The Duchess of York

Margaret

I woke up to the sound of a woman's clipped voice giving orders, someone pulled open the heavy curtains letting the bright morning sun assault my senses. On one hand I liked the warmth that seemed to seep into my skin but the light made me groan as I slowly sat up. My mother continued ordering the maids around the room, rolling my eyes as I looked at the chaos. Helena Carter was a grave woman, strict with rules and not afraid to give out discipline if she deemed it necessary. She was one of the few nobles left trying to cling to a power that just didn’t exist in modern times, but she would rather dig her own grave than admit it. "Margaret! Why didn't you put on the face mask I gave you last night!" My mother hissed at me, holding up the mask she had left along with a dozen other beauty supplies I hadn't touched. I slowly regarded her as sleep drained from my limbs, she was pretty and aged well, we had the same red hair but that's where our similarities stopped. She had tan skin, bright blue eyes and her hair was always managed, I wearily eyed the beauty products being set out on a tray in front of me. I never was a fan of makeup and preferred simplicity over the rigorous beauty routines that were popular. Looking around the room I saw a small table with pastries and fruit, maybe I should eat so much chocolate I collapse into a coma? That would be one way to stall the inevitable hell coming my way. Looking back up at her I was sure my parents would find a way to go through with the wedding whether I was conscious or not. "Mother this is just for show, I really don't think that all of this is necessary. He doesn't care how I look and frankly neither do I." I said in a quiet voice. The sharp glare that came from my mother told me I had no choice but to endure hours of pampering and preening that would ultimately just be a huge waste of time. "You will look beautiful babe, regardless if that asshole realizes or not." My best friend crossed the room amidst the chaos, I hadn't seen her in the room previously and judging by the look my mom shot a maid I assumed she was originally barred from entering. “Jasmine I understand that you aren’t used to our customs, but I ask that you at least watch how you speak around others. This is a good thing for Margaret and she doesn’t need you to take away from her grand day.” Mother leveled Jas with a look that could kill, but my best friend wasn’t easily scared. Jas met mother with an unimpressed look as she came to my side. I smiled genuinely at her, Jasmine had her hair styled in a short bob and her cat-eye liner pronounced her caramel eyes. Her makeup was bold with red lipstick and gold eyeshadow, but it was light enough to enunciate her natural beauty. “Right because this all screams modern day parental love and not an ancient practice that makes no sense” Jas’s american accent was thick with sarcasm, my mother huffed and decided ignoring us was the best course of action. Jas mentioned whisking me away to America a few months ago but I couldn’t just abandon my parents. As cold as they could be I knew they loved me and they just didn’t know how to navigate life without their titles. Jas though was consistently on my side, always doing what she could to show me how much she cared. Over the last two years she had tried to help with my childish schemes to convince my parents I wasn’t suitable for the arrangement, of course we were unsuccessful but at least someone would stand by me today with thoughts only of my well being and not politics or business. She walked with me into the bathroom, filling me in on all the latest gossip as I showered. "Oh! Guess who I saw being thrown out by security yesterday?" Jas sing-songed as she stood at the mirror touching up her lipstick, barely containing her excitement. As long as I had lived here no one had been escorted off the grounds, to even enter the estate you had to be let in at the front gate by the security team hired by my father. Jas waited all of 30 seconds before she started speaking again, "That witch Eliza! She was fighting and yelling about how she belonged here! The absolute audacity she has, this is your home not his.” Jas was between laughing and growling before she finished her sentence. When I first told her about the arranged marriage and she saw Dominick in person she was optimistic for me, telling me it could be like some dramatic romance that would end in a happily ever after. But after the 7th girlfriend he had introduced to us, she had given up. Dominick would never love me, hell he would never even find me attractive and he reminded me of it every time he kissed my cheek in greeting. Jas sent a skeptical look my way when I didn't join in her giggling, I forced a smile onto my face as I wrapped my hair in a towel and put on the fluffy white bathrobe she held out for me. Jasmine hated every woman that had been with Dom, but I just couldn't bring myself to care, why shouldn't we have affairs. Dominick had signed the contract, he had to at least partially agree that it made no sense to be that alone. I felt the flush creep up my neck as I walked to the vanity table set up for hair and make up. My thoughts wandered to the revised version of the contract, I was suddenly nervous

