A ray of hope
1483 Words
Alex:
I was reading her expressions while revealing her about the promise I made to myself. I promised myself that I will not be a coward and if Mrs. Colton would ask me to leave her, I will remain by her side. I will leave everything in this world, but not her, if that’s what Nicolle decides. She had tears in her eyes and I wanted to wipe them and tell her that no one can force me to do that.
I want her to understand the depth of my feelings. So, I made sure to tell her that there is just one person. She didn’t take the hint. I know she is a tube light. She takes some time to glow.
And when she got it, I saw her face relax and she hugged me passionately. All I wanted was to hold her and declare my love for her. But somehow, I felt cheated.
She made this trip look like she was leaving me and it made my heart shatter God knows how many times. She could have just asked me if she wanted me to come with her and stay for some time. I was already agreeing to all her demands back there.
I told her what I was feeling and saw that she was feeling bad about it, so I told her that I knew. I may have accidentally heard her and Sia when she was thanking her over the phone.
God, I love her so much. It practically hurts to keep my love to myself now. But I will take my time and understand what she wants. I am crazy for you girl and you have no idea what you are doing to me.
I hugged her and the way she hugged me back, I know she feels safe with me. And I swear to take care of her, till my last breath.
A loud knock broke our hug. It was Aunty. She was calling us for lunch.
“We will be there mom. Alex is still busy in his meeting.” Nicolle replied but was looking at me.
“Wow Nicolle, you are such a liar.” I whispered and she chuckled.
She hugged me back. “I am Sorry Alex. I just wanted you to come with me. You were always busy there and never had time for me. I know you always made sure I was comfortable, but it was lonely.”
“I did that on purpose. I thought for you I was a “I cleared my throat. “I thought you considered me the person who wronged you. So, I started staying in the office till late at night.”
“I am also sorry for adding red chilies to your lunch that day.” She pulled back and looked at me.
“It’s ok, you didn’t know.”
“I knew, I was just angry and wanted to blame someone. You were the easiest target.”
I can see that she was feeling bad about misunderstanding me. I didn’t say anything and took a long breath. I know she is not the only one who misunderstood me.
“Let’s just forget that part of our life. I am not a big fan of keep on living in the past. You had your downs and I have my regrets. Let's just forget all that. We have someone to welcome in our life and I am dying to meet him or her. Although I want it to be a girl. My princess.”
“Nah, it will be a boy, and he will be in my team.”
Another knock on the door and we smiled.
“Take some rest, I will get lunch for you here. You must be tired after all that crying.” I kissed her forehead again and went to open the door.
She was sleeping on my shoulders at night but I was wide awake. When I was sure she was sleeping, I took her arm and leg from me and walked downstairs. I went to the backyard and sat on the grass.
“You, ok?” I turned around and saw Nicolle’s Dad. He came and sat near me.
“Yeah. Just not sleepy, I guess.”
“It happens.” He offered me a beer and I looked at him in surprise.
“We have had dinner.”
“I know, but that was ages ago. It's the perfect time for a beer.” I chuckled and took a beer from him. He took a second and turned to me with a serious face.
“I don’t like to beat around the bush Alex. So, I want to talk straight. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. You can ask me anything.”
“So, what happens now?”
I looked at him puzzled, not sure what he was asking about.
“You were leaving that day, but stayed because Sia asked you to take care of Nicolle. But after that, what should I expect?”
“Sorry, I still don’t get it. I am here till she is ok. What do you mean after that?” Although I know she is already fine.
“You will leave once Nicolle is ok. And after that, will you come back and if you are planning to come back, after how long? And if you are not planning to come back, will you send divorce papers now or after sometime.”
“I don’t know. All I can say is whatever Nicolle decides, I will follow it. It’s her decision.” This was all I can say at this moment.
“And if she asks you to stay with her forever?”
“I will consider myself the luckiest man alive.”
He looked away for a moment as if he was thinking about something and turned back at me.
“Nicolle has suffered a lot, Alex, but I want to remind you again. She is not a charity case. Don’t do this out of pity. I have enough to take care of my daughter and her kid. I will not …”
“I Love Her.” I didn’t let him complete it and replied looking directly at him. His eyebrows frowned but I didn’t lower my gaze.
“Yes, I mean it. I Love Her and I don’t even know how much. But please don’t tell her. I realized that I can’t live without her during this trip. I want to confess my love to her, but I want to first make sure what she wants. If she feels the same about me, I will declare to the world that she is the one who stole my heart.” I said with a smile. God I am really acting like a kid. But it felt good to share my feelings with someone.
He side-hugged me and patted my back. He is a tough man, I must say.
“I was really hoping you would say this. I have seen the way you look at her. Concern, care, love, hope, fear; all expressions at the same time.”
“I am glad you noticed. I just wish Nicolle was as smart as you. Don’t get me wrong, she is … “I stopped myself and scratched my forehead. “I mean she doesn’t understand a thing. I have been giving her hints and she is all ignorant.”
“Tell me one thing, is she afraid of you?”
“Not at all, you should see how she behaves with me.” It’s true, she tried to open my library. She is not afraid of me; this I am sure of.
“Ok, then does she feel safe with you?”
“I think so. When she gets nightmares, she holds me tight and her breathing becomes normal when I hug her.”
“And she feels your pain?”
“Yeah. I had a fight with someone and she panicked thinking I was hurt.”
“Then my boy, she loves you as much as you love her.” He looked at me with a wide smile.
“Are you sure?” I can already feel myself flying high in the sky.
“Let me tell you, she will not say anything to you. You will have to initiate. She is a stubborn girl.”
I smiled and gulped down my beer. I was happy having a conversation with Uncle. I went back to the room and adjusted myself next to her. I love the feeling of her sleeping next to me.
- Writer
