Benevolence

Chapter 3

He had homeroom for thirty minutes before assembly so he decided to talk to Theo and R. The last they had talked was the final week of summer and that was over Skype. Approaching them though he realized he couldn't talk to them as they were too engrossed with each other and seemed intent on memorizing the other's face by heart.

God they are gross! Did he think that because he found anyone with Theo gross? Or was it because he thought that if it were him instead of her that would make it perfect?

Since he couldn't talk to them he took out his iPod and closed his eyes, leaning on the wall as he shuffled through his favourite heavy metal playlist.

He was abruptly yanked out of his peaceful state by the harsh piercing of his skin through sharpened baby blue nails of Emilie Thatcher who just so happened to be Bella's right hand girl.

“She wants to talk to you,” Emilie said in her sock muffled voice, blowing a bubble in his face and chewing slowly whilst staring at him with her lazy doe-eyed expression.

He sighed and took the headphones out of his ears. He was extremely curious as to why she had sent her little minion instead of herself so he decided to indulge her.

“Why didn't she come here herself to ask me? Has she lost her confidence or something?” He asked His eyes wandering around the room till they landed on the figure of Bella Anthrop, junior queen of the bachelor buttons; who was watching them with a cool expression on her face yet her eyes were hopeful.

Wait they were hopeful? She was hopeful? The hopeful look wasn't in a victorious hope way either. It was hope like that of a child awaiting their father's return from an expedition.

A warm honest hopeful look. The rest of Emilie's request became a blur as he was stunned his gaze fixated on Bella who had averted her eyes after a while.

OMG! What on earth was going on? Why was Bella acting so out of character today? Did summer really have an effect on her? She never looked away first. Every time he did look at her she kept her stand till he looked away.

A crash and the screaming that had ensued afterwards brought him out of his musings as he witnessed Bella yelling at some innocent bystander for knocking her down. This confused him since she was still acting like a total b***h to everyone around her yet she was acting so out of character towards him.

Why was he suddenly the exception? Realization hit him and he couldn't help the smug look that appeared on his face. She was really desperate, wasn't she? Not for him though. She just wanted the boy who rejected her to succumb to her charms and say yes.

He knew she would reverse everything if that were to happen and he would become popular instantly.

However he doesn't like to even think about taking that route.

So she had gone through all her options till there was nothing except the act totally sweet to get him to like you plan left.

She really should have thought about making it more convincing by acting nicely to everyone except for him.

He might have fallen for it then. He could feel someone watching him and looked up to see her watching him with a sweet smile yet as he looked closer he noticed her eyes were lit with confusion and sadness.

As though she had no idea what she was doing.

Shaking of the weird thoughts he picked up his shoulder bag and set off for English which he had missed five minutes off.

Shit.

He loved English. In fact it was his favourite lesson but Miss Harvey was a demon if you came in late. If it wasn't for the fact that he was a neat runner he could have landed himself into detention but he managed to get to his desk just as she walked in.

Talk about great timing!

He noticed that Theo was sitting next to him which was a pleasant surprise since he loved watching Theo do, well anything. He just liked watching Theo.

This meant that he hadn't paid any attention to Miss Harvey as she explained the report they had to work on in pairs.

“Thank god I'm sitting with the A* tulip who happens to be ace at this report stuff and who also happens to be my best friend,” Theo teased as he got tore two plain A4 sheets out of his book.

“God Theo you're a complete arse you know that? “He replied smiling at him and praying that he wasn't blushing because he would have to explain that which would be tough.

‘You love me anyway,’ Theo replied ruffling his hair fondly.

He noticed that Theo seemed to be far away in his thoughts that day because though he was normally quite absentminded he seemed to be thinking quite hard over something if him biting his lip was anything to go by.

He was not staring at his lip at that time.

“Hey are you alright?” Theo asked concerned. “Maybe you should go to the nurse, you're heating up.”

Oh god dammit! He was blushing! Yes he would leave right now before he did anything else that would humiliate me.

“Yeah maybe I should, “He replied feeling clammy, “I think I'm feeling a bit light-headed at the moment.”

If only.

“Miss! He's not feeling well. Can I take him to matron's office?”

Miss Harvey looked up at him from her desk and nodded slowly looking over his face, “Go quickly now boys and if this is an excuse you will both be very sorry.”

Theo nodded and grabbed his arm, hauling him out of the room gently. If he hadn’t been pretending to feel woozy he might have enjoyed it. If he wasn't worried about being questioned he might have enjoyed it too.

