The Girl in the Middle

The story of Amber

*Amber*

The park is in the middle of the city. It is a green area cordoned by big trees toward the harbour and with a couple small stores at the opposite side. There is a pub, a small grocery store and a clothing store. In the middle of the park is a fountain with no water, a skating ramp and a ball court with tattered nets.

There is a lot of people in the park. Most have visible tattoos, telling that they belong to one of the five gangs. Children are playing on the ball court without worries even though all the adults around them are armed. On the skating ramp a group of young men hang out, they seem totally out of place.

“The spoiled princes of Farhill". Kattie say looking annoyed when I ask who they are. "They come here thinking they are cool with their skateboards, acting all entitled. But as soon as it gets dark out or things get heated they run home to their nice mansions, warm beds and food others cook for them".

She sits down on the grass and I follow her example. Sitting in her own thoughts she pulls out a knife and started cutting in the grass.

"Kattie ? Who is she ?" My voice is barely a whisper, but still Kattie's head snap up like I had yelled at her. "Who was Amber ?" It is a guess that I am not the first to carry that name. But it is the only logical explanation for the way people act.

"The uncrowned queen of the underworld". Kattie sigh. I can see pain in her eyes. "I have been fearing this day since you showed up here. Fearing that I would have to tell you".

"You don't have to talk about her if you don't want to". I tell her apologetic, feeling badly about bringing it up.

"You deserve to know it. And it isn't fair to the others that they have to keep it hidden for you any longer". Kattie say looking at the pattern she has cut into the grass. "You need to know one thing about her. She was confident, she was so strong and she knew it. No one knew where she came from. She just showed up one day demanding that one of the leaders took her in. She ended with Zombie as his first active female member ever. She was ice cold and ruthless. She put herself above all others. She became a pawn in the game between Clay and Zombie, when her and Zombie started a relationship and after several tries Clay managed to capture her and hold her as a hostage". Kattie took a deep breath before moving on. "I don't know what happened between them. From one day to the next she had moved in with us. Her and Clay was hopelessly in love. That didn't help Clay and Zombies relationship one bit".

"So they fell in love with the same girl". I say a bit surprised, I mean not exactly a story that hasn't been told before.

"Not just in love. They really, truly loved her. And she loved them. Both of them". Kattie say. "She kept up her ruthless life, except that now she is on our side. She was still on our side when we went to war backing up Gerard. It was the first time she did anything for someone else. And it got her killed". Kattie dries her eyes, even though there are no tears.

"I am sorry to hear that". I don't know what else to say.

"You have no idea what this will mean for you". Kattie look at me very seriously. "Clay and Zombie was standing with guns pointing at each other, ready to kill each other in cold blood. They shot at the same time. I don't know why Amber did it. Which of them she wanted to save. But she stopped them from killing each other the only way she could. She jumped between them, taking both bullets. She was dead before she hit the ground".

"Why did Clay give me her name ?" My voice a faint whisper. I am afraid it will break if I try to speak out loud.

"Because Clay is a very broken man". Kattie say harshly. "He tried to soothe his own pain with the drugs he is supposed to sell. They made him malignant. They stopped him from thinking clearly. It broke him even more than her death did".

"It doesn't explain..".

"Because you look like her". Kattie cut me of, closing her eyes like she try to hide from the truth. "When I saw you the first time, I wondered for a moment if you were really her".

My hands are clammy and I feel slightly nauseous. As if it isn't enough that Clay has given me her name, reminding everyone about what happened, I also look like her apparently.

"Don't blame yourself that you ended up here". Kattie takes my hand. "Clay f****d up when he gave you that name and he knows it. But you belong here now. You are one of us".

"I am going to be a pawn in Clay and Zombies games.. just like she was". I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt totally out of place, like I could no longer live in the apartment. I could no longer be near Clay.

"It is not everything you are". Kattie squeezes my hand, sending me a smile. "You have chosen to be here and we want you here. That you look like her and carries her name is just an extra bump in the road".

"One that makes it impossible for me to get my own identity. Clay and everyone else will always compare me to her, see me as her". Clay will always look at me and think of her, that makes me want to cry.

"I feared that, but I don't believe it any longer. When us in the apartment, who lived with her for more than a year can see you as you and not her, then everyone else should be able to. You might look like her, but you are nothing like her". Kattie smiles softly. "Don't compare yourself to her, be yours..". Kattie suddenly jump up. A knife ready in her hand, the other hand reaching for her gun.