If I Could See Again (MxM)

Woman's Touch

Chapter 2: Woman's Touch

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"Oh, yeah I forgot you have that amazing opportunity... please don't mind me and just go. I'm fine on my own." Soma said with some semblance of his past self. His past kind and caring self, but then in a snap of the moment, a single blink of the eye, he changed, reverting back to his more agressive side once more... "I wouldn't want your time to be wasted on a blind cripple that only drains your recourses constantly and mocks you relentlessly...."

"Stop... please... you know I'd never think of you like that..." There was such sincere sadness behind her eyes, Angelica's eyes were filled with hope and vision for a better tommorow, meanwhile the man that sat on the floor had none whatsoever, not even the slightest bit of desire to make a change to his mundane existence that had come to this constant back and forth with his dearest friend... "I will go now... please get some rest..."

"Will do..." Soma sat back, his lifeless eyes that didn't reflect light sat there vacant, his expression unmoved, his hands shaking slightly...

How much is a human life worth?

And how much is one willing to give and sacrifice for their life to not lack meaning…

How can one over-indulge while others starve? How can one sleep while others lay there restless and in pain?

Are all people truly equal or are some more equal than others?

Is one’s life more valuable than another’s?

And if one completely closes their eyes, ignores those that suffer, will they be able to live a life that is at least half decent enough to numb their indifference to the world and themselves?

Is such a thing even called living if your last shred of humanity is lost in the process?

There was no need to think too hard about one's existence but when left alone with nothing but time to think... what else was Soma suppossed to do but ponder, in the everlasting darkness of his unseeing pupils, he felt like he saw more than he needed of a world that showed nothing but cruelty to it's inhabitants, and same goes for them towards each other...

Days passed in a relentless search for meaning, Soma listened to audiobooks, one of his only past times he was allowed to have, now that his vast library was just sitting there to collect dust, he listened... the sound of the person speaking was calming, the book was very old, they didn't even print copies anymore, and it wasn't a popular book by any means...

"Sorrow of Tommorow" a dreadful title, it was by a small time author who'd beed writing for years, his debut work in fact, it was a tale that Soma had read while he still had his vision intact, while he still had hope, the book read like a tale of those that look foward despite their struggles, but now the same book seemed to lead him to much more unsavory thoughts...

Soma slowly stood up, he could see a shadow flikering, a small bit of light, he mostly saw darkness but at that moment he could regain a bit of himself when that flikering light appeared. It was a wonderous thing, he wasn't sure if there was really anything there but rather... he hoped there was. He hoped with the entirety of his worn out soul that it wasn't just a figment of his imagination but truly one of the few moments he could perceive the world outside of himself...

There was no way to tell... He walked towards his door, next to the entrance was his walking stick as he grabbed it and headed outside. Feeling the door's keyhole he locked it behind himself. Slowly and steadily he got down the stairs on his own. Bumbing into one or two, careful not to miss a step he held onto the handrail like each step could be his last...

If falling down and breaking his neck would end his suffering he wondered if he would do it... but then as alaways he had this innate desire to continue existing... It was a wonderous thing... he hadn't had any hopes for a future, just the lack of desire to end his existence on such a pathetic note...

By the time he got outside it was dark, not that he was able to see it. To him day and night was all the same...

Slowly and steadily, slowly and... He tripped over a rock, regaining his balance he moved foward. If there were people around him he was sure they'd look at him with a particular distain, maybe even pity. Oh, God knew how much Soma hated being pitied.

"Do you have spare change?" An elderly woman approached him, her eyes glimmered a bit even in the darkness.

"Yeah..." Soma felt around in his pocket, he brought out his wallet and felt up inside, he had a particular way to fold his bills so he would be able to tell them apart, he handed the elderly woman a 5 dollar bill.

"May God bless you in your endevours..." The woman accepted the folded bill and walked along her way. Close by Soma heard her repeat those words "Do you have change?" to the next person...

There was no right or wrong way to live in this world... and yet one would always be inclined to use their own life as an example of what is right...

Soma had fallen hard on his luck and yet he knew there were others who lacked all the more than him. That thought didn't comfort him, it didn't make him feel anything at all despite more indifference... if the world is truly such a hopeless place then why would one continue to try despite not reaching anywhere in their lifetime?

"Do you want some?" A younger man approached him and by the sound of his steps and the pre-pubecent voice that he could hear, Soma ssumed it was but a child or a teen that stood near him.

"No, I don't do drugs." Soma told him as he continued walking foward.

"These pills... they can help you a lot, they're sort of like medicine... it's still in development though." The kid spoke in a convincing manner and yet it fell through once it reached the man's ears.

"As I said, no thank you." Soma continued foward with his walking stick, he still had much trouble adjusting to it. He more or less knew the route by heart anyways, but some thing or another always was in his way. Lately a lot of junkies had been leaving around their pill bottles and suringes on the ground. It was difficult work to avoid them...

And while he had no reason in particular to go outside, he alost always inevitably ended at the same place. A small coffee shop in the neighbourhood. In truth the trip to there would be less than 10 minutes for someone seeing, but for him it took him upwards of half an hour. Especially when people approached him from time to time... Finally when arriving there he felt the familiar scent inside and stepped in casually, sitting down at his usual table, he waited. It was actually a self serving place but due to his disability the coffee shop employees made an exception for him...

"Um..." Suddenly an unfamiliar voice was heard near him. "I mean I don't mind sharing a table if you want to... or should I move?" A yong sounding voice spoke to him...