Betrayed

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Beth Lawson

I never thought I’d be naked in this bed listening to Jacob hum in the kitchen.

thisbedEven through all the years of wanting him to kiss me, I never thought further than I’d trust him to be my first. Now, I was thoroughly twitterpated, and had s*x over two nights with my best friend, the change in our relationship just hours shy of two weeks old.

I’d trust him to be my first.twonightsFrea-ky.

Frea-kyBut awesome.

This week would’ve been a lot harder without him answering my calls.

My bladder said it was time to get up, so I found my underwear and his t-shirt and used his bathroom. The girl in the mirror made me do a double-take. My hair was a rat’s nest and I had a dark purple hickey on the side of my neck above my collarbone.

There was no way of hiding that mark without wearing a turtleneck.

noI walked into the kitchen and slugged his arm. “Are you trying to get me in trouble?”

“Hey! What are you on about?”

“This. I told you not to leave obvious marks.”

ThisHe touched it. “That’s a good one.” Then grabbed the waffle that popped up out of the toaster. “Ooo, hot.”

“Dumbass. My dad is going to freak when he sees my neck!”

freak“Wear a scarf,” he said with his mouth full. “It’d be cute.”

I rolled my eyes and grabbed the apple he left on the counter. “I don’t have a scarf, or a short-sleeve turtleneck, or make-up thick enough to hide this thing. You realize you have to flee now before he kicks your ass.”

have“Is he really going to notice with all that’s going on, Beth? A love bite’s a bit insignificant right now. Just hide it with your hair or something.”

Ugh, why couldn’t he understand this was a big deal? “Mom will notice and she’ll tell him, and she’s smart enough to put two and two together if they know you’re in town.”

Mom“What, you never made out in high school?”

“No.”

No“Not ever?” He asked like he couldn’t imagine people existing with such a history.

I looked away. “Kissing you was the first time I kissed anybody.”

“Wow.” He took my face in his hands. “I’m honored.”

I blushed. “Shut up. No fair being sweet when I’m annoyed with you.”

He gathered me into his arms. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll take you shopping.” Then looked down. “Are you naked under my shirt?”

“God, you have a one-track mind.”

“Didn’t answer my question.” His hands slid under the hem of the tee.

I batted them away before he could distract me with their talents. “Quit that. I’m mad at you.”

He grinned. “No, you’re not.”

Okay, I wasn’t mad, but definitely inconvenienced.

madThe hickey was not a good thing to come home with and I wished I could hide out until it faded, which, with my fair skin, couldn’t come soon enough.

“Don’t wanna play, Jacob.”

I sat on one of the dining chairs and bit into the apple.

Seeing me genuinely put out, his demeanor changed and became more contrite. “I’m sorry, love. I’ll remember next time.”

Guess it bothered me so much because it reminded me I was still a kid in some ways, and stuff like this was only the beginning of things that would chafe until I struck out in the world on my own. The dorm still awaited, but with Mom’s diagnosis…

Well, I hadn’t decided if I could leave home, yet.

On the one hand, I’d have freedom. On the other, I’d worry.

He touched my shoulder. “Hey, what’s going through that head, kitten?”

“Lots.” I rubbed my forehead. “Too much, lately.”

Moving a chair close, he sat and put his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him. “I’m here, okay?”

“I know. Until you have to leave.”

He didn’t reply to that and I didn’t ask him to. We sat cuddling until the mood settled and we could turn attention back to food.

After breakfast, I wanted to get dressed, but needed a shower somethin’ awful.

We went through a round of you go—no, you go and ended up with him using his mother’s bathroom and me using his. I braided my hair over the side with the bruise, which sort of concealed it. If my hair never moved.

you go—no, you go“What would you like to do today?” he asked, leaning casually on the doorframe.

“Aren’t you supposed to box up the house?”

“Technically, but I think I’m allowed to spend a day with my girl.”

I’d never get tired of hearing that—my girl. “I don’t know…” I looked in the direction of her house. “Mom might need something.”

my girl“We could go to the beach, take your camera, escape the heat a bit…”

That smile wouldn’t sway me this time. “Let me check in first.”

He sighed. “Alright.”

