Silverside Academy

Breathing Room

Eilidh looked up at the owner of the voice.

The only shocking part was that she was here.

Her former almost-best friend: Alison. Her usually pretty features were pulled taunt, and her lovely tan skin was pale.

Adrenaline kicked in like a wave, skewing her hearing with an annoying rushing sound.

Oh, Lord. Not right now. I don’t need this.

The memory of Alison standing in the school’s hallways, pissed off and accusatory floated to mind. This is the last thing I need. I have enough drama.

If Alison had come any other day, Eilidh probably would have been happy. A reconciliation with her closest friend would have been celebrated. But what did they have to talk about now?

Then again…

It’s not like I’ll get a relaxing day at home. All that waits for me in there is a bunch of secrets and lies. Heading out… that might now be such a bad idea.

She had no way of knowing if Alison intended to invite her out, but she did have a ride.

Eilidh gave the house one last glance, as if it could offer her advice.

Instead, it just looked hateful, dark, and empty all at once.

Doing her best to sound friendly, she called, “Yeah, alright.” She walked over, and saw that Alison’s mom was behind the wheel. It made the conversation she wanted to have only slightly awkward. But at least she was pretending to be distracted by her phone.

Alison glanced from her mom to the door of Eilidh’s house. “Um, do you mind if I come inside?” Her almond-shaped eyes opened wide as if willing her to obey.

Not a chance in hell. The voice didn’t sound quite like her own, though she was used to it. It was the little part of herself that she usually stomped down. But today… I think I’ll give in.

Still keeping her voice as light as she could manage, she said, “No.” The shocked look on her friend’s face prompted a quick explanation. Waving her hand as if to dismiss her faux pas, she said, “It’s a wreck in there.” Emotionally, anyway. “Maybe we could go to your place, instead?”

She knew that it was a bold move, but didn’t they say fortune favored the bold?

Alison’s expression brightened. Clearly, she hadn’t expected things to be this easy.

“Oh! Yeah, sure.” She turned to her mother. “Eomma,” the word came out like ‘Uhm-ma’. “Can Eilidh come over?” Her happy, hopeful tone almost made Eilidh feel the same.

Almost.

Her mother glanced between the girls. “Is it okay with your mother?” Her accent wasn’t quite Texan or Korean, but a unique blend of the two.

“Yeah.”

You’re lying through your teeth.

Eilidh ignored the little voice.

Mrs. Smith-Hwang didn’t look entirely convinced, but she still shrugged and nodded.

Eilidh only forced herself inside long enough to grab her purse and phone. The latter of which she turned off.

As thankful as she was for an excuse - and the means - to bail on the situation, the ride over to Alison’s was still pretty awkward.

Eilidh sat in the back seat, quiet and morose. A complete 180 from the happy persona she’d put on only a few moments prior.

Alison peppered her with small talk, but when she couldn’t draw a conversation from her, she stuck to fiddling with the radio and playing on her phone.

Guilt tickled at Eilidh.

What the hell am I doing?

Another voice spoke in her mind. The little devil on her shoulder, maybe?

What the hell are you doing? You’re using Alison. You’re running away from Mom. It almost sounded like her, except she never really talked to herself like that. Honestly, yes, but… Coward. You should face your problems. The words were way harsher than she usually was.

She shook her head. From the corner of her eye, she saw Alison watching her curiously.

“Is something wrong?” The waver in her voice told Eilidh that she felt responsible for her bad mood. It was hard to feel sorry for her given how the school year had ended, but…

This isn’t her fault.

“Yeah,” she offered a ray of honesty. “But it’s not about you. We can talk about it later.” She knew she was lying through her teeth. She would never tell anyone about this particular problem. Not like she would believe me anyway. She didn’t even believe me about Brian.

After an excruciatingly silent car ride, they pulled into a long driveway.

Eilihd had been to Alison’s house a couple of times before. It was nice, spacious - and about 30 minutes across town. Far enough for some breathing room.

