Remember Me, Mate

1 | After you left

“Tristan, please!” I wrapped my hands around his arm as tight as I could. There was no doubt in my mind he could break free if so desired; even though I was his Luna, it would be foolish of me to think I could match his strength. Still, he stopped moving, and I took it as a sign that he was willing to listen. I wouldn’t waste my chance. “Please, don’t leave me. You know I can’t live without you!” My plea sounded pathetic, especially with waterfalls streaming down my cheeks, but I didn’t care.

I wouldn’t mind begging on my knees if it’d make my fated partner stay.

Alpha Tristan Wolfgang was my first and only crush. Even as a teenager, his athletic build would draw she-wolves to the gym in hopes of getting a glimpse of his muscular body, which became brawnier as he aged. His glistening, always carefully-combed, short golden brown hair, combined with his immaculate, heavenly-tanned skin made him look like a prince from a fairytale, though he had collected a few battle scars with time. Most women thought his eyes were amber-colored, but only I knew how they would turn a vivid shade of auburn when he was overcome with lust.

Unlike other females, his looks and status were not the reason why I fell for him.

Tristan was kind and caring. Despite having been born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he never let his power or money get to his head. Most pack leaders were self-centered hypocrites - I would know, as I had attended a fair share of high-society meetings, being an Alpha’s daughter myself - but he couldn’t be placed among them. He wanted nothing more than the well-being of his people and his Luna. Or at least that’s what I had thought.

Although we had always gotten along well, I noticed a change in his behavior when he turned eighteen. I was only sixteen at the time, but I was old enough to guess why he suddenly couldn’t leave my side. He never made a move, yet he would always be around, constantly offering me his full support. It wasn’t until I came of age and gained my wolf that I realized I had been right all along - Tristan was my fated mate.

It didn’t take me by surprise, honestly. Everyone always commented on how good we looked together, and it was true. We brought out the best in each other. Still, I didn’t register just how strong our bond was until life started throwing curve balls at us. Our relationship was put to test many times, but it never shook, it never trembled. Our foundation remained strong, and it made me believe that not even the moon, the lights, and the Goddess could destroy what we had built.

So why, after four years, was he ready to abandon me?

“Let go of me, Zahra.” His voice was low, but demanding. It didn’t intimidate me though.

“No, I won’t! Not until you promise me you’ll stay!” I tightened my grasp on him as I snuggled onto his arm.

For a brief moment, I thought I was winning. Sadly, it didn’t take long for my fantasy to be shattered as he pulled away from me in an abrupt movement. Losing balance, I fell straight to the floor with a whimper. He had never been this rough with me; actually, he was always so tender. To my shock, he didn’t even stiffen as I hit the ground. My knees hurt, but the real reason why I couldn’t get up were my weak legs. Overwhelmed with fear and pain, I had already been fighting to stay standing.

All I could do was watch, helpless on the floor, as my mate walked away.

“There’s nothing we can’t do together! You said so yourself! Do you not love me anymore?” My words made him stop again. Hope twinkled in my eyes as I once again allowed myself to believe I had made him change his mind. The words he said next erased any foolish dreams I could have.

“I, Alpha Tristan Wolfgang of the Scarlet Meadows Pack, reject you, Zahra Demeter, as my mate and Luna.”

“No!” I cried out as a sharp pain struck my heart. My hand instinctively moved to my chest, my wolf’s claws coming out as if she wanted to rip it open. With deep breaths, I gathered the little strength I had left to part my lips. “I…I won’t accept it.”

“You don’t have to,” he recalled, not even bothering to glance at me. The man whom I loved with my whole body and soul… He was suddenly so cold.

I knew he was right, but somewhere inside me, I hoped I was wrong. For a werewolf couple whose bond had been completed, it wasn’t necessary for both parties to acknowledge and accept the rejection vow. The moment one of them spoke the words, the thread of destiny that tied them together would start to vanish, which was proven true when I moved my fingers to the burning spot on my neck.

The mark my mate had placed on me… It was slowly fading away.

