Amal

Apology

Amal's P.O.V

*************""**

"Why?" I asked in a whisper my eyes tearing up.

I've never filled so betrayed in my life neither had I thought I'll be betrayed by my father. But seriously who even does that anymore. I've never seen or heard of anyone getting in an arranged marriage and now it's happening to me.

"Why me?" I asked loudly this time around making him look down at me.

"Why  won't you give me time to bring my own suitor like everyone? Or is it because of Ummah?" I asked again.

"I'VE TOLD YOU ALL AND THAT'S FINAL." He shouted making me flinch a little.

"But..."

"No buts." He said cutting me mid sentence.

"Abba he doesn't even know me". I said

"He'll eventually know you." He said flatly.

"But I don't love him." I tried again whether he would change his mind but it still didn't work his reply was still the same.

"You would learn to love him." He said anger evident in his voice.

"NO, I WON'T.." I started but couldn't complete my sentence as I was stop by a painful sting on my left chick which was accompanied by a sound as his hand made contact with my chick. I put my hand on the my chick looking at him hurt  and disbelieve evidenced in my eyes and a tear slip from my eye before standing up and I went out.

I headed to the only place that gives me relief and peace in the whole world which is my mother's apartment. I opened the door slowly before entering and locked it with a key. I crept to her room and lay on her bed before my lacrimal gland bursted  and the tears started rushing.

I can't believe it. Just because of some marriage he hit me for the first time in my life. Why would I be forced to marry someone I've never seen in my life.

I really miss my mum. All this won't happen if she was hear. She would throw a tantrum till my dad changes his mind but in her absence I have no one to stand up for me. The only thing I need to do is to accept and let him do anything with my life.

I cried till I was driven into a deep slumber.

      *************************

I woke up to the sound of the magrib Adhan and everything came rushing back to me. I felt so exhausted and sick. I slowly stood up to perform ablution to pray.

"Astagfirullah". I said remembering that I slept off without offering my Ashr prayer.

I prayed Ashr and Magrib before heading back to my apartment.

I have lectures tomorrow so I decided to read before Isha but ended up crying my heart out again.

I took a long hot shower to wash the worries off before praying Isha.

I changed into my straight night gown, took my medicines before going to sleep which I got after turning and tossing for almost two hours before drifting into la-la-land.

**********************

I woke up to the most annoying sound, my alarm. I felt like destroying it just to let me sleep peacefully. It's not up to two hours I fell asleep after subh and now this stupid alarm is waking me up.

I stood up from my bed, did my morning toilet routine before getting dressed in my red A gown with stone work that started from the chest to the upper stomach. Then used some foundation to conceal the dark circles under my eyes and also my now bruised chick and added some khol to make my eyes look normal. I put some lipstick on then wrapped my veil on.

I carried my car key, phone and my bag before heading to the main pallor.

"Salamu Alaikum". I salamed gaining the attention before greeting them.

"Abba ina kwana"(Good morning). I greeted without making eye contact.

"Fine, How are you?"He asked but didn't get an answer because one word from him might make me burst in tears.

"Ummah, ina kwana". I greeted her instead of answering Abba's question before offering to drop  Haifa at school and Ummah gladly accepted saying that I've freed her from driving this early morning as her driver has taken an excuse to go home.

"Thank you so much". She said as we were about to go out.

"No Ummah you don't have to thank me her school is on my way and you don't have to worry I'll pick her up after school. Bye". With that I left the pallor not bothering to give Abba a second look.

****************************

"What!!" Aisha said shocked after narrating the whole thing that happened yesterday with Abba.

After lectures she decided we hang out and I gladly accepted seeing that I could tell her about my father's decision and also seek advice but not before taking Haifa back home from school.

"Where you out of your mind when you did that?" She asked making me look at her in confusion.

"He is your father he knows what's wrong and right for you, you shouldn't have reacted that way, yeah you're free to be shocked but not to disrespect your father even if he hates you which you know is a lie." She said calmly.