Right at this moment, it felt like a sanctuary.

Reading the room correctly, Mrs. Smith-Hwang said, “Alright, girls. You all can play, hang out, whatever. But no causing trouble. And be ready for lunch.” She headed inside without waiting on them.

Alison stared at her friend for a little too long. She wasn’t sure what to say, and Eilidh didn’t seem open for discussion, but she was there. That had to mean something, right?

“Why did you agree to talk to me?” The question leapt from her lips, but she didn’t regret asking it.

She expected Eilidh to say something snappy, or even just shrug it off.

What she didn’t expect was for her to burst into tears.

Alison put her arm around her. “Woah! Hey, it’s okay -” she looked around desperately. She didn’t want anyone seeing her friend cry like that. “Let’s go to the back yard, okay? The treehouse…” She let her words trail off as Eilidh clung to her.

Instead of conversation, she focused her efforts on maneuvering her and her friend through the privacy gate.

Once they were safely tucked away in Alison’s old treehouse, Eilidh pulled herself together.

This is so embarrassing. What can I even say?

Eilidh looked at Alison. She was a good friend, for the most part. She’d done exactly what she’d needed: she’d waited patiently for her tears to dry, occasionally patting her back. It wasn’t overbearing, but a comforting presence.

It was exactly what Eilidh had always wanted in a friendship. Real, genuine companionship.

But she was in an impossible situation. If I don’t even know what I want to do, what help can anyone else be?

Thankfully, Alison knew just what to ask.

“I’m guessing that this really isn’t just what happened at school?”

Eilidh shook her head, wiping her eyes as she did. “There’s so, so much more that happened.” She let out a shaky laugh. “Mom -” She knew better than to tell the whole truth. But maybe just a little wouldn’t hurt. “Mom isn’t my mom. I’m adopted.”

Alison sucked breath in between her teeth in a painful hiss. “Oh, no.” Her words were lame given the gravity of the situation. But for her, this had completely come out of the blue. She’d gone to apologize, maybe hang out. She had no way of knowing what had been going on.

Nodding, Eilidh continued. “It’s rough. I only found out last night. She lied to me. They lied to me.”

She couldn’t bring herself to look at Alison, so she missed the way her dark eyebrows knitted together. She quickly pieced together the situation, at least in part.

“So your Dad…?”

It was the question that truly opened the floodgates.

She told Alison as much as she could. From discovering that her bio mom had died when she was little, to the fact that she’d been slated for Silverside Academy since she was a kid.

It helped her to finally put into words one of the parts that bothered her so much.

She was sipping fresh prickly pear lemonade when she realized it. “I don’t even have time to grieve or adjust to all of this before we move again.”

All of my foundation is sand, just crumbling and washing away.

Alison forced another pecan sandy into her hand.

Her already pouty lips were drawn down. She was clearly losing her battle with her own emotions.

“Wow, Eilidh. I’m so sorry.”

She’d apologized several times by that point. Not that she had much to do with it.

When she shook her head, Alison insisted. “No, not like about all that. I’m sorry that happened, that it’s happening, but if I had known…” Heat blossomed in her cheeks, turning them pink. “I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that. It was stupid. And now you’re dealing with all this. I’m really sorry that I left you alone to deal with all of it.”

Then, before she could formulate a response, Alison continued. “Do you want to stay the night?”

Eilidh considered it. Staying the night would mean having real space.

And it’d give Mom a taste of her own medicine. See how she likes being left in the dark.

It was an ugly thought; one that Eilidh pushed away. I’ll tell her. Just… I need a minute. I want to pretend that it’s just another normal day, just for a little while.

“Yeah, I think that would be good.” She found that her smile came a little more naturally now that she’d gotten some of the poison out.

As she and Alison made their way down the wooden slats that served as steps, guilt nettled at her.

I’ll call Mom later. As soon as I can. It was a promise she knew she wouldn’t keep.