“Don’t leave me! Tristan! Don’t go!” I continued to scream desperately, but my efforts were all in vain. Through my blurry wet eyes, I could see his figure marching away from me.

“Tristan!” I shrieked in horror as I shot up in bed. It took me a minute to realize I was in my room. I had just had yet another nightmare.

The most painful day of my life kept playing on repeat inside my head after he left me. I could see him every time I closed my eyes, which is why I had stopped trying to sleep. My body, however, would occasionally shut down from exhaustion, and I would be carried to bed either by my best friend or my mate’s twin brother. The pack doctor said I would survive; she said the pain would go away. But after two months, it had only gotten worse.

I was still recovering from the dreadful memory when I heard a faint whimper inside my head. My eyes widened as a short gasp broke through my lips.

“Holly?” I called out with the last bit of hope I had left. “Hollyhock!” I tried again, louder. Still no response.

My she-wolf had once been known by her power and beauty. Aside from Lunas, we were warriors, and we had fought many battles by our mate’s side. She had light gray fur with speckles of silver on the top of her coat. Her chin, chest, belly and legs were of a snowy shade of white. She had pointy, triangular ears with a black outline and very fluffy cheeks. But the most outstanding detail about her were her shiny meteorite purple eyes, so deep and piercing like a vast galaxy. Sadly, I hadn’t seen her in a while.

Hollyhock was still alive in the depths of my mind, but she hadn’t come near the surface for two months. The rejection wrecked her, maybe more than it did me, causing her to lose her desire to live. I was slowly forgetting what her voice sounded like, as I could only hear her faint cries and whispers whenever we had nightmares about the day our mate went away. In fact, I was fairly sure she was the one projecting them to me. They said she would recover, but like me, she only seemed to be fading away more and more.

And every time I realized that, another little piece of me died.

Since there was nothing else for me to do, I forced myself to get out of bed. As a result of how weak my body had become, I almost tripped when I tried to take my first step. With shaking legs, I slowly walked towards the dressing table, placing both hands on the wooden surface for support. Usually, I would avoid looking at my reflection, but today, I needed to see it. I needed to find…something. Anything.

As my gaze landed on the glass, I noticed that my straight, light coppery red hair, which once flowed down my shoulders and back like the sparkling waters of a powerful river, had become dull. My peaches and cream complexion was also devoid of color; the rosy shade in my cheeks had disappeared, and my milky white skin had turned pale.

Despite my friends’ efforts to keep me well-fed, my stomach had begun rejecting everything I tried to eat, which was evident in the way the skin around my naturally accentuated cheekbones had sunk deeper in a sign of malnutrition. Even my heart-shaped lips, not too thick, nor too thin, were chapped. The only detail about me that seemed to remain the same was my straight, thin snub nose.However, what scared me the most was the void in my crystal blue eyes - they were lifeless.

Without him, I was lifeless.

And it made something dawn on me. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to find, but at least I now knew what I needed to do.

I turned on my heel, bolting towards the door. But as I pulled it open, I jumped back in surprise.

“Zahra! You’re awake,” my best friend cooed.

Circe Agathangelou was raised with me in my pack, before we both moved to Scarlet Meadows. The hybrid daughter of a male werewolf and a witch, she started living with her father at the age of six, after her mother was killed by witch hunters. Her wolf had never awakened, but she had recently begun learning to control her magic. She had flawless, mahogany skin, curly dark chocolate hair, and piercing light caramel eyes. Coincidentally enough, she was twenty-two years old, just like me.

And coincidentally enough, her timing made her an obstacle in my mission.

“I know you haven’t been eating much lately, so I asked the cook to prepare your favorite.” Only then did I notice the food tray she was carrying. I wondered how her tone could sound so hopeful when she spent so much time with miserable me. “I hope it will… Zahra, what are you-”

She must have seen it in my eyes - my desire to flee. Of course, my best friend would be able to see my trur intentions. It didn’t matter though; nothing would stop me. Without uttering a word, I pushed her out of my way and rushed towards the room at the end of the hall, completely ignoring her screams as she ordered me to stop.

