To The One

3

We stopped at what looked like an abandoned bar. 

"You're scared of me, aren't you?"  Leina said.

"A little," I smiled. 

"Well you should be." She winked. 

"Don't mind her, Isabelle. She just likes scaring people like that. She's actually a crybaby," Leo chuckled. 

"Shut up Leo." 

We went inside the bar and I wasn't surprised. There was a band set at the stage and a few chairs and couches splattered carelessly on the floor. It reeked of beer and smoke and I couldn't help but crunch my nose. 

"Do you drink?" Marcus said, holding a shot glass. 

I shook my head. 

"Why don't you talk?" 

"I uh" I stammered. 

"Let her go, Marcus." Theodore said, pulling me away from him. 

"This is where we practice. Everyday. It opens at 10pm. Marcus's parents own the place." Theodore said. I nodded. 

He led me towards the open roof, with a narrow staircase spiraling towards it. When we reached the top, I gasped. 

This was where the entire city and the heavens kissed, the horizon blurring at a distance. The skyscrapers loomed beyond the meadows, the orange skies meeting with the mortal world. 

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Theodore said. "What are you so afraid of, Sab?" 

I looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" 

He sat bravely at the ridge of the rooftop. I followed. 

"I have known you since middle school, Isabelle. You were this quiet kid who knew nothing about the world. The only life you had was what you and your best friend could conjure. Conjure. I like that word, it’s like you’re a god creating something out of nothing."

"You don’t know me." I said.

"Trust me, I know you more than what you think." 

I let the silence engulf the both of us for a while. 

"I want you to be happy. Really happy." he said out of nowhere. 

"Why?" 

He only smiled. "Let's go?" He jumped and walked towards the stairs. I meekly followed. 

Leo sat in front of the drums, preparing to start while Marcus tuned his guitar. Leina was smoking on the couch, staring in space. I took the moment to observe them. In a way, they were like me, I guess. They were lost souls, finding their way out.

“Join us when you know the song.” Leina said, standing towards the microphone stand. 

I walked towards the keyboard and felt the keys with my fingers. I couldn’t believe I’m doing this. 

Leina tugged at the microphone. “First song guys. Livin’ On a Prayer. Alright let’s do it! One to three-”

And then they started playing. I didn’t know the song so I stared at how they play. It was so soulful, even Leo, shy as he was, brought out his soul. Their eyes were closed, feeling the music as if it were alive. So alive.

I watched how they work together as a band, as a whole, not just individuals playing an instrument. They were in tune with each other, almost as if they were one body playing music. 

I didn’t notice it at first, but I was smiling.

“You suck, Marcus,” Leina said right after the song ended.

“Yeah, says the one who missed the bridge entirely. Speak for yourself, bitch.” he replied.

“Asshole.”

“So what do you think Sab, think you can handle this?” Theodore approached.

I nodded, hesitant.

“You really don’t talk, do you?” Marcus said, flipping through the music sheet. Leo chuckled.

“You just have to get used to these people. No worries, they’re not as bad as they seem,” Leo said.

We played a couple of songs after that. I played at least three out of eight, playing only the familiar ones. 

After which, we all gathered on the roof. It was already night time when we got there, the moon proudly shining over the place. 

“Beer?” Leina said, handing out a bottle.

I politely declined. The stars were a little brighter tonight. I felt different. As if it was my first time being alive. It was kind of rebellious, if I think about it. With all the beer and the stars with people who were strangers to me just a few hours ago. 

“Cigarette?” Leina offered.

“Try it,” Theodore said. “One puff won’t hurt.”

“No thanks,” I said.

“Suit yourself.” he said, lighting a piece.

“So, Isabelle. You live with your parents?” Leo asked.

“No. I live alone.”

“How long have you been playin?” Marcus asked.

“Since I was eight.”

“So why are you here?” Leina asked.

“Theodore--”

“Invited you, yes but why did you come? You don’t know any of us. One of us might kill you tonight for all you know.” she said.

“Leina.” Leo gave her a disapproving glance.

“What? I’m just curious.”

They all looked at me intently, sincerely waiting for an answer.

“I uh, honestly have no idea. But if you’re not comfortable with me in your group, I can go,” I stood. Marcus stopped me.

“Stay, Sab. Leina’s just messin with you. Don’t mind her.”

Theodore was silent. He was staring skywards, fascinated by the tiny jewels sprawled in the darkness.

“Did you know that looking at the stars is actually looking at the past? We are gazing at something that may have occurred a thousand of years ago. For all we know, they’re all dead.” Theodore spoke silently. I was sure I was the only one who heard him.

We stayed silent for a while, all of us allured by the beauty of the stars. I wondered if it was like this for them every night. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy. “I’m sorry, Atarah,” I thought to myself. 

“Let’s get you home,” Theodore said as he stood. I followed.

“Bye Isabelle!” they chorused.

We were silent all the way home. It was uncharacteristic of Theodore, but he seemed to be thinking deeply. I did not disturb him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he said as he pulled over.

I nodded. “Thank you, Theodore.”

“Call me Theo,” he said as he drove away.

It was weirdly gratifying. I guess it was the first time in years that I actually enjoyed doing something with people. Normally I just get tired easily when I am not alone but tonight was different. I guess I’m gonna see them again tomorrow.