3. We will not share a room after our honeymoon

His revised version made sense, our families would require us to follow certain rules until we make it back to the York estate, which wouldn't be for about a week. But that didn’t mean anything would happen, I knew for a fact neither of us wanted that. Despite our protests my mother insisted that she and my father pay for the ‘honeymoon’ but she refused to give us any details on it. All I knew was that we had to be on a plane early tomorrow morning, as husband and wife. Suddenly I felt very nauseous, and as if Jas could sense it she started batting away the people working on my hair and make-up. She held my face in her hands and I heard the artist that had just applied the blush protest, my best friend shot her a look and the lady huffed, dramatically throwing herself in a chair. The others working on me gave us the space Jas was looking for "Maggie, babe, breathe you look as white as a ghost!" Jas always knew how to soothe my panic attacks, when we first met at university she seemed like she was just some foreign exchange student enjoying the sights. We had two classes together, psychology 101 and an elective homemaking course my mother had required, but after some time I could tell she was serious, and intelligent. Her dream was to help as many kids as she can as a pediatrician. Part of me was jealous at first, it didn't matter that Cambridge is a prestigious school, I would never get the chance to use the bachelors in business I earned, and continuing my schooling was out of the picture. I focused on Jasmine's bright eyes and her calming words as I fought the tears threatening to spill, I silently grieved the life my parents had signed away. I took several deep breaths as my eyes cleared and Jas stepped back, from the corner of my eye I could tell my mother was watching the clock, more concerned about us making it to the estate chapel on time. Sighing deeply, I gestured for the stylists to come work on me again. “Make sure to work quickly, there is still a lot to do, we are running out of time” my mother scolded. "Mother the Ceremony starts at 4, it's barely 10." My voice sounded hollow even to my own ears, my mother turned on me with a hand on her hip. "Do you realize the prep work that is needed! In 20 minutes an esthetician will be here to prepare you for your wedding night! The goal is to keep the man with you for many years so you need to perform, you need to seduce!" Jasmine and I gaped at my mother, she didn't actually think I would sleep with Dominick did she? "Like in a thousand years Helena, those two are barely going to be able to share a kiss at the altar. What makes you think that they will do the nasty?" Jas barked out in my defense, I could feel a blush again and part of me wondered if it was making the makeup artists job harder. My mother just glared at Jas but didn’t address her, her gaze fell on me. "Margaret, if you want a secure future you will produce an heir, you will be a duchess and you will be a wife. You don't need to love the man." I felt my heart sink at her words, I knew she didn't love my father and he sure didn't love her, yet I had hoped they would love their daughter enough to not put her through the same hell they lived everyday. I sat back quietly and let the people around me do their jobs. A man curling my hair was glaring at my mom, it was sweet someone else saw the injustice. I smiled at him in the mirror and bit my lip in an attempt to stop the sudden urge to laugh. A flick to my cheek drew my attention away as the woman doing my make-up glared at me. "If you do not stop moving I will glue your lips together!" The woman had a thick french accent and with her threat I resumed being still and stoic. I allowed my mind to wander to what ifs and soon became lost in a daydream I could almost taste. I imagined myself starting my own business, the details were vague but it would be something I enjoyed, maybe a consultation firm or a start up with someone creative. I imagined having a simple home with a man who loved me and maybe there would be a child or two, I would be happy.

By 3 pm my mother was in full panic mode, I had my hair and makeup done, the waxing was unfortunately completed and even I had to admit I looked good. The dress my mother chose, a Galia Lahav Mia designer gown with beading and lace covering the corset, a sheer sleeve and large skirt made me feel like a princess. It was truly stunning but I had accidently spilled a small bit of tea on it. Behind the beads on the corset, if you looked straight at my chest, you could see a small brown stain. I rolled my eyes for what had to have been the hundredth time as my mother tried to contact the boutique, I didn't know what she was expecting but I doubt they would or could do anything. I tried to take a breath but found that again the corset was too tight, it definitely did its job in pushing me in and out in all the right places but it was far from comfortable like my favorite PJ's. My mother shrieked into the phone and I winced, Jas walked up to me bringing a bottle of vodka from her bag and handing it to me. I eyed the bottle and then looked back at her "I'm not saying you should chug it, but I think a shot or two might be in order" she grinned at me as she took the bottle and poured two shots, she gave me one and I wearily looked at my mother who was still screaming at the poor person on the other end of the phone. With a grin creeping onto my lips, I clinked my glass with Jas’s and downed the shot, I felt the heat run down my throat and settle into my belly giving me something to ground myself too. "Let's make it two" I croaked to Jas who was already pouring the liquid fire into our empty glasses, I took my second shot and threw it back just like the first, the lack of food over the day made me a bit dizzy. Mother huffed and turned on Jas who had just taken her third shot, the look she gave my empty glass gave me the impression she had not gotten her way on the phone. “Margaret you will remember that you are an Earl’s daughter and you will show the decorum suitable for that role.” Her words were quiet and if it had not been for the two shots I may have been nervous, but that’s why it was called liquid courage as I opened my mouth and talked back to my mother for the first time in years. “I am to become a duchess tonight because you have sold me off, despite my pleas. Thankfully though this is the last night you will have any say in my life.” For a moment I watched as my mother lost her composure. She was somewhere between shocked and furious. Jas was grinning at me as she hooked her arm through mine and then I blinked, looking down at my empty glass as my mother walked away. Over her shoulder her quiet voice reached me and I felt a pull in my stomach, “you may not see it Margaret but this is the best option for not only you but our family” Within what felt like seconds I was being dragged out of the room and down the corridor towards the chapel, I saw my father and he gave me what he hoped was a reassuring smile but it just looked bored, indifferent. He gave me a hug that felt awkward as I heard music being played. When I heard the wedding march I felt somewhat nauseous again. Father placed my arm over his as the chapel doors opened for us, I almost lost my balance when I first saw Dominick, he was just as handsome as he was when I saw him on his 18th birthday. Part of me grieved for the life we would never have, I lifted my chin as my father led me down the aisle to my predetermined future. I tried to busy myself with looking at the decorations in the hall but I only felt like I was in someone else’s wedding and not my own.