Silverside Academy

Falling Forward

She read the words greedily, half-hurt, half-hopeful.

Hey, kiddo. You know I’m not much for writing, but I have to put something down just in case. I suppose if you’re reading this, there’s a lot of explaining to do. I’ll give you the cliffnotes here, but your momma says I should add more details in other letters. She’s probably right.

I don’t know how to say this easily, so I’ll just say it. I’m a werewolf, and so was your mother. She passed away when you were little, and Janet adopted you when you were still very small. I expect you to treat her with the same love and respect you always have.

There’s a lot of backstory there, but it’s something you can ask her about.

When it comes to me and your momma — your birth mother — we have a story, too.

I fell in love with her hard and fast, even though we were both betrothed to others. It pissed off a lot of other wolves, other packs. They came after us. And if you’re reading this, I guess they finally got me.

I’ve left some insurances so that you’ll be safe. Silverside Academy and the Silverhills Community, it’s the wolf’s den. But there are loyalists there.

I wish I could have taught you how to be a wolf in person, but I’ve left these letters and some videos to help you along.

I love you, little girl. Take care of yourself.

Eilidh looked up from the paper, but her eyes didn’t see her mother or the room. Instead, her vision grayed around the edges.

Her body seemed to be bogged down by some invisible water as she turned to look. She was convinced that she would have suddenly sprouted a tail. She brought a hand up to her face and felt for a snout; fur at least!

But she was still just her.

“Baby, are you okay?” Janet’s voice sounded far away.

She tried to nod, but it left her feeling dizzy.

Janet lunged forward, panic saturating her as she watched Eilidh fall forward. She caught her before she hit the floor.

“Eilidh!” She shrieked, but her daughter didn’t respond.

Wild thoughts, dark fears whispered in her ears and swirled in her mind. First Jared, now Eilidh.

I’ve failed them both.

What do I do?

I should have told her years ago.

And finally, the voice of an addiction she never should have suffered:

If they’re both gone, you still have me.

Feeling like she’d had a tub of ice dumped down her spine, she sat up, clutching her daughter close to her.

She’s breathing, that’s a start.

Brief moments stretched out as she stared into Eilidh’s sleeping face. She cradled her, the way she’d cradled her for years. The way she had hoped she’d be able to cradle her forever.

My sweet child, I promise we’re going to get through this.

Then, for the first time in years, she felt anger. Not towards Eilidh. Not towards herself. But towards her late husband.

An image of him, his easy smile and his loving eyes, crossed her mind. Jared, even in her mind, her voice sounded exasperated. We should have told her together, while you were still here.

Countless long nights played like a movie for her. The way they’d worked together to come up with a plan. The way they’d decided that it would be better if she never knew.

“Less exposure,” Jared’s quote floated up from the depths of her memory. “It means less of a chance she can change. Less of a chance they can find her.”

Janet shook her head. All that planning had been for nothing. They’d found Eilidh, anyway. Just like they’d found Jared.

Eilidh woke up in her bed.

For a moment, she almost fooled herself into believing it was all just a nightmare. She sat up, and her head swam. A reminder that it was all real.

Not that she needed it.

Her eyes landed on the stack of letters at her feet, and she let out a groan.

Next to her bed, her nightstand played host to a breakfast tray.

If you can call it breakfast. She glanced out the window, where the moon hung high in the sky. Not the right time. Then again, not really much of a breakfast, either.

A cup of tea sat beside a few cookies, a muffin, and some store bought petit fours filled up the plate.

Mom… Eilidh was torn between love and exasperation. It was the same thing her mother had always done whenever she had a bad day. But this? It was so much more than a sugar rush and some caffeine could fix.

How can I be a werewolf? I’m afraid of dogs. The idea refused to leave her alone. She couldn’t move past it. Besides…

She glanced at the moon again, then down at her arms.

“I’m just me.” She said the words out loud, but it didn’t change a thing.

I’ve been a human my whole life. I never would have guessed… I still can’t believe it.

She was no stranger to supernatural movies and books. I never had any symptoms. She thought about the classics: black spots, memory loss, uncontrollable rage, chicken feathers in the bed, waking up naked in a field, and — of course — the unexplained body hair and the whole changing with the moon thing.

Nothing had ever indicated to her that she wasn’t 100% human.

Memories of her father being dragged away by dogs resurfaced.

Only this time…

This time, she forced herself to focus on the ‘dogs’.

As a kid, they seemed impossibly huge. But as she got older, she always told herself that she had put her feelings onto the dogs. But now…

What if those impossibly large dogs weren’t dogs? What if they were wolves?

Eilidh eyed the stack of letters again.

Dad said he left insurances that I’d be safe.

Somewhere in the stacks of paper and dozens of thumb drives were all the answers she wanted. Or most of them, anyway.

Some.

Sighing, she pulled the letters towards her. That’s when she noticed that each was labeled in her mother’s small print. ‘Werewolf’, ‘Personal’, ‘Advice’.

It made her angry all over again. She’d met a few kids who had been adopted. They admitted to being angry or feeling lied to or betrayed when they found out they were adopted.

Now she was feeling that, too.

The story of Dad and Mom taking her home from the hospital — that was complete B.S. It was the feeling of finding out Santa Claus wasn’t real on steroids.

A part of her anger came from the way she had lost any hope of knowing her real mom.

Her mother had passed away. And there were years’ worth of stories that could have been shared. Even if they didn’t want her to know what she really was, what was the point of pretending that Janet was her mom?

Why not just say that her bio mom died during birth?

They could have been upfront with me about Mom. I would’ve still loved Janet all the same.

Guilt nettled at her for even thinking of calling her mom by her first name.

She shook her head and tore open a letter at random.

About our physiology or whatever. I’m an alpha, not a doctor. But that means I can help with most parts. We’re a bit like you see in the movies: we do change with the moon, usually more powerfully than other times. You can resist it with practice. You can also change at will — but that’ll be difficult for you. You’ll have to work hard.

As she read, she heard her father’s voice. She could even hear the little bits he didn’t write down. Every blotted pause of the pen, she heard a ‘hmm’, or ‘uh’. And at the end of some sentences, or perhaps the beginning of others, she would hear his classic Southern, ‘let’s see now’.

It pained her, but she kept reading.

It won’t happen right away. When a wolf is raised away from other wolves, it kicks in a sort of cloaking feature. A way to keep stray pups safe with humans. But the more you’re exposed to wolves, the easier it’ll be. You’ll learn — mostly on your own. Your body will know what to do once it knows it's safe.

Now I know the birds and the bees is awkward, but we got to cover it.

Wolves mate for life. No one-night stands or burning through the numbers. So, well, don’t go letting just anyone do whatever.

Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, but… there was a smile on her lips. She could just picture her dad’s face twisting with discomfort, the way it did when he had to bait a hook while they were fishing.

She didn’t want to have this ‘talk’, but she was glad to feel like she was with her dad again.

Anyhow, there’s one more thing. You come with some unique features. Your momma was the last Moon Fury. But now that title rests with you.

Eilidh stared down at the words.