TO KILL IS TO SERVE

Chapter 28: The Letter

As expected, after what has happened last Tuesday, Alora did not come to the art workshop yesterday and even today. I don’t f*****g know what to do anymore after what I said last Tuesday but I cannot let things stay like this. I still am not sure of the truth—and if I don’t work on this, I will never know what’s next. Or maybe I know the truth already but I just can’t… not yet.

“Oh f**k, she’s really here.” I was out of breath after trying to run like a normal guy. It’s exhausting to monitor my steps and make sure I make sound while running. Being an assassin has f*****g downsides as well. I nodded to myself and drew closer to Alora who’s currently sitting on the bench. “This place did become your favourite place all of a sudden, didn’t it?” I asked as soon as I’m beside her already. I have learned how to be thick-faced when I am with Alora now, so I casually asked her something even though she’s obviously mad at me.

She’s wearing her usual art workshop clothes, so I bet she lied to her father about going to the workshop. You’re really mad, aren’t you? But I didn’t ask the rhetorical question. I just assumed she really is angry for she lied to her father just to not let him worry but she most certainly doesn’t want to see me in art workshop either.

“Have you had lunch yet? Miss Cherrie dismissed us early because she said she’s got a date.” I spoke again after realizing that she’s not even turning to look at me. I need to talk to Info later for I told him yesterday to send a random request to Miss Cherrie’s dating app today using random account of a hot guy just in case Alora did not come to the art class again. Since he worked and it worked, I have to pay him because he’s a f*****g assassin, as he said, and not a charity.

I exhaled loudly to get Alora’s attention but she seemed to not notice me still. No, she has noticed me, she’s just ignoring me right now. I peeked into the left side where she’s facing and saw her holding a piece of paper, with both her hands trembling.

That’s the f*****g suicide note. I thought and got back to sitting properly. My hands are itching to hold the letter but I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t yet. I need to restrain my f*****g self because I—“I’m sorry for what I said last Tuesday.” I resorted to apologizing again. I have also learned to make apologizing as my escape route with Alora. If my fri—Danger I would know about this, he will tease and mock me to death.

I saw Alora flinched and heard her inhaling softly, then exhaling. She slowly turned to face me and I am certain now that my target’s not shy to show me how fragile she is anymore. She looked like a mess with baggy eyes and tomato red face, probably because of crying nonstop. I peeked at what she’s holding for a bit and nodded at my conclusion earlier. I am a hundred percent sure now.

“I was thoughtless. I’m sorry.” I added and waited for her to respond, but nothing. It was her fault for telling me something too excited that I said such mean things out of thrill but fine, I admit it’s my fault as well. I never intended to cause her harm by uttering those lines, however, the damage has already been done so I would just apologize until she hands me that letter—or until she forgives me. I opened my bag and put out a piece of paper that I was working on earlier and showed it to her. “We did a quick exercise today using unending lines. Miss Cherrie told us to shut our eyes and draw something on the paper without breaking the line, and guess what happened—”

“Why are you here?” That was my first time in a while to hear her ice cold tone again.

“I wanted to apologize and show you how gorgeous you are in this drawing.” I answered swiftly after getting cut off by her cold voice. She’s not even battering an eye on the paper I was holding. “Again, I’m sorry.” I added and we both fell silent once again. Good thing I can now see her face even though she’s not around—it became easier for me to do the activity earlier.

I pursed my lips as the flashback of yesterday played inside my head.

“But Grei, I told my best friend to kill herself.”

I was shaky when she uttered those words. “So basically you’re a murderer?” And I also did utter something unprofessional. I felt the thrill, and yet I lose myself and my own composure like a little kid first time riding a rolling coaster. f**k. f**k. f**k.

“Why would you ask a murderer for forgiveness?” She has finally replied about the matter, but I am speechless to say anything back. I might set off another bomb or kill the current mood. I don’t have the slightest idea of what the f**k to say. “I really thought you’re differe—”

“I am sorry.” I dare not hear that line because if I do, I would lose it all. I might end up killing someone without knowing the full story. I might consider Alora as the suspect since that line could end everything between us. “I was thoughtless, Alora. So please, I am sorry. Please forgive me.” I can taste my desperation from the tip of my tongue. I am currently desperate for two things: the f*****g letter and the truth of all this from hell.

She exhaled and turned to me, “Grei, why do you apologize?”

“Because I want your forgiveness.” I replied instantly. This is the first time I have ever seen Alora so mad.

Alora scoffed and chuckled a bit, and then her face became serious right after. She just f*****g showed me her sarcastic chuckle. It’s the most annoying thing today. “You apologize for something you have done because you’re guilty, or you’re sincere, or you’re aware of your shortcoming, Grei.” She replied and faked a smile. “Not because you want something in return. Forgiveness is something in return.” She added and stood up, back facing me.

I was dumbfounded. What the f**k? You apologize not because you want forgiveness? I was dumbfounded in the fact that this world is not a world of give-and-take every damn time. I thought I was living in a different world for a second there.

“I am going home.” She uttered without facing me, but she leaned a bit closer to put something on my lap. “I am sorry for being a murderer.” And she ran off. She did not cry a tear or sound pathetic this time. This is also the first time in a while that I felt and saw Alora so far away from me. I am probably used to her already.

I was planning to run after her but when my eyes caught the thing she placed on my lap, I was stunned and my intestine twisted. She f*****g left the suicide note to me. I pursed my lips while staring at it. Perhaps Alora wanted me to read this one to make me stop with my theories and conclusions? What’s gotten into her, though? I thought she was claiming that she killed her friend? Probably because when something’s coming from someone else’s mouth, it tends to hurt more. Anyway, f**k it, I am going to read this s**t and deal with my target later.

Also, I should calm my heart from getting so excited; it might escape its cage.