Seven Wardens: Books 5-7

Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Macey tried not to scream out in frustration. Just when she was getting to grips with some major change in her life and the family history she'd been sure she knew, something would come out and shatter every illusion she had of sanity. This was no different. The Empress of Kelpies. It wasn't some empty thing that meant nothing. There were so many legends and stories about the position of empress, though Macey had been sure no one had held the position in at least two hundred years.

Why her? The thought wouldn't leave her mind as she tried to work out what to do with the information. She didn't want to be an empress, that seemed even worse than just being the queen. But then, she didn't particularly want to be a Warden either.

She sighed.

"What's bothering you now?" Luc asked, leaning against yet another doorway. That seemed to be all he did, apart from disappearing when it suited him and not answering questions. Yet another thing that bugged Macey to no end. If she couldn't rely on the people around her, then she was going to have some big problems once tomorrow came and they had to face the Mahoun's siblings.

"Everything," she said, flopping down onto a chair and giving up the crazy pacing she'd been doing. It wasn't going to get her anywhere. Besides, she was best saving up the angry energy and putting it towards the fight they were sure to have. As Nessie had said, her anger was the most useful when she tried to actually use it rather than just ignoring it and waiting for it to explode. Though there was some fun in that too. She'd have to make sure to store plenty of outrage up.

"You might want to break it down into smaller chunks than everything," Luc suggested.

"Why bother?" she muttered. "I'll only end up with a lot more added to the list if I start breaking it down."

"That may be true, but if you keep thinking of it all together, you'll quickly find yourself overwhelmed and useless."

"For a guide, you really know how to make a girl feel good," she accused.

"I can make a woman feel very good." There was a glint in his eye as he looked at her that she didn't want to put a name to. That path led to dangerous thoughts and expectations she wasn't sure she was ready for.

"Whatever you say."

Luc sighed and stepped into the room properly. "I want you to do something for me."

Macey raised an eyebrow, not saying a word. She wasn't sure what he could want and didn't intend to promise something she couldn't deliver.

"Close your eyes."

Intrigued, she did as he instructed.

"Take a deep breath and focus on the peace inside you."

Her eyebrows knit together as she focused on what he was saying, not seeing how it would do anything except cause more confusion.

"Picture a white ball in front of you."

She did, the air around her heating up, surprising her to no end. What was he getting her to do? And how? Her eyes flickered as she fought against the temptation to open them. She wasn't sure how she knew, but opening them seemed like the wrong path to take.

"Spin the ball, Macey."

Without meaning to, she reached out a hand, almost touching where she imagined the ball to be. Heat licked at her skin, almost like it had when she'd lost control of the flames, except different. This felt less like it was out of control and safer. This heat wouldn't burn her.

"You can open your eyes when you're ready," Luc said softly, sounding far closer than he had before. Macey tried not to let that affect her but the tingles down her spine were hard to ignore. Part of her wanted him to come even closer, the rest wanted him to back off completely and leave her be.

Slowly, she blinked, taking in the sight before her and sucking in a deep breath. Whatever she'd been expected, it wasn't to have a bright ball of white fire floating in front of her face and pulsing along with her own heartbeat.

"What is it?" she asked quietly.

"It's how you see your anger," Luc replied, an authoritative note in his voice. "When it consumes you, this is what you feel inside you."

Macey nodded, recognising what he was saying as true. "But what's it doing here?" She bit her lip as she waited for a reply, eager to know how this would help her.

"We're going to work on controlling it," he replied. "Make it bigger."

She paused for a moment, not quite knowing how he expected her to do that before settling on one of the many causes of anger that came to mind. Focusing on the way she kept being called up to have more and more responsibility despite her young age and inexperience, the ball in front of her grew.

It pulsed quicker and it took a few seconds for Macey to realise her heartbeat had sped up alongside it.

"How has that thing been inside me?" Her eyes felt like they were as wide as they could go, but even that wasn't enough to convey the slight horror she was feeling. The thing in front of her felt dangerous. Like it could set fires and destroy lives in an instant.

"It's not actually real," Luc answered, not even looking at the ball very closely. "You're just projecting what you think of your anger as. To you, it feels like a white-hot ball of rage, so that's how it appears. To me..." He held out his hands and called up what she assumed was his own anger.

Luc's ball was almost the complete opposite to hers. Black and sticky, she could feel its coldness from where she was sitting, even the heat of her own ball wasn't helping.

"Ah."

"Yes." He clapped his hands together, making his ball disappear completely. "The first thing you need to do is accept your anger and that you can be angry."

She nodded, though she wasn't sure she quite understood. Anger wasn't a pleasant emotion and she didn't want to feel it unless she had to. Even then, she became torn between unleashing it on the world and squashing it down so no one would even know it was there...

"I'm serious, Macey, you need to accept the anger or it will control you."

His words echoed those Nessie had said earlier, which made her take notice. If two people were saying it to her in the course of one day, maybe there was some truth in it. Maybe.

Slowly, she looked into the ball, trying to convince herself it really was okay that it lived inside her.

"Your anger will evolve with you," Luc warned. "It won't be like this for longer than today."

"Then what's the point?" she spat, the white ball pulsing as she spoke. Her eyes widened further from seeing the effect of her emotions. Maybe this was helping after all.

Luc shrugged. "There isn't one if you're too stubborn to try."