“It... it's alright Theo,” he stuttered shakily, “I can walk myself.”

Theo scanned his face once quickly and nodded, “Are you sure?”

More sure than anything else he'd ever been sure about most definitely.

“Definitely,” he smiled reassuringly ignoring the queasy feeling in his stomach. He would feel so much better once Theo had left.

“If you are sure then I can't do anything to change your mind can I? Without violating the bro code of course. Just meet me at lunch by lockers alright?”

Thank the lord for their cheesy bro code rules book where the no unnecessary helping each other by touching was added.

“Sure thing, if they won't keep me locked up for long. You know what matron's like,” he laughed softly retrieving his arm from Theo's hold.

“You'll be out of there real quick I bet. Just don't pass out or puke on the way there alright? R would have my head if she found out I left you halfway. Girls I tell you man. They are so weird. Well then see ya. Safe journey.”

And with that Theo left with a flourish and a bow. He wasn't a dramatic daisy for nothing!

He obviously didn't go to the matron's office and took a turn round the corner to the grand school library. It didn't look at all like the modern tech filled library seen in town these days.

Every shelf, table and banister was made of mahogany and the air held the musty smell of old books. It smelt of safety and this was where he spent his time until lunch.

The event that took place at lunch shattered his world.

He became so engrossed in his research over the school's history that he lost track of time and was startled when he heard the bell go off.

Looking up he realized that he was supposed to meet up with Theo by the lockers which for some reason unsettled him but he put it down to his small crush on the guy.

Who wouldn't be nervous about meeting up at the lockers alone?

When he got there he saw that Theo was already standing there looking around bored till he saw him and threw him a grin.

He must have been standing there gaping like a dork till Theo called out to him.

“So you wanted to meet up?” He said trying to sound casual about being in close proximity with Theo alone as his mind stood by on red alert.

“Yeah so how do you feel?” Theo asked, looking around quickly.

Weird behaviour much? Maybe he was just embarrassed to ask about his health (which was sweet) since guys don't do that.

Why would he though? It's not like him. Well he hasn't been himself for a long time really but he’s not one to question him. He will tell him when he's ready and he won't push him into telling him if he doesn't want to.

“Oh me? Yeah I feel alright. Turns out it was just a mild cold,” he mumbled.

Suddenly he was pushed up against the wall roughly and he didn't have any time to think or assess the situation when he snogged him.

O.M.G!!!

Unlike his personality the kiss was gently slow and lingering with a few tortuous nibbles at his lip leaving him whimpering. Their lips had melded together like pieces of a lost and unsolved puzzle. The hands of time itself had stopped as he devoured the flavour of Theo's lips.

Cinnamon and mint with the vague scent of vanilla. He would never let go of this memory. He would remember every last second of it.

He would remember how Theo's soft, cool hands snaked up his neck closing the space in between them. He would remember the hot breath that escaped from Theo's mouth during the kiss. He would remember the whirling feelings of joy, happiness, love and contentment he had experienced in those few seconds.

Feeling bold he curled his fingers into Theo's belt loops and pulling him, leaned into him inhaling the heavenly scents wafting from him. His skin was burning with passion and it felt like the air around them was being scorched. The intense passion took a grip over his heart and he felt it being suppressed and squeezed repeatedly under his chest; beating harshly against his ribcage. It hurt but this was a good kind of pain.

He opened his eyes slowly scared that the magic would disappear as soon as he did but it didn't. He gazed at Theo's serene face adoringly and decided that if he was dreaming about this then he would make the most out of it.

It warmed his heart when he saw how gentle and loving Theo was being towards him. He had seen how he acted with his other girls and this was nothing like that. Theo was holding and treating him like something extremely dear and precious to him which he would treasure and protect forever.

As if he could sense himself being analyzed Theo opened his eyes sensually slow and looked at him dazed. His intense navy blue eyes had mellowed down to a tender oceanic blue. He tilted his head so that their foreheads touched which made the butterflies in his stomach get out of control. He could feel the heat burning away at his heavily fortified heart as he internally collapsed like putty into Theo's hands.

Looking back up at Theo he noticed a shift in the ardent atmosphere. His eyes were looking around discretely-when he thought he wasn't looking or was too busy drooling over him- and his eyes were looking, was that…..?

Sad? Regretful? Guilty?

And unsure?

He got a really bad feeling about Theo's behaviour but didn't want to think about it. He actually wanted to feel good again. He wanted this moment to go on forever but he had to come back to reality. He didn't like Theo's shifty behaviour at all.

