Tides Of Fate

Chapter Seventeen

“What do you want me to do?”

“I wish you hadn’t given me the blood just yet, I wasn’t prepared for that.”

“You looked sick and very pale. You were tired and weak after the race.”

A sigh escaped my lips. “These days I’m always pale, tired and weak.”

I felt him shake his head above mine. “This was different. You looked way worse; thinner than how you were when I left. The change was more evident inside you. Did you eat yesterday?”

“Yes, but I think Joe’s theory is wrong.”

“Why?” He sounded more anxious than before.

“The day before yesterday I ate cooked food but it didn’t stay down. I spent the morning with my head over the toilet. But yesterday when I balanced it out, I didn’t get sick but I still felt weak and a little nauseated.”

“I don’t understand, you’re change isn’t normal,” he whispered to himself, his hands were rubbing my arm and leg.

“Have you forgotten I’m not normal?” I moved from under his neck to look at him. He had a number of frown lines on his forehead. I reached up with my fingers and ironed them out.

“I wish I knew what was happening to you.”

I could see not knowing was frustrating him, tormenting him even. He didn’t know how to help me if he couldn’t understand what was happening and it tore at him. I wish he did know what was happening. It would make me more at ease with it.

“This is the first time you’ve seen this happen, so all we can do is to wait and see.”

“That isn’t a comforting option.” The creases popped back. I reached up to smooth them out again. The only thing we were doing was worrying about something we had no control over. It was better to change the subject.

“It’s the only option. Where have you been the last four days?”

“Searching for answers and Sabrina. Your father told me what she said to you.”

“What did you find out?” I was curious. I wasn’t too pleased about him searching for the lunatic alone, but he was the strongest creature out there.

“She must have gone to hide out with Baku,” he said between clenched teeth.

I swallowed hard, he matched Baku’s strength—no Baku was stronger because he was feeding on humans. “That means you can’t go near her.”

“I can. I’ll take out two birds with one stone. I just have to find out where they are first.”

“When you do, will you all be going?” I could feel the fear creep inside me. The thought of Ash and my dad in danger tormented me. I just got my dad back, and Ash had become a part of me I couldn’t live without.

“No. I may take one of them but I need to leave you and your sisters protected. Sabrina must have told them about you. I wonder what’s keeping him from attacking.”

“Is that why you’ve been ignoring me, because you’re waiting for the crazy guy to jump out and yell surprise?”

He chuckled. “He isn’t a clown, Lee.”

“Just a guy who needs a straitjacket and a room with padded walls.”

“What he needs is to be ashes and six feet under.” The laugh was gone from his voice.

“How many disciples does he have?”

“A dozen I’m sure.”

“And you want to go two of you, are you mad!” The fear was back inside me.

“No, just determined to keep you safe.”

“By getting yourself killed? You are the one who needs a straitjacket.” I stood up and walked to the far end of the room. I stopped when a familiar scent hit me.

The scent was mouthwatering. I swallowed hard remembering the pleasure I got from it. Ash moved past me and picked up the trashcan. He then disappeared out the room and he was back in a flash empty handed. The blood scent was gone but it had been engraved in my mind and tongue.

“I can’t go after him if you’re defenseless.”

“I’m not going to let you get yourself killed.” It was hard speaking decisively when my mind was stuck thinking of blood. “My sisters and I can always hide. You, my dad, and the other guys can then go after Baku…once you’ve fed on human blood.” I knew his reaction to the last part would be bad. He looked at me, a perplexed angry look.

“Did you exhaust your mind too? You were the one who scolded me about killing innocent people. Now you want me to allow the pack to feed on as many people as they want just to go after Baku?” His voice matched his angry expression.

“I’m not asking you to kill anyone there are several hospitals you can get the blood from. If you match their strength you’ll have a better chance of surviving the fight.”

“And then what? We won’t be able to be around you without the urge to kill you!” He was scared.

“It doesn’t matter, as long as you come back alive. I’ll take my chances.”

“You might have changed by then, what will happen to your sisters?”

“They’ll go away for a while, come back when we are in control of ourselves. You guys have done it before, you can do it again.” I won’t deny the safety of my sisters worried me, but the safety of Ash worried me even more.

“That’s easier said than done.”

“Too much is at risk. I can’t lose you. I’d die too. Please just do it for me. I know the other guys would do it for my sisters if they asked, and my dad will do it for his daughter, but the final decision will lay with you. Please, I beg you, don’t forbid it and don’t fight it.” I moved to him and wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight against me. He stroked my hair back and planted kisses on the top of my head.

“How about we agree to disagree for tonight? Let me worry about our enemies, you are only exhausting yourself even more. You need to rest.” He tugged me towards the bed.

“We are always agreeing to disagree.” I pulled the covers before I lay down, pulling Ash behind me. “Aren’t wolves supposed to change only at night; you know when the moon is out?” I changed the subject.

I knew he wasn’t going to let us have that conversation again. I knew I was asking for too much but, for once, I wanted to have things my way. I wanted him alive. I needed him alive and I didn’t care how he would get around it. The means justify the ends, for me at least.

“Yes, but the three of us have had decades to practice changing during the day. Your father wasn’t too interested in learning how, but we wore him down.”

I didn’t bother to ask why, my father and Ash have had drama about what happened to my family even before I came into the picture, and I wasn’t interested in getting into it.

“Your father isn’t going to like this.” He got behind me and held me in the arc his body had created.

“We’ll deal with that tomorrow.” I moved closer to him, using his arm as a pillow. “Ash, you’re going to have to help me.”

“Help you with what?” He placed his head on mine putting his lips close to my ear.

“I thought I could handle changing but it scares me more now than before. It’s not the pain I’m worried about, it’s the pleasure I got from the blood and the thought of my sisters…” I felt like I was going to sob in agony. 

Ash pulled me tighter against him. “I’ll take you away and only bring you back when you’re no longer a threat to them. Don’t think about it now, just sleep.”

I nodded and closed my eyes, beckoning the sleep that had taken over me a few hours ago.