I managed to get to my destination before she could catch up with me, and I didn’t hesitate to lock myself in. She slammed her fists against the door, yelling for me to open it, but I knew she wasn’t strong enough to break in - at least not when the entire pack house had an anti-magic shield.

Once safe, I allowed myself a moment to take in my surroundings. I hadn’t been here in two months. The Alpha’s office had belonged to Tristan before his brother was forced to take his place upon his disappearance. The pack couldn’t remain without a leader, and their Luna wasn’t stable enough to rule on her own. Tyrone, my brother-in-law, stepped in only two weeks after my mate went away.

I should have known then that he would never return, but still, a spark of hope was kept alive inside of me. Before the nightmares started, I dreamt of the day he would show up at our door again and apologize for his terrible mistake. I would give him a hard time, but I knew he had his reasons, and I could forgive him. We would go back to living our normal lives.

How foolish of me.

Now, I could see that he would never come back. Maybe he never even intended to do so. The worst part was, because our bond had been broken, I couldn’t even tell if he was still alive. Probably not - which is why I needed to do it.

I walked to the desk, pulling open the first drawer. For the first time, I didn’t shake as I held the silver blade in my hands. That very ceremonial dagger had been the one that sliced my skin on the day of my Luna Ceremony, tying my soul not only to my pack, but also to my Alpha. It was only fitting for it to be the one to finish it all.

To the sound of my best friend’s desperate, muffled screams, I sat on the floor, focusing on my mission. I closed my eyes as I rested the dagger against my wrist, rethinking everything. Maybe I was being weak. Maybe I was taking the easy way out. But the truth was, I couldn’t take the pain any longer. It had grown unbearable. And if there was any chance of us meeting again on the other side, I had to try it.

With faint sobs, I forced the blade harder against my skin. The metal made it burn even before my skin was torn open. All I had to do was draw a wide cut down my wrists; the silver would prevent me from healing, though I doubted Holly would do anything to try and stop me anyway - I just didn’t consider that someone else might.

“Zahra!” The familiar masculine voice followed the sound of the door being knocked down.

Thanks to his werewolf speed, it took Tyrone less than a second to disarm me. The next thing I knew, the dagger had been thrown across the room, and he was on the floor with me, holding me in his arms. As I melted into a shaking mess, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down again, nor the unintelligible screams leaving my mouth. I had failed.

“It’s okay, Zahra. I’m here. We’re here,” Tyrone whispered, rocking me like a baby. Tristan’s twin was identical to him, obviously. It made it even harder for me to forget the loss of my mate.

“Tri-tristan…I…I can’t…” I kept on crying as I helplessly tried to explain what I was doing. As if it would convince him to let me go through with it.

Still, I found some comfort looking into his eyes, which were just like his brother’s. They were filled with pity and empathy.

“We tried, Ty.” Through my loud cries, I heard my best friend say. “We gave her time to heal. She isn’t getting any better. She almost…” She covered her mouth to muffle a sob of her own, unable to bring herself to finish the sentence.

“I know! I f*****g know, Circe!” Tyrone yelled, which was definitely not normal behavior for him. He was even more tender and caring than his brother. It showed how in distress he was. He held me closer to his chest as he ordered, “Go get the witch. We have to do this before I change my mind.”

A/N: I am so excited to finally start this story! I've had the idea in my mind for a few months now. It's different from the style I'm used to, so I hope I can do it right :) A huge thank you to all of you who are already following this journey s2

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This first chapter was a little more descriptive and slow-paced, but I promise, action will come. And I promise, Zahra is not weak at all - here is where she hits rock bottom. In the following chapters, you will see how strong she really is ;) By the way, what do you think of the start of this journey? What do you think will happen in the future? I love hearing your theories; please let me know your thoughts in the comments!

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Oh, I also have a fa.ce.book group (Louise's Haven for Peculiar Shifters) where I notify my readers about changes in my update schedule and new releases. You can also get access to exclusive content there, such as character visuals and fun facts. Hope to see you there! :)

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UPDATE SCHEDULE: Once a week, every Thursday