, a topic for the day, a trend at that moment, The new guy with some story. But I saw something more than that.

I am just going to apologize to him, I thought. I felt cold shivers as he got closer, I could perceive the gentle spray of his cologne, It made me want to smile as it painted to me the scenario of a sunlit beach with the warmth of tropical island, palm trees dancing to the tune of the cool island breeze.

But as immediately as I filled my head with such fine thoughts, I remembered my predicament and kept a straight face. Though I could feel my heart pounding with a solid thud-thud like a warning I chose to ignore.

I tried distracting myself by looking blindly at the textbook right in front of me. I pretended to be reading, but the words didn’t seem clear at that moment.

They floated, blurred and shifted on the page and like my mind, refused to stay still. My eyes were following the lines but my thoughts were with him, all messy.

I flipped the page just to make it look like I was focused. The truth was, I couldn’t stop myself from being scared.

He got closer to our table and in a brief turn, he headed straight to the exit behind me. I heaved a sigh of relief because the worse could have happened. But it didn’t.

Not yet.

He passed me without a word, the warm scent of his coffee brushing my senses. And just like that, I realized—he hadn’t been walking toward me at all.

I turned to make sure he was really gone. Then I stared down at my drink, reached for it and took a big gulp down my throat. I pretended to be unbothered while taking deep, heavy, breaths to calm my rattled nerves.

“Okay, what was that?” Anna asked, narrowing her eyes at me. I guess she caught me watch him from behind as he left.

“What was what?” I replied too quickly, rubbing the lid of my drink, like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

“Don’t even try it,” Jane chimed in with a grin. “I know that look, you just watched him leave like he was your long- lost soulmate walking away”.

“More like you were about to get up and follow him,” Anna teased.

“I was not!” I protested.

“Oh, you were, Jane said, laughing. “You didn’t blink for like, a full minute there. “I was about to check if you were still breathing, because it seemed like you weren’t.

“Jane!” I whispered sharply, looking around to make sure no one heard — not that anyone was listening. Just groups of students at different tables having their own moments. I wondered if any of them were having the same conversation as ours here.

“Guys, please,” I groaned, “It was nothing. I was just… wondering if he knows about the stories that’s been going on about him. That’s all.”

“Hmm, sure,” Anna said, with a funny smile on her face.

“Both of you are unbelievable,” I muttered, I opened my mouth to defend myself more, but I had nothing. Because, maybe…they were right. But I didn’t let it show.

I didn’t say a word about our little ‘non-encounter’ that day to my friends. We ended the day like we always did — a few laughs, a couple complaints about school, and plans we probably wouldn’t follow through with.

After my second class, I went home and couldn’t stop seeing his face in my head — over and over again, like it was a beautiful art piece on display at a museum, never to be forgotten.

He made my experience with him a memorable one — just not in the way I’d hoped.

It was nothing like the beautiful art piece at a museum, as I had imagined.