Unnoticed

Entry 021

Is it even possible, to hate and like a person all at the same time?

I hate him for making me feel this way, for making me feel jealous for all the unreasonable ways, for making me feel like an i***t. But I like him too, for being here with me at the times that I didn’t think that I needed someone. I like him for making me feel my own existence, for making me feel happy at the most unexpected ways.

I sighed as I look at the tip of my mug. A coffee stain was visible on the white porcelain. Dirt, stain…just like what I was feeling right now. I shouldn’t feel this. He was just a friend but what I'm feeling was out of our boundaries. I can’t love him, not today. My feelings for him is a stain for our friendship, and I should clean this up. I should stop this.

I took a glimpse of him, he was