Benevolence

Chapter 5

He had taken dinner back up to his room because he couldn't stand their stares and their company.

He didn't eat anything though. At some point someone must have come and taken the tray away because it wasn't on his bed.

He couldn't sleep. He was exhausted but as soon as he lay his head down a vivid image of Theo's face sprang up at him and made sleep impossible. He deserved it though. He wasn't sure how many days had passed. He was on suspension for the first time ever for a month. He was sure at least two weeks had passed because the sun and moon kept changing places and the trays just kept coming in.

He still didn't eat anything though. His hollow stomach was kept satisfied for a while with gum. He wasn't sure when he'd last showered or changed his clothes not that it mattered. Why was he thinking about such trivial things in temporary exile?

He realized it was because the alternative would drive him insane. He knew they were watching him. There was a pair of CCTV cameras attached to his door and his cupboard so that he could be under surveillance all the time. It was that or the local jail for a month.

It wouldn't have made a difference since his mind was already jailing him up. They thought he couldn't see them peeking in warily and leaving speedily as he twitched his head a bit. Them being James and Olivia. He knew they had a lot to say to him especially Olivia but wouldn't because they were terrified he'd turn on them.

Solitude he had thought would help him remember what had happened! Was there actually something wrong with him? Had he done something like this before? Did he actually have serious need to be locked up in the mad house where he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else?

It scared him not knowing what was happening to him. He couldn't stay here anymore. Not when he was unpredictable with his actions and confused in his brain. Did he have MPD ( multiple personality disorder)? He didn't do anything about his theories though because he was paralyzed.

He could move but was emotionally and mentally paralyzed and they say that the mind controls the entire body.

During one of his monotonous days in exile a change in his routine occurred. His dad came to visit. This was a change he wasn't ready for. He was scared of himself. He didn't know what he would do. He didn't want to hurt dad.

“Please leave,” he whispered curling up into a ball and sinking his face into his tear stained pillow. He heard footsteps and he thought his dad was actually going to leave which made his heart constrict painfully and dulled his spirit further. Though this was what he wanted his dad to do it still hurt since his dad was his hero.

He felt the bed dip and stunned, slowly lifted his head up to see his dad sitting by his leg with an intense look piercing his eyes as if he were trying to figure him out. He felt a heaviness in his bones that wasn't there before and pushed himself up to meet his father's gaze.

“I left you alone for a while so that when I came to you, you would be ready to come clean. I understand you must be feeling distraught about Theo yet I am more concerned about you. You never struck me as someone to aggressively attack someone like we saw that night and the most logical reason that came to me was that someone forced you to act like that. If it weren't for the blood on you or you being the only one with Theo then I'd cross you of the suspect list immediately however I am afraid there is no doubt that you were the one to hurt Theo,” Dad finished with a low voice thickly laced with pain.

The silence in the room crushed him like a smothering blanket and his mind raced to find an excuse in response to Dad's words yet there was nothing. Something had compelled him to do it whether it was him or something else. Suddenly everything was clearer as Dad's words put the last golden piece to the puzzle.

“Dad I would never hurt Theo like that even if someone forced me to. Not for anything they could give me or threaten me with. He's my brother but I know how it could seem for me to be the killer. See Dad I blacked out as soon as I got into the changing rooms which I'd entered looking for Theo. It hurt pretty bad too so someone could've knocked me out and hurt Theo. Then they would have rubbed the blood and evidence on me before running away leaving me to wake up shocked."

He looked back at dad a bit more confident and hopeful because that was the only logical explanation. It's why he couldn't remember a thing about what he had supposedly done and why he was the obvious culprit.

“Look Dad if it was me that did it then why would I stay on to get caught?” This was not how he wanted my first real conversation to go with his dad and he hated how pathetically whiney his voice sounded. Seriously cringe-worthy however he wanted to convince him of his innocence almost as much as he was trying to convince himself.

Dad looked at him unsure and he couldn't blame him because he had probably never had to deal with this sort of situation before. He gulped slightly as dad turned his fiery gaze back at him and he stared back unblinking, hoping he would stop doing that soon.

He didn't however and the fire inside his eyes continued to flare up in the deafening silence between them. He was terrified of his burning eyes and jumped shakily as the glass in his father's hand smashes into small shimmering glaciers running down with the currents of champagne.

Dad was f*****g furious and he wallows in self pity staring at him. Instantaneously he composes himself albeit a bit shakily and leaves the room with a resonating thud of the door.

He curled inwards on himself and shook from the fear still vibrating through him as Louis came in. Did dad set him up to this?

“I am not in the mood for another lecture Lou just leave me alone. I already explained myself to dad.”

Louis stayed by the door and looked out of the window before beginning his ‘lecture’ after heaving a long sigh.

“I'm not here to ask you about what you did though you should know that I'm still incredibly ashamed, angry and disappointed in you. As is Dad but anyway dad told me to tell you that you're going to have a court meeting today and mum's going to be your defender. He also told me to tell you not to say anything and let her handle it. Okay, and make sure you don't panic because Theo's parents are going to be there against you.”

He looked back at him with a sad and sympathetic look before clearing his throat. He paused with his hand on the knob and his eyes on him as if searching for an answer to something before he turned leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He felt frozen over, numb from the confusion and the pain. Why was all this happening to him? Why was his best friend stuck in intensive care? If he had been told any of this would happen and he would have to go to court for it he'd have laughed it off with R and Theo except Theo would never talk to him now and R hadn't called at all.

An unsettling feeling spread through his stomach because even though he told dad that someone else had done this to him he knew it was him.

He knew it was him because Theo had glared at him both fearfully and with loathing before anyone had come in to see them.