TO KILL IS TO SERVE

Chapter 30: The Consultation

 I want to drop this class right away but that would only risk my neck and worse, someone will definitely suspect me. Now, I even have to make a plan on how to get away from this art workshop.

“Alora is not here again?” Miss Cherrie asked and glimpsed at me. I shook my head and she sighed. “We’ll talk later, Grei. Kindly visit me in my desk.” She’s pertaining to the faculty office. I did not make any other expression and simply nodded.

“She’s finally dropping out, right?”

“Most certainly. I really hate how she manipulated this year’s class.”

“If someone will die here this year, is it safe to admit that it’s her fault?”

“Shut it, girl. Her knight-in-shining armour would hit you with his shirt’s button.”

And now everyone’s starting to gossip about Alora again. I would only say the only reason: they knew we’re not in good terms. In addition, since I also avoid butting in to their nonsense conversation, they thought I stopped protecting Alora. I don’t have any reason to do so anymore. Firstly, she’s not even here, and secondly, after apologizing for the last time, I won’t see her again.

Sucks to have assassin pride. I thought while staring into the horizon, outside the classroom. I won’t need this workshop anymore anyway, so why f*****g listen to Miss Cherrie? And I never did listen to her, to be honest.

We had no special projects today but just boring sketches and palette review. I headed to Miss Cherrie’s office after cleaning up. I would tell her that I can’t attend classes anymore because of whatever excuse my mind will come up later and inform her as well that Alora and I aren’t in a f*****g romantic relationship. Should I tell her that we’re in an assassin-target relationship? I grinned and inserted my hands on my pockets and entered the office.

“Sit down, Grei.” She offered the chair parallel to her and I obliged. We stared at each other for a few seconds and I can say that she looked more professional now than how she looked like eighteen days ago. “I would like to ask you about Alora.” She started off and I nodded.

“We’re not in a relationship; if that’s the one thing you’re curious of. She’s just—”

“I know.” She rudely cut me off, but I won’t be bothered about it for now. f**k. I feel strangely calm today even after everything I discovered yesterday. I sighed through my nose. “Alora stopped laughing or even smiling, a year ago. I was just astonished to see how you made her redeem herself again.” She added.

I kept my eyes looking blankly but I am currently feeling weirdly unsettling right now. I know I made some changes to Alora when I entered her life but calling it redemption would be too much.

Fuck, why do I feel like time’s ticking too slowly? I gritted my teeth and gulped. “Miss—”

“Who’s Alora for you, Grei?” She cut me off again and crossed her arms and placed in on her table.

With the same facial expression, I began internally recalling everything uncalled for. She’s a target. I wanted to speak out. She’s a classmate. I also wanted to say instead but both aren’t coming out. Probably because… the question’s not ‘What’s Alora for you’ but ‘Who’s Alora for you’ instead. Why do I f*****g feel like… I haven’t been looking at people as people?

My mother’s pupils dilated and her hand began shaking. I saw it—those eyes that only strangers used to glare at me were visible to my mother’s this time. “Y-you killed them?” She asked, still crying.

“Yeah!” I answered in bliss and smiled genuinely.

But those eyes of hatred and pity turned into something more that I couldn’t put my hands into right as of that time. However, I knew that she just labelled me as a murderer with her eyes. My own old lady labelled me as a murderer, instead of saviour, after saving her from that hell.

It started back then. I saw everyone as either monsters or pathetic losers. I see Dad as a monster and Samson as a pathetic loser. I see Info as a monster and Cool Cat as a pathetic loser. I see Danger I as monster and Kiken as pathetic loser, although I always hope she weren’t one. I see my former art professors as monsters and Miss Cherrie as pathetic loser. I see them either and never neither, or in between. But how do I see Alora?

“Grei?” Miss Cherrie snapped her fingers as she called me. I lifted my unconsciously tilting head and inhaled deeply.

“She’s a friend.” I replied. I think, at least, I think, she is. The woman in front of me smiled and nodded. “But why did you call me here?” I changed the topic whilst I still can. I have a strong feeling that Miss Cherrie isn’t someone who drops the topic unless she’s fulfilled but I also know that she’s not insensitive. She f*****g needs to understand that I have to go now to apologize to this student in our topic.

Miss Cherrie heaved a long sigh. “Yesterday lunch, I called Alora’s father and asked how Alora’s doing and he answered me that when he got home from work, Alora has gone here already, so they never had a conversation.” She massaged her nape and looked at me intensely. “You and I and everyone in class yesterday know that she did not come here.”

I know. I nodded and thought if I should say I met her in the park, but if I were to tell her, she would interrogate more.

“Do you know anything, Grei?” Miss Cherrie asked.

Nonetheless, I have to say something. I also heaved a heavy sigh and nodded, “Last Tuesday, we went to Hanie’s grave. We kind of fought, but not a serious fight. I didn’t think she would lie about going to school.” I half lied and half said truth. As far as I can remember, Mister Park was out for three days since Monday, so his probable return is Thursday and he indeed returned last Thursday. Alora managed to skip Wednesday’s class because Mister Park hasn’t returned yet and she cannot skip Thursday anymore, so she left the house early. She waited in the park for that long? That’s freaking dangerous.

“She’s open up almost everything to you, didn’t she?” Miss Cherrie smiled a little but I did not reply. She did, without her knowing as well. I said to myself. “Anyway, since you don’t know anything, you may go now.” Miss Cherrie dismissed me and I thanked her before heading to the door. “Grei,” She called me even before I could close the door shut, so I peeked in. I want to go now, really. “I hope you’re not an alluring light for Alora’s little wandering self.”