This wasn't the first time he had looked around like that. It had started before summer for a month where he would disappear for hours on end under the guise of seeing R though R had told him that he never had. In their company he would always be on the lookout and his hands would be tapping the table nervously.

Everything about him seemed on edge since June.

He wasn't sure he wanted to find out either. Finally Theo looked back at him, that unsure look coming back into his eyes and murmured, “Hey what's wrong? You alright?”

He looked into Theo's eyes intensely and shot back, “I'm fine but are sure you're alright?”

Theo flinched at his tone and ran his hand through his hair. A nervous habit along with the swerving eyes and the tapping. What on earth was going on?

“Yeah I'm fine. Why on earth wouldn't I be? I'm perfectly…” He trailed off when the corridor was filled with jeering laughter.

Why on earth would anyone…….

He internally face palmed. This is what happened if you let down your guard at this school. Especially with what he had just been doing. Especially if it was him.

But he couldn't believe that Theo would do this to him.

Was this what all the shifty glances and guilty looks were for? His evident guilt for betraying one of his biggest secrets. One which would outcast him indefinitely.

Theo had joined the squad after two years of having the will to resist. He had curbed to the sheer power of popularity.

In order to make it through to the final rank he had done this. To his best friend since they could talk.

It was too good to be true it seemed; the illusion he'd had a feel off. He could never get anything good. He never deserved it.

Theo had stepped back till he was level with the throng of kids who had no doubt been watching silently the entire time.

Being gay was one of the unforgivable things at this school. Especially since it was a catholic school. It was alright if no one knew of it but once seen there was no way back.

As if his life couldn't get any worse.

His face whitened with anger and his eyes sprang onto Theo who flinched under his fury. Tears threatened to leak out of his eyes but he kept them back. There was no way anyone would see his weakness. No whatever he may have just lost because of his former friend he would still keep his pride and dignity.

A laugh ringing louder than anyone else's made him turn to his left. It was Mark, holding his phone. Obviously it was Mark. What hurt was that he had an arm round Theo's shoulders and it looked casual, as if they did this a lot.

This is where he went since June when pretending to be at R's. He was sucking up to the squad. It made sense since he was bound to eventually. It hurt though. It hurt a lot.

Mark sensed his hurt and betrayal since he decided to begin making even more of a spectacle of him.

“Hey lover boy quit making sad little goo-goo eyes at my pal here. If you weren't freakish enough already you had to be a fag too! Theo here was right as it seems. You are a disgrace to us you know that. A stinkin' dirty swine. Theo here finally saw it and chose the right thing eh? He finally saw how pathetic and worthless you are. He didn't know that you actually liked him though. Oh god I wasn't expecting that either but it really was entertaining though! Hey did anyone get that on tape?”

An affirmative yes was heard over the gossiping whispers. He stared at Mark levelly, his eyes void of emotions and his features set on neutral. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing him break down.

“I knew it all along you see. I just had to show everyone since it's my duty as a student here to look out for everyone else. We don't want them getting contaminated with your filthy ways. It was a service to mankind. We need to get rid of your kind because I heard the kinda illness you got there is contagious. Yes ladies and gentlemen save yourselves from this man-w***e or he will eat you up.”

Then Mark proceeded to make awful slurping noises waving his hands dramatically in the air. Will meanwhile he watched Theo who was firmly staring at the ground with his fists clenched.

Like that was supposed to mean something. He could feel the rest of Mark's team circle around him and they took turns to prod and poke him, treating him like a museum exhibit.

Like they hadn't seen a homosexual guy before. The bell rang at that moment thank heavens for that but the damage was done. His reputation was sullied beyond repair but what he still had was his dignity and pride.

He would not lose that.

The other kids starting to leave still talking about him and glancing backwards. After five minutes only Mark and his gang remained so he decided he had had enough.

He knew what would come next so he grabbed Malik's arm- another jock and best friends with Mark-, twisted it and ran towards the bathroom. He was glad that the corridors were empty because he could no longer stop the tears coming down his face.

He slammed the door shut and went to the sink cleaning his tear stained face up as much as he could whilst staring at his sorry reflection in the mirror.

He saw the door open after a few minutes and tensed up thinking Mark had got bored of waiting. He turned around to face him and was stunned by what he saw.

It wasn't Mark.

It was Theo.

As soon as he saw him he couldn't help but wish he would feel exactly how furious and betrayed he felt at that moment.

He met Theo's eyes slowly and-

Everything went blank.