"I'm not stubborn," she snapped.

Luc only raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, maybe I am. But it's a good trait if I ever become queen. If they force me to. Although I could be stubborn and refuse to take on that role."

The daimon chuckled. "You're distracting yourself. Focus on that ball of anger. Feed it, make it bigger. See how you can control it without being controlled by it."

His voice was surprisingly soothing. She'd planned to use the anger she felt towards Luc, but it had all but dissipated. She needed something else. She thought back to when Flint had been injured when his magic had been taken from him. She still hadn't avenged him. They still didn't know if it had been the seelie or something else, but the thought of anyone hurting one of her men made her more than just angry. She was raging inside and before she could react, the white ball in front of her exploded into a million sparks, filling the room like confetti.

Luc didn't even blink. "Try again," he said. "If you feel a lot of anger, you can pull it apart into smaller portions and feed those into the ball one after the other. Every time you feel angry, there will be multiple causes. It's never just one single thing. There are connections, relations to other events and people. Use those to split your anger into smaller parts."

Macey nodded and conjured the white ball again. She didn't even need to close her eyes for it to appear in front of her. She thought of Flint's injury and the ball began to glow dangerously.

"Pull it apart," Luc said soothingly. "Think of all the individual elements that led to this anger."

She nodded, not taking her eyes off the ball. She was angry at whoever had hurt Flint, but she was also angry at herself because she hadn't been able to do anything about it. She was angry at Jared, although just a tiny bit, because he'd been with Flint when it all happened. She was angry at the lampads for not healing him immediately, for making her go through all sorts of trials. And then, just when she thought she'd covered all the bases, she realised that there was even more anger at herself. For losing control. For almost hurting Amber.

Her eyes were wet with unshed tears, but she focussed on the anger rather than the sadness that accompanied it.

"Now feed one of the parts into the ball," Luc advised quietly as if he didn't want to distract her.

Macey took the smallest part - the anger at Flint - and carefully pushed it into the white ball. It flared up brightly and expanded in size until it was almost twice as large. If this was what happened with just a small portion of her anger, how big would it grow once all her anger was fed to it?

"Do you still feel in control?" Luc asked and Macey nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She was concentrating hard, unwilling to even risk giving in to her anger again. This was essential. She needed to learn how to deal with her emotions.

"Good. Now add another part. Slowly."

Herself almost hurting Amber. Just like before, the ball flashed and grew, still pulsing at the same rate as her beating hard."

"Well done," Luc praised. "And another one, if you feel like you can do it."

Her confidence growing, she pushed another part - the lampads - into the ball, and then the one about her feeling helpless shortly after.

By now, the ball was almost as tall as herself, and the largest bit was yet to come.

"I think we should stop now," Luc said, a crease appearing between his perfectly curved eyebrows. "It's getting too big."

"No," Macey protested. "I can do this."

Luc looked as if he was about to protest, but then nodded curtly, stepping back until he was pressed against the wall. That was probably a wise move. If the ball was going to grow even further, it would soon fill the entire room.

The seelie. The beings who hadn't come to their aid against the Mahoun. Who probably gave Flint the object that took his magic.

Even before she fed the anger to the ball, she could feel it burn bright hot inside of her. It was a lot of anger and pain, likely enough for one medium-sized ball all by itself. Still, she was not going to give up. She tightened her grip on the emotion and carefully pushed it out of her and into the ball.

It almost threatened to rip away from her, but she managed to keep it under control. When she was done, the ball slowly began to grow, not stopping until it touched her skin. It was no longer a solid white, but more of a translucent sphere the colour of pearls. She didn't feel the touch as the sphere went through her. Only when she was standing inside of it, did it suddenly pop like a soap bubble. Sparks were all over the place once again, leaving small tingles on Macey's skin wherever they landed on her.

"That was amazing," Luc gasped, his eyes wide and fixed on Macey. "I didn't think you'd have this much control."

Macey shrugged, hoping she wasn't going to blush at the obvious pride Luc radiated. "I'm full of surprises," she said lightly. "Now that I can summon white balls, how does that help me with fighting the Mahoun's siblings?"

The daimon smoothed his expression, taking on his usual slightly arrogant look.

"Summon the ball again. A small one this time, please."

Macey was tempted to create a really big one just to mess with Luc but then decided not to. This was a serious situation. She did as he asked, imagining her anger until a white sphere popped into existence in front of her.

"Now instead of feeding anger into it, I want you to think of the ball as a source of energy. A battery, if you like. You've been charging it earlier, so now you can use the energy to fuel your magic. Try to do some magic and instead of taking it from within you, use the ball's power."

Macey frowned, not quite sure if this was going to work. This new ball hadn't been fed with anything and the really big one had disappeared. She closed her eyes and felt for the ball. There it was, so close that she could almost feel its heat on her face. It was bursting with energy, just like Luc had said. Strange. But then, she should know by now that magic rarely complied with the normal laws of nature.

Trying to use just the energy in the ball and not her own, she conjured a few drops of water and let them hover above the palm of her right hand.

"Open your eyes," Luc said.

Oh, the fricking waves. Three massive drops of water, each at least four foot long, were flying close to the ceiling, ready to drench the entire room.

Luc sighed. "I think this will make you realise that your anger is a valuable source of power."

Macey could only nod.