He plopped on the couch in front of the TV and reached for the remote. Rolling my eyes, I left through the back to climb over the wall again. No one was in my yard or showing through a window, so I dropped to the ground and hurried to my room. The pencil was where I left it, allowing me back inside.

I dressed properly, then reached for makeup.

Caking on concealer hid the hickey a bit more, but not entirely, so I’d still need to be careful to keep my hair over it if I ran into my parents.

I loaded a roll of film into my camera and left it on the desk next to my purse.

I walked out to the front to check the driveway first.

No cars, but one could be in the garage.

A note was stuck to the fridge:

Elizabeth,

We went to see the nutritionist for your mother’s new diet. Then we’ll stop at the store.

Dad

Okay, guess I wasn’t needed. New diet? Fighting cancer required specific food? Well, whatever worked. If eating powdered duck bills upside-down would kill the cancer, I’d feed it to Mom personally.

I left my own note about spending a few hours with a friend, grabbed my stuff, and left the house, using the sidewalk to get to Jacob’s this time.

His door was unlocked. “So?” he asked.

“They weren’t there.”

“Lucky me.” He turned off the TV.

I followed him to the garage where his mother’s car was stored. “Aren’t you going to lock the front door?”

“I’ll do it after I move the car. Have to put the lock on the garage, anyway.” He pushed the garage door up. There was no automatic opener. Opened the passenger door for me. “Hold that.” He dropped a padlock on my lap.

Backed the car to the end of the driveway, locked both doors, and pulled onto the street once it was clear, then tuned the radio to his favorite local rock station.

It was a half-hour drive to the beach he’d chosen, one of the little places you took stairs down to with some tide pools and a bit of sand. The only other person there was a diver going into the water just as we took to the stairs. The air was at least ten degrees cooler than inland and smelled fresher than at the sunbathing beaches.

Though I wasn’t really a swimmer, the peace of the waves always called to me.

Jacob sat on the last step to take his boots and socks off. I sat two steps above him and pulled my camera out of my bag.

He continued stripping down to a pair of black swim trunks. “Join me?”

I shook my head. “I don’t do the ocean.”

He shrugged and stood on the sand. “Your loss, love.” Then took off at a run and dove into the waves, coming up again where the water was armpit high.

He was gorgeous wet in general, and here the sun was making his eyes crystal blue and glowing like beacons. I raised the camera to my eye and zoomed the lens on his face, now in profile. He dove into the waves again.

The water was gentle today, not even making peaks.

I wondered if saw the diver under there.

I kept an eye to where my boyfriend was, but turned my camera to other subjects—a hermit crab, a couple anemones in a tiny pool, the carving of the cliff wall to the beach. Capturing nature in interesting ways fascinated me and I liked when a photo of something natural looked like it could be something else. Focused on the view through my lens, I didn’t notice he came up behind me until he shook his wet hair like a dog.

“Hey! Watch it!” I jumped away from him and shielded the camera.

“Should keep your ears open, love,” he said, grinning. “Give us a cuddle.”

I evaded his arms. “No, you’re wet!”

“Didn’t seem to mind a week ago.”

“That was in the shower.” I dodged another grab. “Stop it. Expensive equipment in my hands.”

“So put it down.” He stalked me like a cat.

Could make a break for it, but he was a faster runner and had a bit of a stride advantage. Didn’t want to run with the camera, though—it was Mom’s.

“I don’t feel like playing right now, Jacob.”

He sighed. “Fine. What do you want to do?”

“I was doing it before you interrupted me.”

“Just horsin’ around. Don’t have to be a b***h about it.”

Excuse me? “I’m not being a b***h. I was protecting my camera.”

Excuse me?bitchNow I wished I drove. The camera strap went around my neck and I turned for the stairs, grabbing my bag on the way up.

.There was a fruit stand across the road where I could sit in the shade. He could swim until he grew gills for all I cared…no one got away with calling me names anymore.

For once, he didn’t chase after me.

What, I’m not worth chasing?

Whoa, there, with the crazy talk.

Well, he never lets me have the last word. What am I supposed to think?

And even as I thought it, I saw him wait for a car to pass, then jog across the road. He was dressed again. I stopped peeking and pretended to find a cantaloupe very interesting.

