The Last Luna Standing

chapter 11

North

I didn't stop running until i got back to the pack house. My human form felt pressed down by a rage that I couldn't fully explain. I stormed into the pack house, ignoring the startled looks from the pack members in the hall, and slammed my office door shut with enough force to shake the paintings on the walls.

I paced the small space like a caged animal. My skin still burned from the shift, and the scent of the rogue wolf, mixed with the terrifying, sweet scent of Tamara which clung to my nose.

"She was reckless," I growled to the empty room, my hands clenched into fists. "She’s a fool."

The door opened slowly. Kain, my beta walked in, his expression calm. He didn't look intimidated by my outburst, which only made my irritation spike.

"You didn't need to be that harsh, North," Kain said. "She used her head. She saved a young warrior’s life when she couldn't rely on brute force. She did what she thought was best."

I spun around, lashing out again. "It was reckless! She didn't think! She almost got herself killed because she refused to shift and use the power she was born with. She is weak, Kain. She is slow. How am I supposed to let her sit on the Luna’s throne when she can’t even defend her own throat in the woods?"

I stopped pacing, my breath coming in jagged hitches. My heart was still hammering against my ribs, not from the fight, but from the memory of her small human self pinned under that rogue.

Kain stood there for a long moment, watching me with a sad, knowing look.

"Is that really how you feel, North?" he asked quietly. "Or are you just scared that she almost died?"

I froze. Kain walked closer, lowering his voice. "It’s okay to feel that, you know. The fear, the protectiveness—it’s normal. She is your mate. But you didn't have to say those things to her. She has feelings, and they are far more sensitive than the ones we’ve been hardened to accept. She doesn't understand the harsh, brutal ways of this pack. She doesn't realize that every cruel word you throw at her is your twisted way of trying to keep her alive."

I fell silent and I couldn't look at him, because I knew he was right. I was terrified. Every time I saw her small frame, every time she stepped into the ring, I saw her dying. I pushed her because I was afraid that if I didn't, the pack would tear her apart.

But Kain was also right about the other part. I had looked into her eyes before I left her in the woods, and I had seen something there that made my chest ache. It was a look of pure, shattered heartbreak.

Kain sighed, sensing my internal collapse, and turned to leave. "She's just a girl, North. You’re turning her into a soldier before she’s even had a chance to be your mate."

The door clicked shut, leaving me in the silence of my own failures. I sank into my chair, burying my face in my hands. I didn't know how to do this. I had never been in a position where my own emotions were a threat to my control.

Hours crawled by. The moonlight shifted across the floorboards. I couldn't stay away. I needed to see if she was alright, if the wound on her shoulder was bleeding, if she was even still in her room.

I walked out of my office and towards her room. My steps were slow and hesitant. I had never felt this kind of doubt in my life. I reached her door, my hand hovering inches from the wood, when a voice from the shadows stopped me.

"North."

I turned. Earth was standing there, her arms crossed, her eyes narrowed in disapproval.

"We need to talk," she said.

She walked over to me, her voice soft but sharp. "You are projecting, brother. You are taking all the anger you have toward our parents, all the hatred you have for this life, and you are dumping it all on her. She is not them. She didn't choose to be born into a pack of killers, and she didn't choose to be caught in your cycle of trauma."

She reached out, touching my arm. "She is the only thing in this pack that is real and honest. If you break her, you aren't just losing a Luna. You are losing the only part of yourself that isn't made of stone. Stop trying to harden her until she’s as cold as you."

I didn't answer. I couldn't. I just nodded once, a silent acknowledgment of the truth she was forcing me to face.

Earth sighed, patted my arm, and walked away, leaving me alone in front of Tamara's door again.

I stood there for a long time. My heart was beating faster than it ever had in the arena. I was the Alpha of the Night Sword.

I had killed rogues, led wars, and survived the harshest winters in the territory. But standing in front of this simple wooden door, I felt like I couldn't do it.

I reached out, my fingers trembling slightly, and knocked.