Crown of Smoke

Chapter 7

Only the roosters could have been up as early as Gwen the next morning. Her eyes were full of sleep dust and her lids felt heavy, but she no longer cared. She pulled a brush through her tangled hair and pulled on a grey woollen travelling dress in an attempt to shield herself from the cold of the morning when the sun had barely risen. She had been dreading this moment ever since Hayden had shown up in her living room, but it wasn’t until her trunk sat in front of her bedroom door, packed and ready to go, that the reality sank in.

            Her steps pounded her ears she made her way down the stairs where Hayden was waiting for her. Her mother had her back turned to them, her figured bent over bowls of porridge sprinkled with sugar and drowned in honey.

            “All ready?” Hayden asked. Gwen nodded but remained silent.

She heard her father’s footsteps come down the stairs, recognisably sturdy in his heavy boots. He had dressed in his work clothes, but his hair was still sticking up in the back from lack of care. It made her smile sadly and her heartache. He and Hayden shared a sharp nod, one of understanding.

Blaine followed him next, still in his pyjamas and making a show to yawn and stretch his lanky limbs, a sly smile on his lips.

“I feel like as a farmer I should be better with mornings, but I doubt the day I wake up at this time in a pleasant mood will ever come.” He said, his joke lifting the weight of awkwardness from the room.

“You would sleep in until the afternoon if we let you.” His mother sighed, handing each of her family and Hayden a bowl of porridge. It was warm and smelled sweet. Gwen smiled, knowing that her mother had added extra sugar and honey to hers. Hayden kept looking nervously over at her as she ate. She knew it wasn’t supposed to be a judgemental stare, but with Hayden everything he did felt judgemental.

“Did you pack your thick cloak?” Her father asked.

“Yes, pa. I have one to wear on the road and one in my trunk.” Gwen replied dutifully.

“And you’re taking the farmer’s pony to carry the luggage?” Blaine asked. Gwen nodded. “Be gentle on her, she’s an i***t but if you bribe her with sugar cubes she’s a little more obedient.”

“I’ve been trained in equestrian care, don’t worry.” Hayden cut in. Blaine caught Gwen’s eye and she turned away to stop herself from bursting into a fit of laughter. She had to live with Hayden for the foreseeable future, and she wasn’t about to make him any more intolerable than usual.

“It’s not too far to Sillin, you can easily be there by nightfall even with breaks,” her mother said. “And you said you have someone there to stay with Hayden?”

“Another old friend of my father’s.” He confirmed. “I believe you might have heard of him, Harrison Astere?”

Blaine raised his brows. Harrison Astere was the owner of one of the richest farms in the West, and he charged a fortune for his products. Gwen suddenly regretted her choice of dresses, realising that this was one of the people Hayden was expecting her to impress.

It was as though Hayden could read her mind, his eyes drifting to the bird’s nest that was her hair that morning. She sighed, waiting until her mother began speaking and his attention was averted to smooth down her hair.

Her mother shot her an understanding lookGwen dropped her bowl down onto the counter and went over to hold her, pressing herself into herself into her mother’s warm and familiar embrace, not caring that she was mid-sentence. Her mother took her gently, her own hands smoothing down Gwen’s unruly hair with her chin resting on the top of her head. Hayden turned away as her father joined, wrapping his arm around the pair, tears forming in his eyes but still desperate to remain the strong pillar of the family even now. He gestured for Blaine to join, who shook his head before Elliot took his arm and dragged him over.

 It was like something from a picture book. Not the kind of books Hayden read, those were cold, emotionless. This was like the kinds of books that Gwen had grown up with, where the children were forced away from their parents to go and be the heroes. They were always sad, but after a harrowing journey when all hope seems to be lost, they would all manage to come together once again with an act born of pure love. But for Gwen, this was just the beginning of her journey and it was far more painful to see the picture final moment presented before the expedition had even begun.

They held on for as long as they could until they knew it couldn’t be delayed anymore. Blaine broke off first, his eyes sadder than before, followed by his mother. Her father was last, his hands holding onto Gwen’s shoulders.

“I feel like we haven’t even begun to tell you everything yet and you have to go.” He kissed the top of her head, a single tear falling into her hair. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Gwen whispered back, letting the moment linger before she heard Hayden clear his throat awkwardly from the doorway. Gwen shot him a look of annoyance but sighed and followed him.

“Don’t stray from the path.” Her mother said, fussing one last time.

“Please, I’ve not five years old!” Gwen chuckled, “there’s no big bad wolf unless you count my travelling companion.” Hayden pushed past her and began to load the trunks onto the cart that was already attached to the waiting pony. “What’s the horse's name?”

“Annabelle,” Blaine smirked. “But she’ll hardly answer to it.”

Gwen shrugged and smiled at the pony, Hayden’s hands running over the pony’s mane. She wandered over towards the pair of them, the breeze cradling her in its icy hands and pulling her away from the house. The sky was already beginning to cloud over in anticipation of the storm forecast that night. She pulled her cloak tighter.

“You’re ready,” Hayden said. “We need to go.”

She turned back around to the house took a deep breath, walking to the door once more but not crossing the threshold, knowing she would never be able to leave if she did.

Her mother leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

“Don’t forget to write, now.” She smiled at Gwen, as though it a short trip she was taking with school.

“And you can ask for directions, don’t let Hayden tell you otherwise,” her father cut in. Gwen nodded, the lump in her throat no longer permitting her to speak.

“This is what you’re meant to be doing, Guinevere.” Her mother said softly, her full name sounding much purer coming from her than from Hayden. “Now is your chance to go and see everything you’ve always wanted to and be more than you can imagine.” She took Gwen’s hand and squeezed them tightly. Gwen squeezed back and nodded to herself once more, forcing herself to feel certain. The wind picked up again around her and she knew that she could no longer wait. She turned away from the house and closed her eyes to force the tears back as her boots squelched in the mud.

Hayden met her with an impatient gaze as he wordlessly began to drag the pony along in a slow trundle down the wet gravel path.

“I love you!” Gwen screamed back at the house, realising she hadn’t said it before. She heard no reply, the wind whistling in her ears. She ran a little to keep with Hayden as the house began to shrink behind them as the unknown stretched out ahead.