THE SHALLOWS

Chapter 11: Three Names, Two Bowls

r/BellhavenEats — modmail

From: r/BellhavenEats

To: u/lightfeather

Subject: You have been banned from r/BellhavenEats

You have been banned from r/BellhavenEats.

You can still read the sub. You can't post, comment, or vote in it for 10 days.

Your post from earlier today was removed, and the ban follows the removal. The note on the removal reads: undisclosed promotion.

You can reply to this message and a moderator will read it. Coming back on a second account doesn't shorten the ban.

— the mod team

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[messages] · u/lunch_dana

u/lightfeather — 3:51 p.m.

I tried to comment on your drink post and it wouldn't go. it's the account, not the comment. I'm banned.

u/lightfeather — 3:52 p.m.

not writing to argue with you. your post is still up and mine is gone. you left the name out of yours. I put both names in mine. if that's the difference, that part's on me.

u/lightfeather — 3:53 p.m.

if somebody comes at you about getting paid, would you put one line under my post. you don't have to say where you ate. you don't have to say anything about me. just that it's happened to you too.

Read 3:58 p.m.

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r/BellhavenEats — posted by u/lightfeather_again

Not an ad. This is a clarification post. If you take this one down, it's because you know I'm right.

My last account got banned for 10 days and my post went with it, so this is the new account. I'm the eel rice bowl person. Same person, new name, nothing else changed.

The note on the removal says "undisclosed promotion." Which promotion. I named two restaurants and two prices and said one of them was better. There's no code in my post. There's no link in my post. There's no phone number in my post, and I didn't tell anybody to go anywhere. A price is not an ad. If a price is an ad, then every menu in this city is an ad.

Here's the whole thing one more time, in order, so nobody has to guess at any part of it.

My dad brought home an eel rice bowl from The Bellhaven Grand. It's $280 and it comes in the wooden box. My roommate's brother brought home an eel rice bowl from The Shallows. It's $28 and it comes in a takeout box. Every person at that table ate out of both boxes and every person at that table said the $28 one was better.

That's the post. That was the entire post.

I'm not saying the Grand is bad. I'm saying it's $280. Ten times the money didn't buy ten times the rice bowl. It didn't buy twice the rice bowl.

Since then: I'm a shill, I'm an ad, I'm tearing one restaurant down to build the other one up, and somebody is paying me to do it. I have never taken a dollar from a restaurant in my life. I don't work at either one. I don't know one person who works at either one. If you eat at both of them next week, I get nothing out of it.

Then somebody reported me, and now the post is gone.

So here's what I'm doing about it.

I'm paying for three people from this sub to eat both bowls. The $280 one and the $28 one. Then you come back to this post and you say which one was better. You don't have to agree with me. If you come back and tell me the Grand's is worth ten times the money, I will say so underneath your comment, where everybody can read it.

To enter, comment on this post.

EDIT — four people in the comments have told me I have to write the rules part or the mods will take this one down too, so here it is.

No purchase necessary. There is nothing to buy. Commenting is the entry.

You have to be 18 or over.

You have to get yourself to both places. If you're in Bellhaven, or close enough to drive in, that's you.

One entry per person. Not one per account.

Three names, drawn at random. Not the three best comments, not the three funniest. Random, out of a glass, at eight o'clock two nights from now. I'll post a picture of the three names.

I pay the restaurants. You pay nothing. Neither one knows I'm doing this, and I'm not going to tell them, because the second one of them hands me something, this stops being a person with an opinion and starts being a promotion, and then everybody in here gets to be right about me.

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u/saltflat

she got banned for saying the cheap one was better, which, if you're keeping score, is the thing this sub is for. no code in her post, no link, no phone number, no address. two restaurants, two prices, one opinion, and a moderator read it as an ad. if somebody was paying her they'd have paid her to like the $280 one, and she'd still have a post.

u/oldwharf_bh

cool. so you're buying strangers dinner to prove a restaurant is good. that's a promotion. you just don't get paid for it.

u/lightfeather_again · OP

if buying three dinners makes it a promotion, then it's a promotion with no product and no paycheck and no logo on it. I'll take the word.

u/harborlight_amy

I'll enter. worst case I eat two eel rice bowls and I'm wrong.

u/low_tide_lena

I'm not entering, I don't drive. But say the other half of it out loud: nobody in this sub has ever paid $280 for something and then come back and admitted it wasn't worth it. That's what you're asking three strangers to do in public, with their names under it. Good luck to all three.

ueasonable_ray

Not a lawyer. Not your lawyer. Not anybody's lawyer. Random draw with nothing to buy is a sweepstakes. If entering meant buying something, that's a lottery, and lotteries are a different and much worse conversation. Put NO PURCHASE NECESSARY in it anyway, say who's paying, and do not argue with one single person in this thread before Friday, or the mods take it down and you're back here with a third account.

u/market_street_j

three people, two bowls each. $280 and $28 is $308 a head. $924 out of one woman's checking account, and four years on this sub and this is the best week it's ever had.

u/lightfeather_again · OP

not rich. not gone by Friday night.

u/BellhavenEats_Mod · mod

Rule 4. No giveaways, contests, or promotions without modmail approval first.

I'm leaving it up. Not because I think it's a good idea. Because if I take it down, you'll start a third account, and by Sunday there will be thirteen posts in here with these two restaurant names in the title, and I'll be the one reading all of them. So the rules block stays where it is. Nobody from either restaurant posts in this thread. If I find one account with two entries, the post goes, the account goes, and I am not writing anybody a note about it.

u/oldwharf_bh

you left the drink post up this afternoon for the same reason and it's still up.

u/BellhavenEats_Mod · mod

the drink post doesn't have a price in it.

u/five_and_dime

the Shallows. that's the one down on the water with the board by the door.

u/harborlight_amy

that's the one. the $28 one.

u/five_and_dime

then I'm in. $308 of food and I don't have to be right about anything.

u/oldwharf_bh

a stranger's card and a restaurant that hasn't been told it's in a contest. this sub is going to be a mess by Friday.

u/lightfeather_again · OP

eight o'clock, two nights from now. I'll put the names up.

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[messages] · u/lunch_dana

u/lightfeather_again — 8:47 p.m.

hey. you didn't tell them where and your post is still up, which is the part I can't work out. mine had both names in it and mine is gone.

u/lightfeather_again — 8:48 p.m.

if you want in on the bowls, say so and I'll put you in the glass. you don't have to put anything under my post. you don't have to say a word about me.

Read 8:51 p.m.