"But I had no other option but to ask him Why he did that and I thought how he told me wasn't appropriate, he told me like I have no say in my life." I said feeling guilty of how I treated him.

"Maybe you should go and apologize to him and accept the wedding Insha Allah everything would be fine."

"What!! I can't just accept the wedding it's my life for goodness sake how can he just make decisions for me" I said steering at her in disbelieve.

"Yeah I know it's you life and all that but everything happens for a reason, I know that wasn't how you planned your meeting with your  husband and prince charming but Allah also plans and is the best of all planners and he likes patience, Allah is proud of patient people and don't forget the qur'an verse 'with every hardship comes ease so please apologize to him don't make more sins".

"OK Insha Allah I'll apologize and accept qadr."

"That's my girl"

"Hey I'm not your girl" I said pouting making her chuckle.

"You know I'm really nervous of getting married to a guy I've never met, I don't even know his name and I don't think he also does." I said voicing out my thoughts.

"Stop over thinking things, you should accept qadr and keep praying to Allah the best of all planners and also perform istikhara, Insha Allah everything would be fine."

"OK thanks, the istikhara even skipped my mind yesterday."

"Just do it today OK?"

"OK, let me get going it's getting late," I said suddenly noticing the darkness outside.

"OK, let me walk you out." She said standing up.

We walked out in deep silence reaching my car. My eyes were full of tears, a single word would let them down so I kept num. I really don't want to go back home.

I silently started to open the door but was stopped by Aisha's unexpected hug.

"Don't worry everything would be fine and don't stop your tears, let them down." She said making me nod.

"Now go and apologize don't let them see your weakness, go and show them you are strong and can take any kind of test from Ya Rabbi Insha Allah, goo." She said breaking the hug and opening the door for me.

"Goo" she said lowly as I entered the car.

I ignited the engine and waved at Aisha before zoning out of the driveway.

*************☆**************

"Assalamu Alaikum" I greeted entering Ummah's living room.

"Wa'alaikumus salam, Amal you're back already, there's food in the kitchen go and serve yourself and come sit with me" she said nicely with a smile on her face.

"OK, thank you" I said before heading to the kitchen.

Yeah I decided to give Ummah a chance as Aisha always said so that's why I decided to take Haifa to school and seeing that Ummah was really happy and is now acting nice to me.

I served myself before going back to the sitting room as Ummah requested.

"Were is Haifa" I asked noticing how silent the house was.

"She's with your Abba at his side" she replied.

After finishing the food I decided on apologizing to Abba today not waiting till tomorrow.

"Saida safe Ummah(goodnight)" I said before leaving for Abba's side.

I gently knocked on Abba's bedroom door and opened it after hearing a 'come in'.

"Salamu Alaikum" I said my salam before heading To where he was seated.

"Wa'alaikumus salam" he said looking surprised as he saw me.

I slowly sat down on the floor near his legs with my back to the sofa he was sitting on.

"Abba ina wuni (good afternoon)" I greeted with my head slumped low.

"Lafiya, How may I help you" he asked raising a brow.

"Uhm Abbah about the yesterday's talk, I'm sorry about my reaction I didn't mean to be rude and I accept the marriage." I said wondering how I made my speech.

A smile slowly crept on his lips after hearing my apology.

"No that's nothing you're free to react but you were rude, I am really proud of you for realizing your mistake."

"Insha Allah I would try and not act rudely, have you forgiven me?" I asked to make sure if my apology has been accepted.

"Yes." He replied making me smile.

"Thank you" I said before standing up to live.

"Do you have lectures tomorrow?" He asked stopping me from opening the door.

"No"

"OK get ready we're going for a dinner at your  fiance's house tomorrow."

"OK" I said lowly.

I felt warm tears flooding down my cheeks as I shut my room door getting into my bathroom to freshen up and perform my ablution to pray isha then took my medicine and read a little before falling into a deep slumber.

  ********************

Mimah