chapter 13
1084 Words
Tamara
I ended the phone call and placed the device carefully on the floor beside my pink suitcase. I stood up slowly. My legs felt stiff from sitting on the hard wood for so long. I wiped my face using the bottom edge of my t-shirt, trying to remove the wetness from my cheeks and chin.
Another knock sounded against the door. This one was harder and much louder than the first.
I walked toward the door but stopped a few feet away from it. I hesitated. My right hand hovered in the air, but I did not reach forward to turn the doorknob.
I fully expected him to start yelling again. I expected him to repeat the exact same insults he had shouted at me in the forest earlier that evening.
I just stood there, staring directly at the closed door, remaining completely silent.
"Tamara," North’s deep voice came from the hallway. "I know you are awake in there. I need to speak to you right now."
I refused to answer him. I pressed my lips tightly together.
A few seconds passed in total silence. Then, the metal doorknob turned. I had locked it from the inside earlier, but he was the Alpha of the Night Sword pack. He carried a master key that opened every room in the pack house. The lock clicked loudly, and the door swung open.
North stepped into my bedroom. He closed the door behind him and locked it again.
He was still shirtless. Sweat had dried completely on his skin, and dirt coated his forearms and chest from his time running through the forest. His dark hair was messy and uncombed. He looked directly at my face, and I looked back at his.
Under normal circumstances, seeing my mate would make me feel happy. The mate bond always pushed my instincts to seek his physical comfort, to step close to him, and to touch his skin.
My wolf wanted to walk over to him immediately. But right now, my human mind felt nothing but hurt and severe rejection. I did not step forward. Instead, I took a deliberate step backward, putting more physical distance between us.
North noticed my backward step immediately. He frowned, and his broad shoulders lowered slightly.
He stood awkwardly by the door. He opened his mouth to speak, closed it, and then opened it again. He was clearly struggling to find the correct words. The loud, angry Alpha from the forest was entirely gone. Now, he just looked uncomfortable in my small room.
"Tamara," he started, his voice much quieter than it had been outside. He cleared his throat. "I... I came here because I need to talk to you about what happened during the patrol."
I wrapped my arms securely around my own waist, making sure to avoid pressing against my shoulder. "I apologize Alpha, but I do not want to talk to you."
He ignored my statement. "I was very angry out there. I saw the rogue wolf pinning you down on the dirt, and I panicked. I spoke..." He paused, rubbing the back of his neck with his large right hand. "I spoke harshly to you."
I stared at him in disbelief. He was attempting to apologize, but he was doing a terrible job. It was completely obvious from his stiff posture that he had rarely apologized to anyone in his entire life. The words sounded unnatural and forced coming from his mouth.
"Harshly?" I repeated, my voice shaking with residual anger. "You called me weak in front of your warriors. You called me a liability. You said I was pathetic."
North winced slightly at the repetition of his own words. "I have certain expectations for the Luna of this pack. Our environment is dangerous and we face physical threats constantly from outsiders. You did not shift into your wolf form to defend yourself. I reacted badly when I saw you bleeding on the ground."
"I saved a warrior’s life today!" I raised my voice, my frustration growing rapidly. "I used my brain and I saved him from being killed. But you did not care about that fact at all. You only cared that I was not a giant wolf biting someone’s neck. You do not want me as a person, North. You just want a weapon for your pack."
"That is not true," he replied quickly, taking a large step toward me.
"Do not come closer," I warned him, stepping backward again until my back hit the edge of my bed.
He stopped moving immediately. He looked directly at my left shoulder. "You are still bleeding through your shirt. Let me look at it."
"No." I shook my head firmly. "You do not get to yell at me in front of everyone and then come into my private room and act like you care about me.”
"Tamara," he said, his tone sounding almost desperate. "I am trying to apologize to you. I handled the situation in the forest poorly. I know I hurt your feelings, and I am… I am sorry for how I spoke to you."
I stood still and listened to his apology. A small part of my mind wanted to accept it so we could stop arguing. But the larger part of me, the part that had spent the last several weeks crying from exhaustion and feeling completely inadequate, refused to accept his words.
An apology did not fix the main problem between us. He believed I was weak because I fought differently than he did. He did not accept my methods or my personality.
"Your apology does not change anything," I told him quietly. I dropped my arms to my sides. I looked directly into his dark eyes, feeling a sudden sense of calm wash over my body. The decision was finally solidified in my mind.
"What do you mean? Change what?" North asked. His eyebrows pulled together in deep confusion.
"I am done trying to prove myself to you," I stated, keeping my voice steady and even. "I am done training until my muscles fail just to get a single nod of approval from you. I am done staying in a place where the people hate me. I am done fighting for a mate who considers me a burden."
North’s eyes widened slightly. His jaw tightened. "What are you saying, Tamara?"
I took a deep breath, completely ignoring the sharp pain in my shoulder.
"I am saying that I want to leave.”
- Writer