“Let’s go, Beth.”

“Huh? Oh, hi. Hungry?” I walked to the register and requested, “One basket of the strawberries, please.” The girl handed over the berries in a paper bag in exchange for my money.

“Done?” he snapped.

“Yes.” No cars were coming, so I crossed at a walking pace. “Where are we going?”

“Home.”

I had to open my door this time. “That’s mature.”

“Don’t want to waste your time.”

“God, you’re such a drama queen.”

He drove onto the street. “You’re more interested in being with your parents right now. I heard it in your voice when you came back to the house. The camera’s your way to avoid thinking about it.”

“They teach you that in Psych 101?”

“Beth, you didn’t talk the whole way down here.”

“You had the radio on loud!”

“So turn the bleedin’ thing down. Known you long enough to know when you’d rather be elsewhere.” Why was he picking a fight?

“Sorry if my mother having cancer is inconvenient for you.” Of all the… If we weren’t so many miles from home, I’d get out of the car right here. “This morning was nice. I’m not the one that ruined it.”

cancerOf all the…I’mHe shook his head and exhaled, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. Seriously, there was nothing he had to have a tantrum about.

I wasn’t the one picking fights.

Back in LA, he dropped me off in front of my house. I slammed the car door and stomped inside, not caring if he left or not.

My parents were in the kitchen putting away groceries.

“Hi, honey,” Mom said.

“Have fun, Elizabeth?” Dad asked, his head in the pantry.

“Took some shots. I’ll be in the dark room unless you guys need anything?”

“Nope.”

I nodded to Mom and took my camera into my brother’s former bedroom. The roll I happened to have was only twenty-four exposures, so I’d gone through it fast.

Working in the darkroom was therapeutic. Everything was timed and measured. Structured. Mom and I worked with an amber safelight to see what we were doing. As long as the light was at least four feet from the paper, there were no problems.

First, to load the film on a reel in the dark. Then to process the negatives, I needed to put it through pre-soak, developer, stop bath, fixer, wash, wetting agent, and drying for at least four hours for them to harden completely. We hung the sheet with a weight at the bottom to straighten it. The strip could then be cut into individual images.

It was around one o’clock when I started, which meant I could check the strip around dinner time to see about making prints. The AC vent was sealed off in this room to help the drying process, so the duration was usually shorter in summer.

An enlarger was used to project the image of a negative onto a base for printmaking. A sheet of photographic paper was exposed with the enlarged image from the negative. The exposed paper was processed, first by immersion in a photographic developer, then halting development with a stop bath, and fixing it in a photographic fixer. The print was then washed to remove the processing chemicals, and dried.

We spaced the prints out on a clothesline.

I left the room and came upon my smiling mother.

“What did you use this time?” she asked.

“Color. It was what I had handy.”

“I look forward to seeing them.”

“Where’s Dad?”

“Playing nine holes. He needed some man time after the visit to the alternative health center.”

“I thought you were seeing a nutritionist?”

“We did, but that’s where she’s at and we talked about stuff other than pills and injections. Research says you have better chances with a positive outlook, so we discussed spiritual wellbeing, too. That kind of thing makes your dad uncomfortable.”

Dad was only comfortable discussing work and sports.

I followed her into the kitchen. “I can imagine. So, what’s this fancy diet?”

“Completely organic, with the nutrient ratios specific to my body type to keep my strength up once I start chemo.”

My heart sped up at that scary word. “But we don’t know that you’ll need that, yet. The doctor said—”

“I’m only preparing. I’d rather expect the worst and be surprised by the best. Besides, the food is still good for me either way, so it won’t hurt.”

“Yes, Mom.”

How she could think about the badness, I didn’t know. It terrified me.

Mom showed me the recipes in her new cookbook and talked about the yoga instructor she met. Once she had a path, it was full steam ahead.

We made dinner when Dad came home, then I went back in the darkroom.

I worked on print after print, slowly seeing my subjects revealed.

The photo of Jacob standing in the water took my breath away and I wondered again why he wanted me as a partner. He could rule the world with his charisma and ambition.

I was just a scared young girl.