Ready For Love?

Chapter 41

Annie POV

Poor Basket, this certainly isn't what he needed. A hysterical woman losing her ever-loving mind on him. Drenching him in tears... while trying to keep the snot at bay as that would be even more embarrassing.

He does well trying to sooth me when he probably wants to bolt in the opposite direction.

When I finally calm down a bit, he directs us to some seating nearby.

"You goin' to tell me what's goin' on?" He asks softly.

"I'm sorry! Ignore me. I'm being an i***t. Why are you out walking so late?"

He bumps my shoulder. "Nice try, Momma Bear, but I'll still answer. Only because you will then answer my questions." He sits back and rubs my back as I really embarrassed myself by blowing my nose loudly on the tissues I had in my pocket. "Was a bad day... just got word that someone I served with got taken out by an ambush."

My head whipped around so fast, my eyes were nearly spinning. "Oh Basket. I am so sorry!" I pulled him straight into a hug.

He sighed and held me for only a moment before letting go this time. I wasn't the hysterical wacko woman this time so he could.

He sat back with what could only be described as a dead look. Like he had heard that so many times that it just went into the darkness already there.

I understand being numb, struggling to feel after a little while... a kind of autopilot. This was different though and made my heart ache for him more.

"Now it's your turn." His face softened as he looked back at me.

I nodded before taking a breath. "He wants to meet my kids tomorrow, well, sorry he pretty much said he IS meeting my kids tomorrow. It's too soon. I feel like I'm betraying Cam... my late husband. It's going too fast." The tears start again as he rubs my back.

"I have seen enough quacks and attended enough groups to tell you to stop. Completely stop. There is no way your late husband would think you're betraying him after mourning him for how long?"

"Five years." I croaked out before clearing my throat. "But the first man I ever kissed or... you know with... suddenly wants to meet my kids... and within how many days." I start counting on my fingers. "It's too soon. It's... it's disrespectful. It's wrong. It is a betrayal."

"You really are nothin' but heart, aren't ya?" He smirks at me. "You need to get out of your head. Do the old look at it from outside yourself."

I don't reply because I know he won't like the answer.

It doesn't matter if I try to look at it from someone else point of view... I can't. I'm too emotional and all I think is that they would agree and that I'm a horrible person.

"Momma Bear..." He growls, actually growls making me turn and frown at him. "You can't do this to yourself, to Rip. It's been five years. Five years. Not five days, five weeks or even five months. Five years. Give yourself some credit here. Do you know how many people Sacks has dated in five years? He's not called sacks for nothin'."

I couldn't help but chuckle at that. "But before I came here, I had only just taken my ring off. I had only just said I might go on a date. Not find the first guy and shack up with him. I wanted to take my time whereas he is like a bull in a chinese shop." He coughed, trying to hide a laugh. "What?"

"Bull in a china shop. You were close though."

"Oh... stuff off." I rolled my eyes, trying not to smile.

"Five years is a long time... You need to live again Bear. You have to realize he is not going away and that's alright. There is nothing wrong with him knowing what he wants and seeing you for who you are. He is definitely bull-headed, but... life's too short Momma Bear. Too short. Don't run the other way and miss out on something amazing because of fear when life disappears so quickly." He practically whispers that last bit.

My chest squeezed for him... and me. I know a different kind of loss than him, yet we both understand that statement so well.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. If I'm available and not busy with my sister's wedding, I would be happy to attend the funeral with you."

He gives me a grateful smile and just nods.

"Does he make you happy?" He breaks our silence after a little while.

"Yeah, but..."

"Nope." He cuts me off. "Enjoy it. Stop overthinking it. Live in the moment Bear. Live in the moment."

Live in the moment... "But meeting my kids is a big step..."

"Are you introducing him as a boyfriend?" He quirks an eyebrow.

"No... just a friend and I already gave them a heads up." And that's when I finally really feel the weight lift off my chest.

Live in the moment... just a friend.

If it was Cam, I would have been happy for him. I would have wanted him to have moved on by now and would hate to think of him wallowing at home. I would want him to be happy, loved and for him to have someone he can laugh with and rely on.

I would never ever believe he had betrayed me if he started seeing someone after five years and believed they were good people and safe enough to meet the kids... especially as only a friend.

"Thank you Basket." I took in a deep breath. "Plus, I really do like your name, but it doesn't suit you."

He barks out a small laugh. "Oh yeah, what does?" He challenges.

I shrugged. "Crazy emotional unstable woman tamer maybe? I just don't think you give yourself enough credit either. I'm glad you're coming to see the horses tomorrow as well."

He gives a small nod. "It's given me something to look forward to."

We sit there for a while long not talking, not needing to talk before Reid finds us.

He looks almost panicked... well, for him anyway, it's mostly in his eyes.

He crouches in front of me, searching my face and definitely not liking my swollen red eyes and nose. "Babe, you OK? What happened?"

"I freaked out about tomorrow. Basket here helped me by telling me I was being an i***t and get out of my head."

Basket scoffed. "With very different words, Momma Bear. Stop trying to get a brother in trouble."

Reid gave him an appreciative nod. "Thanks man." Before turning back to me. "You should have spoken to me." He got out before two more club members appeared.

One, I recognized as Dog, but the other, I had NO idea what his name was.

Reid stood up pulling me up with him. "There was an attack on Satans Tribe. Security has been increased, so we should all head inside." He wouldn't give any more details outside. I knew that, especially as the others just nodded and continued on.

Reid gave me a quick tight hug before wrapping his arm around me and guided me back with Basket walking beside him.

After a moment Basket asked about the horses and Reid's new house. We told him all about Charmain and Cisco before Reid told him there was a one-bedroom unit attached to the stables if he was interested.

"I looked it up. Normally, a good property and stable hand gets under thirty thousand. Since you will be onsite and more than the normal, how does fifty thousand and free lodging sound? I'll set up accounts for everything needed, and you would just need to order. The brothers can still drive you back and forth when we're not around."

I tried not to squeal with excitement on Basket's behalf but then thought about how he might not want to leave the compound.

"I..." Basket looked shell-shocked for a moment before he nodded and accepted.

I was so happy for him!

Once Reid and I were back in the room, I was given the 'look'. Damn he was even hotter when he did that.

"What! A girl is allowed to fall apart in what was supposed to be a private moment, but Basket found me." I huffed.

"No. You are to talk to me, scream at me if you need to." He wrapped his arms around me and held me close as I melted into him until his phone rang.

He pulled it out and replied with a simple 'yep' as he refused to let go with his other arm. I was confused for a moment when I heard another phone ring and felt his back pocket and found another phone.

I don't want to know... I really don't want to know. Why can't things just be simple? Why?